Keep It Simple

• Emma faked a tummy ache knowing Ryan would immediately rush her to the hospital where she could sneak away to visit Annie. Is Emma the new Crazy Kathy? Like Mother, Like Daughter I hope.
  
• Aside from the complete implausibility of the plot, Chrishell Stause delivered an emotional and moving performance as Amanda delivered a perfect baby boy and told the world he died. David continued to defy the limits of time, logic and probability by being everywhere, all the time, at just the right time. Fortunately for David, flights leave Pine Valley every 30 minutes for Barbados. After finding out Jake and Amanda were there, he immediately hopped a flight and arrived minutes after the birth. The entire hospital staff was primed and ready for him and swore the baby died. Will David just accept the baby’s death or will he keep harassing Amanda until she cracks? Where is Janet From Another Planet in Amanda’s hour of need? David is no match for Grandma JFAP.


• Speaking of David, he proved his love for Krystal by driving drunk and wrecking into a guardrail. Krystal suffered her 80th head injury this year and was hospitalized just after she did a Penelope Pittstop in Tad’s arms. David also mocked Marissa for trying to be the daughter he never had, but JR made her feel better by explaining how she reminded him of cherry coke swilling, guacamole eating Saint Babe of Pine Valley.


• Tad mixed with the ladies and showed chemistry with JaLu, KWAK and Taylor. After reminiscing about old times with JaLu and realizing that Krystal’s heart is still with her head bashing husband, he pondered if Tad the Cad was dead. Then he sipped wine and popped a woody with Taylor at the ConFusion bar. Taylor and Brot’s relationship hit the skids.


• Angie’s Mood Weave turned limp and lifeless as Angie fretted over Frankie’s future. Frankie continued his downward spiral unable to turn the pages of his favorite magazine, sip from a wine goblet, or eat macaroni and cheese with a fork. The whole family staged an intervention and reminded him that he’s married to a really hot hooker.


• JaLu took on Annie’s case, while Adam accepted Annie into his home and kicked JR and Lil’ A out on their Lil’ Asses.


• Adam and the DA continue working to make the case against Kendall, who responded by sleeping late, watching TV, playing with her kids and parading about in low-cut blouses revealing her glistening 10” scar. Adam & Co. may be out to get her, but she’s too busy rubbing Mederma scar fading cream all over her chest and fantasizing about a ménage a trios’ with Ryan and Zach to care.


• Ryan kissed Erica in a weird, unnecessary scene. Annie kissed Adam and I felt a little bile rise up in the back of my throat, although I wonder who is playing who. Adam and Annie are gross, but sort of interesting. Ryan and Erica are just gross. Pratt says the audience wants it to happen though. The lesson here is: keep it simple enough for Pratt to understand or he will misinterpret what we say. Here’s how you do it:
  
  F-I-R-E C-H-U-C-K P-R-A-T-T !
  
  Now it’s your turn, right here.

Angie Great. Brot good. Randi bad. GhostBabe worse. Pratt worst.

• As if killing Stuart wasn’t bad enough, Pratt makes us relive it over and over as he drags the “Who Shot Stuart” murder mystery out all summer long. Of course the real mystery is “WTF is with Tad?”.


• Jessie is still acting like a Private Dick. Erica is the worst Private Dick ever, and Petey ruins the most significant piece of evidence discovered so far.


• What does Emma know about Stuart's death? She has a thing for guns. Not long ago she found a gun under the bed, and while most girls draw bunnies, flowers and butterflies, Emma draws an Astra, 357 Magnum, 3 " barrel, Armaloy satin finish, Lee Reloading dye, handgun.


• Pratt shoots another blank with an old storyline involving the sperm switch fiasco of Colby’s conception.


• Colby tries to read. Annie gets shanked for reading. Ryan tries basic math. Bless his heart.


• It’s Smackdown at Wildwind as KWAK and David go mano y mano over the end of their loving union!


• Kendall is torn between two lovers, and feelin’ like a fool, because lovin’ both of them is breakin’ all the rules…

GOOD NEWS! Chrishell Stause aka Amamda Dillon mercifully extends her contract through the end of the year!

NEXT WEEK ON All My Children: One character’s sperm ends up in a place it doesn’t belong! Another beloved character suffers a blunt force trauma to the head! (Ok, I totally made that up, but the odds are in my favor.)

Well folks, there may not be a new podcast this week, but there’s plenty to dish about. Let’s keep the blog going while Ashley takes a break to start the adventure of her life with Carlos and The Twins. Be on the lookout for Jordan’s posts. No doubt he’ll have plenty of ass-toot commentary about AMC and the whole summer TV season! Post your thoughts and send Ashley happy thoughts right here.

A Boring Whodunit, and a Surprise (from Us!)

• Stuart gets killed, as Chuck Pratt commits another desperate act for the sake of ratings.
• Jesse acts like a real Private Dick.
• Jennifer Bassey's Marian makes us cheer, while J.Lu makes us wanna hurl.
• The whole murder mystery has us rolling our eyes.
• The Young and the Restless anyone? Anyone?

We're back from a brief hiatus folks! And we're about to take another one! We hope you enjoy the podcast, and that it'll all make sense once you get, oh, about 5 minutes in! During our hiatus, Jordan and Shadow will keep everyone busy and buzzing with new blogs (minus the podcast) every week or so for the next month or so. We love our little PVP family, and we hope you'll stick around and keep on posting. We'll be back before you know it, but in the meantime, keep the commentary going this week here.

5/29/09 Podcast

Murder, Mystery, and Misogyny

(Not to mention crazy Emmy nominations!)

• Adam (?) gets killed, and Ian lives to see another day.
• Unfortunately, Aidumb lives to see another day, too.
• Emma and Lil' A continue to be ignored.
• eBabe rocks the screen.

Thanks for your patience, folks. We're so glad to be back! Lots to talk about, so do your thang like you always do here.

5/15/09 Podcast

I'm Pooped

(Not literally, people, but figuratively speaking. To clarify, I feel as tired as Denise Vasi's acting.)

Like Jordan mentioned, I needed a break this week. But we'll both be back in time next week to cover the riveting and shocking developments in Pine Valley! (Uh, the developments aren't really that riveting, but they are shocking - in a not-so-good way - but we'll talk more about that next week.)
For now, perhaps you'll enjoy this oldie-but-goodie: our ass-toot observations on Alex Cambias, Sr.'s first time around Pine Valley, when our little Alicia Minshew had to spend a week as Kendall wkith a hypodermic needle poised to pierce her delicate little neck. (This PVP eppy originally aired on March 9th, 2007.)

And, as always, feel free to share your own ass-toot observations on everything from Nurse Gayle's oversized "Chucky" head to eBabe's (love that Katya!) extremely short pants to JaLu's mercifully brief but overinflated appearances on our little show, here.

3/09/07 Podcast

Super Genius

Chuck Pratt's genius inspires amazing stories this month, like

• The Satin Slayer returns to shock Pine Valley with his terrifying ramblings!
• Liza returns - and she's got a shockingly hot vagina!
• Brot and Taylor sizzle as Brot travels the country making speeches!
• Krystal has a shocking secret - and a surprisingly large PayPal balance!

(Oy.)

You've done it - you've truly inspired us. Between Shadow's now mandatory signoff ("Fire Chuck Pratt!") to Ms. Casey Shameless' (et al!) purposeful use of the "Fire Pratt!" photo to Susan and Elyse's tireless "Fire Charles Pratt!" efforts, we're hoping to inspire a movement. With the help of our uber-talented Louie2K, we'll be promoting FirePratt.com, and we hope you'll spread the word. More on this to come, but for now, we'll take whatever else you've got to say (you know we want to hear it), here.

5/1/09 Podcast

AAARRGGH!!!!

WARNING: THIS PODCAST CONTAINS SCREAMING. PLEASE - DO NOT LISTEN WITHOUT EASY ACCESS TO THE VOLUME CONTROLS ON YOUR AUDIO DEVICES. HEARING LOSS MAY RESULT.

• "Liza" is back, and she's unrecognizable in every way.
• Zach and Kendall are a hot mess.
• Ryass continues to be Ry-assy, while Ins-Annie gets Ins-Annier, and Aidumb gets Aidumber.
• Erica continues to stun us with her fabulousness.
• Brot and Taylor who?

Sorry for the late 'cast this week, folks. Family affairs took away from our podcast time. There's loads to talk about people (dead Chandlers, anyone?), so please: do what you all do best, here!

4/24/09 Podcast

Sex & Tornadoes

• Liza, er, we mean, Jamie Luner, effs her way back into Pine Valley (and it's with Zach, no less).
• Krystal seems back to her old self as she betrays David on the stand.
• Jake's rescue-complex kicks in (or maybe it's just guilt?).
• Jesse and Angie make love. (Ahh... Now that's good soap!)

The folks at All My Children have done it again. They've introduced (or reintroduced) a female character by having her boff her way onto the screen. Is that all Chuck Pratt knows? Sex and tornadoes? A thousand Romans can't be wrong! We're all saying the same thing, people! Is this man just too dazzled by his own "brilliance" that he thinks that his pen shits roses? And somehow, he's gotten the top brass at ABC to believe that. Oy.

If you haven't already, you must check out the Pratt Falls series on YouTube. These brilliant gals are saying it all, and much more brilliantly than we ever could. What do you think? We want more, more, MORE of your thoughts here!

4/17/09 Podcast

He's Baa-aack!

After a 6-month break from All My Children, Taylor Crawford, the co-founder of The Pine Valley Podcast is our guest host this week. (And he's none too excited about the "changes" he's seen.) Among the gems:

• Annie isn't really crazy - it's all her brother's fault that she killed and killed again and again.
• Zach and Kendall are clearly on the outs. (So much so that they kiss this week.)
• David Hayward obsesses over his genetic material, whilst Krystal remains "missing."
• Erica Kane has been to paradise, but she's never been to me.

We didn't discuss on the podcast, but our Chuck Pratthole has been all the buzz on DaytimeConfidential.com. The di&#wad sucked it again: first, he sets up Jamie "No A$$ Kisser" Luner for a huge fall with his stoopit comments, then blames the hot mess of a lesbian wedding storyline on Eden Riegel! What a di&#! What do you think? Let us know, here.

(Huge thanks again to Taylor Crawford for his fun appearance this week. Jordan "Toodles" Hudson will be back next week - it wouldn't be the PVP without him!)

4/10/09 Podcast

72 Seasons of Love

• No, we're not talking about All My Children, but it's relevant: Guiding Light was cancelled this week, and soaps fans everywhere are mourning.

What more is there to say? Guiding Light did everything right as far as we can tell, and the ax still fell. What does this mean for our little show, which doesn't feel very right lately? For more on this and other crazy-ass soap news (Kathy Brier getting fired from OLTL? Alexander Cambias, Sr. coming back to AMC?), go to DaytimeConfidential.com for their amazing daytime coverage, and to AMC Superposter for his amazing AMC spoilers. After you're done reading, don't forget to leave your comments with us. We're not the only ones with ass-toot observations!

4/3/09 Podcast

Did We Miss Something?

• Kendall and Ryan are in love again (in less than a few weeks after Greenlee's death).
• Adam is sick and missing.
• Jesse and Angie are foster parents.
• Frankie and Rancid miss their flight to Hawaii.
• InsAnnie and Aidumb are MIA. (I'm not so bummed about this one, actually.)

Lots of story blanks for the viewers to fill in this week, Mr. Pratt(hole)! I serisouly feel like I'm watching half-asleep. It's getting so bad, I seem to miss even the things that are happening onscreen! Discuss, here.

Thanks once again to Louie2K for his amazing opening themes, to DaytimeConfidential.com for their amazing daytime coverage, and to AMC Superposter for his amazing AMC spoilers. And don't forget: send your questions to us at pvp@pinevalleypodcast.com. We love hearing from you!

3/27/09 Podcast

Cartoon Scenes & Overdone Schemes....

• Ryan has sex with Kendall. (That's fine, though, 'cuz Greenlee said it's, like, totally okay.)
• A-Mam-Da has a totally awesome idea about, like, how to save her kid.
• Yet another custody battle, and this time, David and Krystal are twirling their mustaches.
• Randi. Must. Go.

What else can we say? (Sigh.) I'd much rather talk about our friends: thanks to Louie2K for this week's totally awesome opening theme, to DaytimeConfidential.com for a totally awesome interview last week, and to AMC Superposter for "spoiling" All My Children "so we don't have to!" (Get it?)

Y'all can fill in the rest of the blanks (as you always so capably do) here. (And send your questions to us at pvp@pinevalleypodcast.com. We'll try to answer a few during next week's show - we promise!)

3/20/09 Podcast

We Watched, But We Didn't 'Cast

Sorry, folks. For this week's podcast, I tried to get a substitute for Jordan (who's just finishing up his project), but a) Taylor stopped watching in protest, and b) Pedro claimed he had frostbite. I reminded Pedro that this week NYC averaged 50 degrees, and his Birkies plus light socks would have kept him nice and warm. Then Pedro starting mumbling something about putting together a Janis Joplin decoupage for the Burning Man Festival, and I just gave up because the word "decoupage" has not been covered in the Reader's Digest Large Print Edition yet and I didn't have a sassy answer for him.

But here's the thing: on Thursday, March 19th, Jordan and I are taping our first Daytime Confidential interview! That'll be up sometime this week, I think, and you can find it on iTunes, or just head on over to the Daytime Confidential website.

Speaking of Daytime Confidential, our friend AMC Superposter is now writing and posting AMC spoilers for their website. Of course, the PVP remains spoiler-free, but for y'all who miss them, Superposter will fill in the blanks for you. Go to http://daytimeconfidential.com/2009/03/all-my-children-spoilers-0 for the latest AMC news.

Finally, I'M SICK OF PRATT! (Sorry. I yelled again.) Does he really expect us to believe that Krysal would go along with this Lil' A custody bullcrap? How the eff can Bobbie Eakes act this shit? And doesn't Vincent Irizarry want to throw up every time he reads what David has to do and say? (And did David actually threaten to KILL A-Mam-da? What the????)

Doesn't Pratt know we've seen crap this a THOUSAND times before (and done much better, I might add). It's just too depressing. Please cheer me up folks, here.

(And keep sending your questions to us at pvp@pinevalleypodcast.com. We love them!)

Jive Talkin'

• Adam and J.R. continue to call A-Mam-da 4- and 5-letter words.
• Jerkson jerks his way through his speech for his dead daughter, Greenlee.
• Aidumb mumbles sweet nothings to his spicy new lady friend, InsAnnie.
• Once again, Zach grumbles his way through the Pine Valley Police Station.
• Ryan continues to grit his teeth (and nothing much continues to come out of his mouth).

We're still a little down in the dumps here at the Pine Valley Podcast. Are we being too hard on our little show? You can be honest - we can take it. Let 'er rip, here. (And send your questions to us at pvp@pinevalleypodcast.com. You keep sendin' 'em, we'll keep answerin' 'em!)

3/06/09 Podcast

You Call These Cliffhangers??

• Adam knows Kendall's secret - oh!
• Krystal tells David she wants to marry him - my goodness!
• J.R. sees A-Mam-da embrace Jake - crazy!
• Ryan "cries" over Greenlee - amazing!

Oh listeners.... How quickly things change! From a fairly decent week of daytime drama last week, we get little better than a diaper commercial this week. (Scratch that - I love that Huggie's Pull-Ups commercial!) I'd be depresssed if I wasn't so pissed about it. What do you think? Tell us, here. (And send your questions to us at pvp@pinevalleypodcast.com. We love 'em!)

2/27/09 Podcast

A Ray of Hope

• Reese and Boobianca break up! (World's shortest marriage, anyone?)
• Greenlee is dead (we think)!
• Dr. Shericlair almost dies!
• Kendall tells it like it is!
• Ry-ass grits his teeth!
• Aidumb mumbles!

People! All My Children was good last week! And contrary to what I' m starting to read on our supa-blog, I enjoyed the Oscars, too -- especially the beautiful Melissa Leo and Amanda Seyfried, two very talented AMC alumnae. Let's dish, here. (And keep those questions coming by emailing us at pvp@pinevalleypodcast.com.)

2/20/09 Podcast

Just You and I?

• Bianca and Reese state their vows before the world. (Too bad Reese broke hers before the wedding.)
• Kendall rips that a-hole Zach a new one, and for the first time in months, I'm cheering at the TV screen instead of throwing chancletas at it.
• Poor Greenlee might be dead.
• Rebecca is dead - finally!
• Krystal and David? I just really don't care.

Your ass-toot questions and commentary made my weeks off from all of you bearable! Thanks for sticking with us, and keep the questions coming at pvp@pinevalleypodcast.com. (And feel free, as always, to leave your ass-toot observations on our rockin' blog here.)

2/13/09 Podcast

A Whole New World

• Kendall wakes up -- to a whole new Pine Valley!
• Reese gives her (bitchy) mom what-for -- and Jordan doesn't like it one bit!
• Erica throws a wedding shower, La Kane style.
• AMamDa contemplates the complexities of Roe vs. Wade.
• Krystal and David screw all over David's white couch after Tad throws that heifer out of his house.

More questions, more questions! Anything to get us through this rut that Jordan and I are feeling, courtesy of the latest developments at All My Children. E-mail them to us at pvp@pinevalleypodcast.com, and of course, leave your ass-toot observations here.

1/30/09 Podcast

We All Make Our Beds and We Have To Lie in 'Em

• Kendall gets her damn heart, Josh Madden be damned.
• Erica "mourns" Josh by "weeping inconsolably."
• A"mam"da is preggers, and a "Baby-Daddy" mystery ensues. (And those mammaries will only get bigger as the pregnancy progresses. Yowza!)
• Something happens to InsAnnie where she "holds" Aidan's hand through a vent and Dr. Sinclair yells at her or something.

We're back to the AMC blues, baby. We're frustrated and not-so-hopeful. What will happen to our beloved AMC? To us? Cheer us up, darlings, here.

1/23/09 Podcast

Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right

• Josh Madden goes down, along with All My Children's ratings.
• In a shocking turn of events, Frankie figures out that Randi was a hooker!
• Reese and Boobianca patch things up with an air-kiss.
• Krystal goes cuckoo for Tic-Tacs on the stand!

We had so much fun answering your questions this week! Feel free to keep them coming, and share anything else that's on those beautiful minds of yours, here.

1/16/09 Podcast

I Think I Lust You

• That milk-'ho Krystal sleeps with David, and gets busted for it. (Hallelujah!)
• Amanda sleeps with J.R., and it this case, I'm glad we don't see it.
• Greenlee and Ryan slurp their way through the week, and it ain't pleasant.
• And a special mention to Opal, who gives the Performance of the Week as the Mother Lion protecting her cub, Tad.

We're so happy to be back this week, people! We thought it'd be fun to get as interactive as our not-so-technologically advanced equipment will allow. If y'all happen to have any questions for us, we'd be happy to answer (we think). If not, feel free to go on and post, well, anything else your little heart desires! Either way, do your thing as only you all do, here.

1/09/09 Podcast

Happy New Year!

Yowza, people! Almost 300 posts in the last two weeks!

Since I think we're running out of space on this blog entry, let's just make another entry, shall we? Your ass-toot comments blow us away, and we don't want to miss a-one.

Jordan and I will be back with a podcast up next Monday with oh-so-much to say about the holiday festivities (All My Children and otherwise). Thank you, thank you, thank you for supporting our little podcast this past year, and for all of the love and insight and friendship you have shared on this blog. We don't know what we would have done without you.

Enough sappiness! Krystal Carey -- grieving, confused mother, or lying cheating whoo-ah who doesn't deserve the crud on Tad's shoes? Discuss, here.

Now Who Will Lead Our Carnival?

Now who will lead our carnival? And who will make us stronger?
Who will mend our broken sleep when she is here no longer?

For who's part do we stand and bow? What stories do we tell?
And will we memorize the day when great and greatness fell?

Say will this valley overcome, and will these shadows fade?
And will we lift our eyes to see the beauty that she made?

The disappearing last of her that leads to worlds unknown
Has left a path to softly tread when sadness wanders home.

I'll meet thee where the highland winds divide wild mountain tyne,
Where I will be forever yours and you, forever mine.

This week was our Myrtle week. Though we were mixed on the tribute show last Friday, we were glad to see our great dame honored. But with the gaping hole our Myrtle has left, where will we find the heart of the show? Boobianca's sperm-stealing antics take her out of the running. So who will it be? Maybe a new executive producer will come to the rescue? Lots of rumors, folks, and we know you'll keep all of us posted here. (I know I'll be sure to check out Superposter's blog for all of the latest.)

Have a grand holiday, and we'll see you next year!

12/19/08 Podcast

My Milkshake is Better Than Yours

• Krystal is a 'ho for a mug of hot milk. (I love that line, Norn!)
• Why-oh-why can't Rebecca just die?
• Greens and Ryan continue to bore, whilst InsAnnie continues to delight.
• Brot and Taylor are doing their thing, while poor Jake turns into a misogynistic mess.

First of all, Luis gave us another bangin' PVP intro song -- muchas gracias, Luis! Secondly, I just read the spoilers for All My Children for 2009, and I'm pissed. These folks really don't give a shit about this show -- if you choose to read them, I'm sure you'll agree. What the hell do we do, people? Do a show every week complaining about how bad AMC is? You gotta help us here, folks. Jordan and I want to keep doing this podcast, but this is getting friggin' ri-dick! Help us, please!, here.

12/12/08 Podcast

We (Got) Back!

• You know it's a sad state of affairs when Cameron Mathison's thong is the highlight this week on our beloved All My Children.
• Brot just doesn't love Taylor anymore - so much so, that he's stalking her.
• Krystal is back to her old whorish tricks (and we're diggin' how psychotic it all is).
• Randi and Colby need to go. Period.

We're back! I've been missing y'all -- Jordan's been representin' on the blog, but I'm back now, and for a while until the holidays. Speaking of the holidays, ABC really is trying to get us all into the holiday mood. What would your holiday gift be to the viewers who watch All My Children? I know what my holiday wishes for the viewers would be, but I'd much rather hear yours. Spread your holiday cheer, people, here.

12/5/08 Podcast

Jeepers Creepers!

• David creepily manipulates Amanda.
• David creepily manipulates Krystal.
• Brot's mom reveals her creepy reasons for lying to Taylor (not to mention that she has creepy eyes).
• InsAnnie pulls the ultimate creepy move against Ryan (and I'm kind of glad).
• Jessie and Rebecca are just plain creepy.
• Colby is a creep, period.

I must warn you - the levels on the podcast this week are not good. I set my inputs levels too high by accident, and it gets pretty blown-out in spots. (What can I say, people? I don't got Jimmy Jam helpin' out!) I apologize in advance if I've hurt your ears. One other thing: do yourself a favor, and check out One Life to Live, if you can swing it. It isn't perfect, but it just feels real. Plus, they don't assault the viewer's intelligence on a daily basis. No to mention that they have actual adults on the show, and characters that have been there more than 10 years. Seriously. And all of them can act. They might not be the best lookin' crew, but who cares? Acting before beauty, we always say. (Plus, we ain't so perfect ourselves, if you can believe that.) Finally, whatever you do, please, please, please tell us what's going on in that big brain of yours. We'd love to know, here.

11/21/08 Podcast

You Take the Good, You Take the Bad

The good:

• Reeanca unlimited.
• Brot plus Taylor (but definitely minus Colby).
• Zach (finally) shedding a (manly) tear over his sleeping beauty.
• Aggie Nixon and the "All My Children" prayer.
• Anything Petey Cortlandt.

The (very) bad:

• Anything Cryan, Greenlee, and Aidumb.
• Erica and Adam making out.
• Jesse as a liar.
• Bianca as a liar.
• Colby as anything.

I just wanted to thank you all for your amazing posts whilst Jordan and I recuperated. I also want to give a special shout out to Luis, who continues to provide amazing PVP Theme Song Intros for us. (They are all his work and creation. You rock, Luis!) I don't have much more to add, because you all do it so well. So keep on with your bad selves, and do your thing like only PVP listeners do!, here.

11/14/08 Podcast

Another Week of Good News, Bad News

Let's do the bad news first.

Both Jordan and I had a bad week. I had the stomach flu, and Jordan caught a crazy bug as well. We're both feeling better, but neither one of us was up to a 'cast this week. So sorry to disappoint, but hopefully next week things will be looking up for both of us (and food will be staying down).

The good news? I was actually caught up in this past Thursday's and Friday's episodes! I mean, I didn't nod off once. I swear! Okay, well, maybe the Greenlee/Ryan/Aidumb appearances were an exception, but for the most part? Some real moments of greatness where I felt like, This is my All My Children. The Iraq vets support group? Astounding. Taylor and Jake? Great stuff, folks! Okay, fine - so some of Taylor's temper-tantrums weren't fun, but tell me you weren't crying when Taylor talked about making love to Brot! She's one hell of an actress, that Ehlers! Bianca and Reese? Steamy, people!!! Open-mouthed kissing and all! And Brot? OMFG - I cannot wait to see how this real-life vet blows us out of the water with his story!

I am still pissed about the Zach baby-daddy storyline, the "Jesse We Hardly Knew Ye'" crap, and I really don't know how much more I can take of Randi, Colby, or Carmen-as-hoochie-mama. Not sure these things are surmountable for me, unless they disappear. And I don't have much to say about Annie, because I'm not the fan that y'all are. (Plus, I know the end of the story, and it blows.)

Still, I'm watchin', and I'm so glad that you're still with me, listenin'.

Here's an old PVP eppy which includes mention of the Zarf support group scenes, which was also a golden AMC moment, IMHO.

And don't forget: we live for your comments, people. Keep the discussion going, here.

3/9/07 Podcast

"I'm All Cried Out... Over You."

(Read title caption to the tune of the famous ditty by Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam, and not with Bobbie Eakes portrayal of grieving momma in mind.)

• Krystal "mourns" the death of her daughter, Arabella Carey Chandler.
• David threatens everyone in town. (No wonder our resident Dr. Evil gets it wrong all the time. He lacks focus.)
• Binks gets engaged. (Shouldn't we care a little more about this?)
• Annie does not want to get the police involved in the search for her daughter. It's just not safe. Much better for an unarmed woman to bring $10 million bucks -- in cash -- in a sack -- to a dangerous kidnapper in the seediest part of town. Much safer.
• Kendall is still in a coma. And doing some of the finest acting we've seen on AMC all week. (Ouch. Harsh, right?)

Oh goodness! I wish I had been all caught up on your posts (instead of all cried out at the sinking of my show) before posting this podcast! I'm caught up now, and loving how you all keep it going. (Shadow and n69, you're giving me a run for my money! You boys have me rollin'!) These are troubled times for our show, although, funnily enough, the ratings seem to be holding -- for now. Keep the thoughts flowing here.

10/31/08 Podcast

These Eyes... Aren't Cryin'!

• Krystal says a (not so) tearful goodbye to Arabella Carey Chandler.
• Jake-gyver attempts brain surgery in the dark, and what do you know? It doesn't go so well.
• Ryan and Aidumb survive the tornado. Damn.
• Jesse and Angie are seemingly having communication problems.

It appears as if everyone in Pine Valley is either dead, in a coma, or seriously maimed. But why aren't we here at the PVP feeling the drama? You feelin' it? So far, the reviews are mixed. Help us figure it all out, and keep on hangin' on (as you always do) here.

10/24/08 Podcast

There's A(nother) Tornado in Pine Valley

(Except this one has better special effects.)

Oh, folks. I'm not gonna lie. I've been absent from both the 'cast and the blog this week. Ever since I saw TIIC turn Carmen into a caricature with her catfight with Erica on Wednesday, I haven't been the same. Almost stopped watching right then and there. But we made a commitment to you ("We Watch So you Don't Have To!"), and we're doing our best to keep that commitment. I will hang in this week, because I do think there will be some good, old-fashioned high stakes soap moments in the days ahead (not to mention the fact that I still love doing this podcast for you). So kick back, have a glass of chocolate milk, and give us your ass-toot opinions and commentaries (as you always do) here.

10/17/08 Podcast

P.S. - The Pine Valley Podcast offers our condolences to Laura, who lost her mother-in-law recently. Our best wishes to you and your family, Laura. We're thinking of you.

Somethin' Bad's a Comin'!

• Not sure if you all caught this, but apparently, something very, very bad will happen in Pine Valley. Soon. And it will end the world as we know it. (Didn't that happen in the real world last Monday, folks?)
• Jesse should be fingerprinted. Seriously. He's not our Jesse, folks. Sorry. Nope. It ain't him. Don't believe it. Not for one second.
• InsAnnie, Zach, Kendull, Cryan, Aidumb and Not-Very-Meanlee continue to make us seriously want to drive nails into our eyeballs.
• Petey was awesome!

Yikes. I'm afraid I was harsh this week, folks. It ain't gettin' better, people, and I'm nervous. Not about the tornado, mind you, but the ratings. That's the real cliffhanger! All we can do is try to keep a sense of humor about the whole thing. We hope you'll have a laugh with us, here.

10/03/08 Podcast

More Pancakes and Poetry (Really?)

• In a dazzlingly original display of sexual bravado, Greenlee paints her body in Aidumb's poetry. (We're serious. She does. And it's gross.)
• "Father-of-the-Year" Cryan Lavery makes (V-Tach-free) pancakes for Emma.
• Angie yells.
• Taylor cries.
• Kendull complains.
• Zach sulks.
• Petey scores!
• Randi... well, Randi doesn't do anything, really.

PVP founder and debonair commentator Taylor Crawford joins us this week as AMC chugs along under the direction of Chuckie Pratthole. Chuck is wrapping up old storylines while trying to expand some new ones. We're observing some hits, some misses, and some lost opportunities along the way. As our ass-toot bloggers have noted, history, TPTB, history! Just a little more, please! What else do you want more of? Tell us, darlings, here.

09/27/08 Podcast

Square Peg in a Round Hole

• Greenlee is so calm as to be comatose, and Kendall is someone we really don't even care about anymore.


• Petey gets electrocuted. (Huh? This better be Chuck Pratt's way of getting him to forget Colby!)


• Frankie attempts to comfort a D.B.T.E. Randi. (Actually, we couldn't tell she was sad, bless her heart).


• Annie and Petey continue to delight, but Jackson and Carmen still wanna make us hurl.

Seems like we have wildly divergent opinions, folk. Why are Jordan and I so not excited over recent developments? And as far as what's in the works? We are not amused by what we're hearing! What's your take? Give it to us straight, here.

09/19/08 Podcast

Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right

• Chuck Pratt undoes an "undone" abortion, but pretty much murders the character of Josh in the process.
• Angie and Frankie blow out the speakers on my high-definition television.
• Taylor and Jake and Amanda continue to delight.
• No Tad and Krystal, but less Colby, bless her heart!
• InsAnnie loses her baby, and Melissa Clare Egan gets to do what she does best. (We're loving it.)

I'm so over the Suxtet, but I'm way curious about what InsAnnie will tell Ryan. I'm still avoiding the spoilers, and I think MCE is here to stay, so... What do y'all think? I know you'll tell us, here.

09/12/08 Podcast

Shadow Explorer, YOU ROCK!

I got my file back!! If any of y'all use Windows Vista, download Shadow Explorer, now!

And for any of you who care to listen mid-week to a new podcast from last week, here it is!

(And let's keep the ass-toot commentary going and the opinions flowing here.)

09/05/08 Podcast

This Week, On All My Children!

As some of y'all know, the computer program that I use to record my podcasts broke down around 2 in the morning last night and corrupted my file. (At 2:01 a.m., Ashley broke down.)

But hey, they are bigger things in life to blubber about, so let's talk about The Kids!

Affter being away for a week and not getting a new PVP this week, your ass-toot commentary is needed now more than ever. So come on, listeners -- do your thing like only you can, here!

(And here's a golden oldie to tide you over, too!)

5/26/06 Podcast

Well, We Felt *Something*

• Fletcher was killed by a chick! (We loved it, and I, for one, am loving me some Taylor.)
• "Bella" stunk up the room, but our precious Amanda still came out smelling like a rose.
• Turns out, Jesse couldn't call Angie all those years because he was in the loony bin and couldn't find any quarters lying around.
• Crazy Kathy lights up our lives, and Baby Jenny is a joy.
• Suxtet who? InsAnnie what? (Okay, Jordan will feistily disagree with me on that one!)
• Jerkson and Carmen, however, still make both Jordan and me want to hurl.

I have not been reading the spoilers, but I'm starting to think I should because I'm a little nervous about where our little show is going, and I don't like surprises. What do y'all think? I know you'll let us know, here.

09/05/08 Podcast

First, the Good News...

• We got some SMOKIN'-HOT sex with Amamda and Jake (even if it was way too short a session).
• Devil Erica and Angel Erica was the most delicious we've seen La Kane in at least a year.
• No Trollby!
• InsAnnie gets more insAnnier.
• Angie and Franklin finally call Jesse on the whole "I've-been-on-the-run-for-20-years-but-somehow-I-know-how-to-make-Lamb-Chops-with-a-Moroccan-Spice-Rub-and-Asparagus-Risotto."
• Taylor and Jake, whilst not sexy, get (for me, at least) interesting. If AMC plays their cards right (and so far, I enjoyed what I saw), the Iraq storyline could be another groundbreaker for our little show.

The bad?

• Still too much suxtet.
• Petey's clothing choices. (Someone needs to tell the wardrobe department that Petey's clothes broadcast "dork" the way Stuart's one untucked collar broadcasts "special.")
• Fusion. (Enough said.)
• And last but not least? No new PVP this week.

Sorry, folks. A few of you have sent your loving thoughts our way, and even suggested that Ashley Mendoza needed to take a break every so often. So I've done just that. But I'm posting an oldie-but-goodie for you - in fact, it's our second-oldest episode! One of the first, back in May of 2006. (My how we're grown - we're 27 in SORAS years!) Those of you who have been with us since the beginning will recognize our very own Taylor Crawford. If we're lucky, we'll get Taylor back just in time for the annihilation of Josh's character. Although I'm dreading that particular storyline, I would pay money to hear Taylor say, "I wish I had a plane but I crashed it." (Thanks for the walk down memory lane, Brown Penny!)

I hope you all have a restful holiday (Jordan and I sure will), and we look forward to reading your continued ass-toot observations, here.

5/12/06 Podcast.

Winner or Snoozer?

• InsAnnie gets crazier, but doesn't catfight Kendall.
• Greenlee and Aidumb keep having not-so-hot sex.
• Carmen goes for Jackson, and doesn't get bitch slapped by Erica.
• Fletcher offers Frankie a deal that Frankie would prefer to refuse (and a storyline that I prefer would go away).

I'm losing my patience, folks. I'm sure Esensten and Brown are gone, yet the silliness remains. Please keep me hangin' on - and cheer me up - here.

8/22/08 Podcast

Split Decisions

• Greenlee marries Aidumb, while Ryan re-marries InsAnnie.
• Jack and Erica break, and Erica and Sam make.... small talk?
• During her first week in town, Taylor is all charm (uh, not really) as she graces Jake and Frankie with her presence.
• Amamda continues her personal quest to represent and promote strong women of the world everywhere!

Jordan and I are like two ships in the night this week. Not only did we record our latest podcast in the wee hours of the morning (so no song this week, folks), but we also had very different opinions of the week's events. Our blog is rocking this summer, so I know you'll tell us where you fall on the All My Children Spectrum of Suckiness. Post your thoughts (and maybe some new nicknames), here.

(And a special shout-out of love to Laura. All of our thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time.)


8/15/08 Podcast

It's Better Than a Sleeping Pill!

Is anyone surprised by the developments this week?

• InsAnnie tries to kill Greenlee.
• Greenlee remains oblivious to InsAnnie's craziness.
• Kendall obsesses over Ryan and InsAnnie, but doesn't seem to remember that she has children.
• Fletcher propositions Frankie. (Okay, even we couldn't have predicted the idiocy of this particular turn.)
• Erica looks hot! (Now that is one lady who never bores.)

So glad to be back this week, listeners! The show is a tad slow, but you, our viewers, always delight! Feel free to share your thoughts, opinions, and ideas here. (And Maybe Jordan will share that TV list of his, too.)

8/08/08 Podcast

Apologies

And I'm not talking about the song by Grace Potter and The Nocturnals.

Y'all are heatin' up this blog, and I'm afraid I've brought it all to a screeching halt.

Alas, I was not able to post a podcast this week. No Jesse/Frankie re-enactments, no Erica on a "date" with Sexy Sammy, no Coldby rants, no Blandie "blowups." I will be back next week - I promise, but until then, here's an oldie but goodie for you.

And please, folks, keep the DBTE list, the rants, the ass-toot commentary, the Amamda-Frankie-Jake-ANYONE ideas flowing here! Lord knows that your posts are keeping me tuned in right now, because our lame-duck head writers definitely aren't (bless their hearts).

11/30/07 Podcast

Too Many Teens!

• As our troublesome teens get dumber, Blandie gets evil-er.
• Ryan loves Greenlee, and Kendull tells her so.
• Erica "eats" her first post-jail meal.
• As Angie's weave gets smaller, Tad and Krystal's riff grows.

Julie Hanan Craputhers, Megan McTrash... Just two classic ABC Daytime TPTB that have made our Hall of Shame. We've got a new one to add: for her recent casting brilliance in putting on the canvas a NuColby and a New Randi, Judy Blye Wilson is responsible for many a fast-forward in the past weeks. (Not mine, of course, but I've been tempted.) Trouble is, we don't have a nickname for her. Can you help? Give us your ideas, here.

7/25/08 Podcast

Who's That's Girl?

• Blandie is kicking (Greenlee's) ass and compiling baby names.
• Angie and Jesse worry about that nasty Randy taking their precious Franklin for a ride (literally).
• Ryan rescues Greenlee, but Aidumb gets all the thanks (if you know what I mean).
• Jake is still waiting for his storyline to arrive - and it's coming on July 24th, with the arrival of Beth Ehler's "Taylor."

I'm sort of looking forward to Beth Ehler's coming on as "Taylor," but this reeks of the TPTB wanting a "sure supercouple" in RPG and BE. Is it so sure? I say, this ain't Guiding Light! Let's move on people! Still, who cares what I say. (I'm sick of hearing myself talk.) Tell us what you, our ass-toot listeners, think here.

7/18/08 Podcast

Teenage Wasteland

• The teen scene is killing my AMC dreams, even with the arrival of Petey Cortlandt. How much more can we take??
• Richie is dead, and we really (really) miss him.
• Amanda and Josh might as well be dead.
• Jessie "dicks" out -- playing private detective and cop all rolled into one!
• Greenlee falls from her boat - maybe the richest girl in Pine Valley should upgrade her teeny ride.

No song this week. My damn computer updated itself, and all of sudden it won't let me hook up to Limewire. I'm about to throw the damn thing out the window. Anyway, rather than delay you, our beloved listeners, you're getting a stripped down version of the PVP. I was thinking I'd sing about Richie being gone - maybe Hall & Oates "She's Gone," making it, "He's Gone." Or maybe I would have done the song, "These Eyes," and made it "He Died, We're Crying!" Something like that. You got any ideas for the song this week? I'm exhausted from fighting my crappy computer. Let us know, here.

7/11/08 Podcast

Troublesome Teens & Other Summer Scenes

• NuColby & Co. are up to summer hijinks - too bad we don't care.
• Greenlee, Kendall and Babe go "Extremities" on Richie. (It was kind of weird if you ask us).
• Blandie is full-on evil, letting Richie escape and possibly killing the man. (Gee, you think that's what happens?)
• Jake still has no storyline.

Do we all know what's about to happen? Doesn't it make an already challenged show a little more boring? Tell us what you think of them (the spoilers, of course, and anything else you want to opine on) here.

7/4/08 Podcast

So What?

We all know that...

• Richie's gonna die.
• Blandie's gonna get pregnant with Ryan's baby.
• Aidumb and Greenlee ain't gonna make it.
• Franklin and Randi will hook up.
• NuColby's gonna drive off a cliff and into a sea of boulders. (Oh, wait a minute - that was Greenlee last year. Damn.)

Jordan and I are Debbie Downers this week. With old writers on the way out and a new writer heading in, there's lots of safe (read: boring)transitional crap-o happening right now, if you ask us. With the obvious stuff that's happening, I could write the damn show. (And believe me - I have my talents, but soap writing ain't one of them.) Your thoughts on all this? We know you have 'em, so share 'em here.

6/27/08 Podcast

Appearances Aren't Everything

• Richie appears as if he's getting out of jail, only to realize that it appears that he will be getting his ass kicked by Zach.
• Angie appears as if she's about to slaughter a goat in a Santeria ritual.
• Greenlee appears as if she needs another romp in the sack- with Josh (but we'll take Jake, too).
• The NuColby appears as if she needs acting class.

The Emmys came and went, and our little show, well... Our folks looked fabulous, right? We may not have garnered many of those little statuettes, but our girlsat least looked good, right Judy Blye Wilson? (Oy.) Tell us what you think of the whole dag-gone mess that was the Daytime Emmys for All My Children here.

6/20/08 Podcast

Oh No They Didn't!

Oh yes - they did.

• Dixie and Tad have a final meeting - and the prospects of Jordan's "astral plane" storyline get dimmer.
• Kendall gets whinier, while Zach gets manlier.
• Greens has sex with Josh!!!!!!
• Lily says goodbye.

Since Jordan and I have met, we've had almost not one single disagreement betwixt us - that is, until Liza Colby. What do y'all think? Another great love for Tad - in Liza? Why am I not seeing it? And why am I so fascinated by it? Maybe someone will ask Marcy Smith (formerly Walker) what she thinks in her interview, courtesy of our friend Superposter, or you can tell us what you think here.

6/13/08 Podcast

New Beginnings for Old Flames

• Adam reveals the truth about Kate-thy, so Tad and Adam make nice - for the moment.
• Greenlee gets woe-is-me-wasted, and her ex-dude just may get to bust out some old moves on her.
• "Trailer-Trash" turned "Yummy-Mummy" Babe goes "Brooklyn-Hooker" Babe, and gets herself in a whole mess o' trouble.
• Erica mourns for the loss of... Kendall's secret? (Uh, folks? Knock knock? Julia died last week? Hello??)

Yikes. Despite the decent reviews, Frons knows best, and will soon replace Barbara Esensten and James Harmon Brown with another failed-upward writer, Charles Pratt. Jordan and I pride ourselves on our whip-smart listenership, and we think Chuck could use some tips as he heads to Pine Valley. Please, viewers - give Mr. Pratt your advice (he'll need it) here.

6/7/08 Podcast

A Wedding, a Funeral and a Heavenly Reunion

• Tad and Dixie reunite - in heaven. (Ugh. I mean, it's nice and all, but c'mon, folks! It's not for real.)
• Greenlee finds out that Aidumb cheated on her with Kendall, and proves she's an actress worth her weight in Emmy. (The woman cries over Aidumb daily. That's talent!)
• Colby and Dre continue to amaze with their sparkling dialogue and compelling storylines.
• And on a serious note: our Mini-hands Julia dies this week, and we will truly miss the gem that is our shining Sydney Penny.

In my recent absence, y'all have kept this little blog here abuzz with ass-toot observations and witty banter. And there's oh-so-much more to discuss! Charles Pratt hired, Beth Ehlers chumped, Leven Rambin dumped, not to mention the mourning of the loss of another fine actress from the show. Keep on discussin', folks, here.

5/30/08 Podcast

Jesse and Angie Can Barely See Straight!

(What with dangling on helicopters and all!)

I can barely see straight myself. I was away -- far away -- for a week with my man Carlos, but with no computer, no internet access, no television, nothing. So a) I'm truly sorry I didn't post sooner, and b) I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON ON ALL MY CHILDREN SINCE LAST TUESDAY!

So, loyal viewers, I will be hunkering down for the next 192 hours with your posts and my DVR, and will be feasting on what I'm told is a very, uh, turbulent Pine Valley. I can't wait.

Whilst I'm updating, I hope this PVP classic makes you giggle, and please -- keep those opinions flowing here.

7/13/07 Podcast

Contrived Plots and Foiled Protagonists

• Adam conveniently gets himself committed when he conveniently doesn't hear the team from Oak Haven enter his home.
• Fusion conveniently gets a shipment of hooker dresses that Babe can use to scm Richie's gal-pal.
• Jackson and Kendall conveniently get their cellphones switched, and Jack conveniently answers the phone when Erica calls to say just one more thing to Kendall about her affair with Aidan.
• Ryan conveniently never had a vasectomy. (Actually, that's kind of inconvenient for Ryan, considering how many women in Pine Valley he's had sex with.)

Can you spell C-O-N-T-R-O-V-E-R-S-Y? A brouhaha is arising over the rumors that have Beth Ehlers from Guiding Light taking over the beloved role of Liza. We've got some pretty strong opinions already brewing -- some that even jeopardize the future of our little podcast! (Are you listening to your fans, Jordan Hudson?) Weigh in on the recasting -- and save Jordan Hudson! -- here.

5/16/08 Podcast

The Witching Hour

• Dixie's sexy ghost is haunting Adam, and we're loving every minute of it.
• Aidan and Jake magically make it back to Pine Valley from Africa in under two hours.
• Blandie clearly isn't making any magic with Ryan. (Too bad she and Richie are related, because together, they'd be hot!)
• Warren Buffet makes Opal's heart sing, but he doesn't do much else for our girl, Erica.
• NuColby is a dud. Period.

Taylor's back for what is probably the PVP's 100th episode! He's had fun this week with Miss Dixie, Miss Erica, the Hot-Shot Doctor and the Doofus, and I've had fun having him back this week. Show Taylor some love -- and give your fellow bloggers some of those ass-toot opinions we know you have! -- here.

5/9/08 Podcast

A New Beginning?

• Dixie's back as a ghost -- and we'll take it.
• After a grueling 22 hours in solitary confinement, Sam Woods rescues Erica and gets her a new tube of lip gloss.
• Blandie's up to no good, and viewers everywhere yawn.
• Zach ships Aidan to Africa to rescue Jake Martin. (We, uh, see a pretty good opportunity here to, ahem, clear the path for Jake and Greenlee, Mr. and Mrs. Head Writer.... Just a suggestion, folks.)
• Don't say "no-no" to Ya-Ya -- she's a keeper.

Lots of stuff to talk about. Where do we begin? Mini-Hands Julia rumors, new head writer rumors, Emmy busts, ladybugs.... Our little show has beens so much fun! Do your thing and post your thoughts on it all, here.

5/2/08 Podcast

Things Are Not As they Seem

• Erica Kane has the B5 boys singing her praises -- or so those ABC execs would like us to think.
• Jesse finds an old stuffed elephant in his grave, and we find a lot of b.s. in the various turns this storyline is taking.
• Blandie tries to reel Ryan in with her sweet, understanding ways (with a little Tawana Brawley thrown in for good measure).
• Zach and Kendall kiss and make up -- again, and again, and again, and again....

Okay, so a lot is coming up on the horizon for our little show. Dixie and Greg Nelson will be back for a few eppys, Colby Chandler will grow up almost overnight, and tragedy will befall the citizens of Pine Valley once again. It's almost too obvious who's gonna take the fall, and I'm not happy about the odds against a particular, mini-handed lovely. What have you heard (or not), and what do you think about what you have (or haven't) heard? Tell us, please!, here.

4/25/08 Podcast

Zach's Achy-Breaky Heart

• Kendall gets her infidelity off her chest, and lobs it onto Zach's shrinking heart.
• Angie damn near opens up a can of whoop-ass on both Frankie and Jessie.
• Things are getting back to normal with Blandie and Ryan - Blandie is blander than ever, and Ryan is wussier than ever.
• Adam tells Krystal he loves her, then leaves her.

They got our girl. Depending on who's telling it, Ambyr Childers, who plays our beloved Colby Chandler, is either leaving to pursue other projects, or being recast because she's too damn young for Frankie. I say thank your lucky stars, Ambyr! On to bigger and better things for you, young lady! What do you think about the whole thing? Do your thang, here.

4/18/08 Podcast

Jenny, We Hardly Knew Ye

• Jenny Junior gets a lesson on Jenny Gardner Nelson courtesy of Jesse, and we here at the PVP feel like we're in heaven with her.
• Kendall prepares to tell the actual, real, no-joke-I-ain't-lyin' truth to Zach.
• Blandie fails to hide the divorce papers from Ryan, only to have him ask her for more time. Huh???
• Greenlee gets "the love of her life" back. (Uh oh. Excuse me for a second. I'm feeling sick again.)

Lots of rumors and innuendos this week, folks. We here at the Pine Valley Podcast love a little harmless gossip ourselves, so feel free to add your AMC insights here.

4/11/08 Podcast

Love vs. Honor

• Carmen wusses out on her revenge plan, which means that Erica Kane better do some more quick thinking!
• Blandie seems ready to throw in the towel with Ryan, whilst a babbling Aidan (who is no stranger to babbling) blows it with Greens.
• Jessie and Angie renew their vows, and we're glad they did.

All My Children, or Todos Mis Hijos? Jordan and I begged to differ a little on the, uh, direction of the Erica Kane/Carmen Morales storyline, but y'all tell us what you think, here.

4/04/08 Podcast

Why You Gotta Give Me The Run-Around?

• Erica and Carmen are connected at the wrists and on the run. (Good thing neither one of them has has to go the bathroom.)
• Greenlee gives that ol' Blandie what-for! (And I think Ms. Blandie is gonna give it right back.)
• Baby Ian appears alive, whilst Josh and A-Mam-da should really have the Pine Valley Police looking for them.

It's a free-for-all this week, folks. I'm liking things well enough on All My Children right now -- let's just say that I haven't thrown any shoes at Carlos' high-definition television in a while. Tell us what you think about AMC these days, here.

(And don't forget: if you haven't had the chance to tell TPTB that we need Dixie Cooney Martin alive and well on our show, go to http://www.tadndixie.com for instructions on how to e-mail them all.)

3/28/08 Podcast

Everybody Needs a Hero

• Colby and Frankie run for their lives, as Jessie verbally spars with that kooky Gardner.
• Angie cries all over the new hospital room set, making those white uniforms look a little less bright.
• Babe and J.R. get closer, and Richie gets creepier.
• Ryan still doesn't remember Blandie, but he does remember how to manipulate a woman.
• Carmen Morales shines almost as bright as Erica Kane, and we, for one, can't wait for more.

Okay, folks, so let's talk. The hot news is talk of Dixie Cooney Martin's return to All My Children. Only, for heaven's sake!, she's coming back as a #*&^%#^%%$% ghost!!! Tell us what you think of this crappy idea, here.

3/21/08 Podcast

Carmen's in 'da House!

But Ashley is not. :(

I'm out this week, folks. Sorry, but Carlos had to go visit his mom in Glen Burnie, Maryland, and I'm with him, stuck in the Holiday Inn here with my computer, but no access to a microphone.

And I'm itching, people - itching! My girl, Elizabeth Rodriguez, is on the show, and she is amazing. (And to all a' y'all that want to go ahead and tell TPTB at AMC that Carmen needs a sister, and that you know just who would be perfect for the job, feel free to write in!)

Jordan will be with me next week, but until then, I'm taking a suggestion from you all, and posting and oldie-but-goodie episode featuring me and my beloved former co-host, Taylor Crawford. This one is in honor of Miss Colby Chandler, who always seems to shine in moments of duress. Take a listen, have a laugh (I hope), and - as always - let us know what you think, here.

4/13/07 Podcast

An Ode to Cheating Eskimo Kisses

• Aidan keeps Kendall safe by reciting her poetry.
• Luckily, Ryan's memory loss does not affect his recall for the number for the Pine Valley Airlines.
• Greenlee and Zach "eskimo" kiss?
• Erica foils Sam Woods by going to jail. (That will show him!)
• Blandie and Ryan make love, and this time, I don't fall asleep!
• Jessie yells at Angie, Tad, Frankie and Krystal.

Oh, Aidan Turner! How do we love thee? Let us count the ways! Give us your opinion on Aidan: a talented thespian, or basically beefcake? Discuss, here.

3/7/08 Podcast

I Am Woman!

• The Fusion women show the world their independence - by showing each other their breasts.
• Blandie wins Ryan back - by kicking him to the curb.
• Erica Kane will go to prison! (And she will bring her makeup case this time around.)

Some spirited conversation on the PVP this week, folks! disagree on Blandie--or, uh, "Annie," as Jordan insists on calling her. Did she do the right thing by kicking Ryan to the curb? Did she do Helen Reddy proud, or would Dr. Robin cringe? Ponder, discuss, rant, do what you will, here.

2/29/08 Podcast

We've Got Tonight...

• Jesse and Angie make love, but not future plans, as Jesse insists he has to leave Pine Valley for good.
• Babe and J.R. make love, numerous times, as Richie makes more evil plans. (This one makes Libidozone and poisonous pancakes look like child's play, people.)
• Greenlee and Aidan make love, but thank goodness we don't have to see it.
• Erica makes money, and a new enemy in Samuel Woods, who locks her up for insider trading.

This week on the podcast, I asked Pedro this question and now I'll ask you: for those of y'all who weren't around when Jesse and Angie fell in love twenty years ago, are you as moved by their storyline as those of us who were? Discuss this, and anything else your little heart desires, here.

2/22/08 Podcast

How Many Really Know What Love Is?

• Angie finally sees Jesse - alive - on a train to nowhere. (With that train going in reverse, thank goodness Angie makes it off the tracks alive to see him.)
• Ryan finally realizes that Kendall is a way hotter catch than Blandie.
• Fusion goes "Red" - and I'm red with embarassment at the shameless product promotion of a certain soup company. (It is keeping our little show alive, though...)
• Note to Erica: People of color (and women) can do accounting, too.

I wanna know: in spite of silly haystacks and oddly classic train cars, were you hurtling tears as I was when Jesse and Angie saw each other for the first time? This and anything else you wanna talk about, you do it, here.

2/15/08 Podcast

Love the One You're With

• Ryan has forgotten Blandie, and wants to spend time with Kendall.
• Blandie knows that Ryan doesn't want to spend time with her, so she spends time with Zach.
• Zach worries that Kendall wants to spend time with Ryan, but Kendall is actually stuck on a plane with her unintentional paramour, Aidan.
• Aidan doesn't seem to need to spend all that much time with Greenlee.
• For someone who's so concerend about the danger his loved ones are in, Jesse sure is spending a lot of time around Angie and Frankie.

Taylor Crawford is back on the PVP this week, people! Give Taylor a PVP Shoutout (and perhaps your own PVP thoughts, too) here.

2/08/08 Podcast

The Return of the King

• Jessie's back!
• Ryan seems like his old self again.
• Richie is still alive.
• Blandie is still alive (unfortunately).
• Erica is still alive, despite the fact that she donated a pint of blood to Greenlee. (I do think there is a weight minimum for donating blood, people.)

Lots of "ins" and "outs" folks! Jordan and I differed big-time on our wish-list of characters we wish would return to All My Children. Join in the converstion, and give us your picks, here.

2/01/08 Podcast

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful...

(I don't know why that's my title this week. It just is.)

Listen, folks, technical difficulties this week. So no podcast. Sorry. Please don't hate me. I feel guilty enough without having y'all mad at me, too.

Here's what we're gonna do, though. The show is so good right now (IMHO) that I'm gonna leave it up to y'all to write what I should have covered this week on the podcast.

What would I have covered? I probably would have talked about how much I cry every time I see Angie and Frankie on screen, how much I'm loving OldNuGreenlee, and how RI-DIC-A-LOUS "Charmed" is (listen, if my girl and aSTOUNDing romance novelist Tess Mallory can't get a Hyperion book deal with movie rights and worldwide distribution, ain't no way Miss Kendall can!).

I would not have talked (much) about Colby and Dre nor -- sorry Ms. Lucci -- Erica's "New Beginnings" Jack-a-thon. I would have covered, though, Blandie's dumb new deal with the devil, Ryan's gradual but exciting return as someone who is actually interesting, and the Fusion catfight. (Anytime Ms. Chrishelle Stause lights up the small screen, I'm a happy viewer).

Let's see... Oh, yeah -- Tad and Krystal are boring me to tears, but JR's hair? I would pay money for someone to find a picture of the Battlestar Galactica character that JR looks like! In that black turtleneck and iron-straightened hair and square head!? I love Jacob Young, but I kuh-rack UP every time I get a glimpse of our new man-girl!

I also definitely would have talked about the scab writers, and how I was concerned about AMC until I found out that AMC head writers James Harmon-Brown and Barbara Esensten were the scab writers! (Something about breaking strike for "financial reasons.") People, I'm sort of glad that the show won't gop too far off track, but scabbing? Not cool. I don't buy for one hot minute that these two can't afford to stay out of work. If anything, I bet the return of Rebecca Budig, Debi Morgan and Darnell Williams were all sealed with the news that the head writers would be writing for them. (Just my opinion, folks, just my opinion.) I just think it's crappy that they're scabbing.

But I am loving Jesse's return!! Oh, folks, I haven't cried this hard since Dixie died! (And I didn't actually cry that hard when Dixie died, because when she did, I was mostly pissed.) Everytime Jesse or Angie are on screen, I well up. It's just so amazing having these talented, loving, beautiful people back. I feel like a kid again!

Okay, enough from me! Post your "Podcast" here.

Ashley
xo

Welcome Back!

• "The Real Greenlee" (as those marketing geniuses at ABC prefer to call her) returns to All My Children looking like her old self again.
• Debi Morgan returns as Angie, looking like her very young self again.
• Opal and Palmer make an appearance (but we won't talk about their ages).
• Finally, newcomer Cornelius Smith returns as "Quentin," and we here at the PVP can't wait to see what's next (even though we already kind of know).

Like we said, we here at the PVP can't wait for Jessie and Angie (and "Quentin"). Angie's just about here, and Jessie, well, we'll get him at the end of the week, we think. How do you want to see this unfold? Do you even care? Let us know if we're crazy (or just Jessie-and-Angie crazy), here.

1/18/07 Podcast

Out With the Old, In With the Old

• Hannah goes nuts, tries to kill Kendall, then falls off a cliff with Zach.
• Sabine bravely works her way through what's left of her storyline.
• Ryan goes loopy - and gets interesting again.
• Del? Jonathan? Ava? Sean (sort of)? Anyone there?

Happy New Year, folks! Lots of "New Beginnings" (and Frons-style endings, sadly) are on the horizon for All My Children. Tell us what your wishes are for the show in 2008, here.

1/11/07 Podcast

My stomach feels about as good as Ryan's bleeding head.

I'm a little under the weather after the holidays, folks. Got that dang stomach retrovirus or whatever is going around.

I was hoping to be back in full-force this week, but it may not happen. I'll try to put a show together tonight if I can. Probably solo, but I miss you all and there is lots to talk about.

For now, the real question is: Hannah's rock hard abs -- fierce or frightening? Discuss.

Hope y'all had a Happy New Year!

Ash xo

A Season for Miracles

• Father Clarence helps Tad deal with a colicky baby -- and a stubborn momma!
• Greenlee and Zach get out of the bomb shelter, but only one of them comes out alive! Will Father Clarence save the day?
• And what about Junior? Will his alcohol-fogged memory come back in time to save his hide?
• And what of Josh and Mini-Hands Julia? Maybe Father Clarence can save their storylines!

Speaking of storylines, it's the end of a wacky year for All My Children. With lots of big returns and heated buzz already for AMC in 2008, what are your New Year's wishes for the show? Or have they already come true? You can guess what mine are, people, but you tell us what you think, here.

12/21/07 Podcast

Things are Really Hot on All My Children!

(Too bad it's all behind-the-scenes stuff and not the actual show that I'm talking about.)

• Greenlee confesses her sins - again - as she and Zach remain in the B.S. (that actually stands for "bomb shelter, but the initials are wonderfully appropriate).
• Spike finally gets his cochlear implants (and some shoddy bandages).
• Tad threatens Krystal wth a custody suit (conveniently forgetting that a murderer isn't exactly a better role model for a child than an egotistical psychopath).

But the big news? Of course! Rebecca Budig has been asked to reprise her role as Greenlee, and Sabine Singh has been quietly released from her contract. I don't have to tell you people what to do. You go, here.

12/14/07 Podcast

Genius is Immediate, But Talent Takes Time....

• Zach is taking his time hammering his way out of the bomb shelter (and Greenlee is taking her time hammering his eardrums).
• Kendall is taking time during her husband's disappearance and possible homicide to write a novel.
• J.R. is taking his time in jail, and Ava's taking time to get him out.
• Richie is taking his time in that damn hospital bed, and still managing to wreak havoc without lifting a finger.

So Brian Frons is making waves this week by refashioning Soapnet to include more... movies? Does this give you perhaps a little clue into this maniac's motives? We here at the Pine Valley Podcast encourage freedom of expression. It's the American way. We encourage you to a) please take the time to email all the maniacs at ABC with your feelings, and b) share your missives to the network with us! (We love reading other people's mail!)

12/07/07 Podcast

Apologize to Me

• For putting Greenlee and Zach in a bomb shelter.
• For making Kendall crazy with grief -- again.
• For having Mini-Hands Julia ask Jack out for coffee.
• For having Richie's shrink be just as evil as Richie is.
• For Jack-ass' annoying harshness to Erica whose behavior, after 20 years of romance, should not be a surprise.

(Good stuff, though, with the J.R. back-on-the-booze storyline, Emma meeting her Grandpa, and the old-timers coming back for Thanksgiving.)

What was your favorite moment of the week? Did you have any? Tell us (and cheer me up, please) here.

11/30/07 Podcast

Taking Chances...

• Zach takes a chance on Greenlee's sewing skills.
• Adam and Tad take a chance on togetherness.
• Ava takes a chance on a still drunk (but very honest) J.R.
• Richie and Babe take a chance on Blandie's cooking.

Babe and Richie are getting, uh, closer, I guess. I certainly couldn't tell by their body language, could you? What do you think of their chemistry? I dunno, folks. Personally, I'm not really feeling it. Help me out with your feelings, here.

11/21/07 Podcast

A Confluence of Events

• Zach gets hits by a car driven by
• Richie who has been driving like crazy in Vermont, where
• Greenlee happens to be on the run, when she falls into a gulley in which
• Zach lies unconscious, after he was tossed out of a moving vehicle and into that same gulley by
• Richie who is, by the way, almost certainly evil. (Darn.)

Taylor's back this week, people, and actually is one of the few folks looking forward to seeing what scab writers might do. Give Taylor, and the rest of us, more of your ideas here.

11/16/07 Podcast

Trust Me

• Aidan busts Greenlee out of jail.
• Kendall discovers that she has a conscience.
• J.R. rediscovers cheap scotch.
• Krystal and Adam are PDA-in' all over the place, and Tad doesn't like it one bit.

The writer's strike is in full swing, and this will pose special problems for the soaps. And I'm bummed, because like I said, the show is finally starting to get better. New writers could really put a wrench in the works, but if the strike doesn't end, they're comin'. Any words of wisdom for the scab writers? Give them your tips, here.

11/09/07 Podcast

Strike While the Iron Is Hot!

(Pun intended.)

• Tad and Hannah have sex!
• Ava and Jonny have sex!
• J.R. and Babe have sex!
• And - oh yeah - Kendall frames Greenlee for kidnapping.

Okay, so the writer's strike has begun. This means that the All My Children writing team will not be reporting to work on Monday, November 5th, 2007. With scripts written only until about the middle of December, this could put a serious damper on (what we all have conceded is) the improved writing we've been seeing from the AMC team. I, for one, would much rather see old shows rerun when the well runs dry. A little Greg and Jenny, Angie and Jessie, maybe even Leo and Greenlee... What about an "interim" (read: scab) writing team? Oh, this is all so confusing! Tell us what you think of all this, here.

11/02/07 Podcast

In the Boom Boom Room...

• Kendall takes off with Spike – and a gun!
• Krystal takes a night off – with Adam!
• Tad has a night out – with Hannah!
• Blandie has a date – with a bottle of Clairol!

Dag, people! Just when I thought my dislike of Blandie would keep me going – you know, give me something to rail against when I watch my beloved show taking some tumbles – the girl goes out and does something, well, interesting. She goes and dyes her hair brown. And I hate it, because I love it! She looks (and I never thought I'd say this) hot! And her acting has improved too! What do you think about Blandie's hair? And what the hell am I gonna call her now? (I mean, people, her hair is anything but bland.) Tell us what you think, here.

10/26/07 Podcast

A Week of a Few Surprises!

• Blandie wasn't really shot by Ryan. (Duh.)
• Aidan catches Kendall breaking into Greenlee's apartment. (Doh!)
• Krystal and Adam make out. (Damn!)

I have to admit it, folks. I'm starting to get that nagging "Dag-I-gotta-watch-my-TiVo'd-episode-of-AMC-even-though-I'd-rather-be-watching-The-Salt-n-Pepa-Show" feeling again. So I'll rephrase my question from last week: do you like the show right now? Is it getting better, at least? Please share your thoughts (I need them), here.

10/19/07 Podcast

The Gettin' is Good, We Think

• Ryan gets a gun!
• Blandie gets shot!
• Kendall gets mental!
• Babe gets a nose job!

So it's been a few months now that we've had new head writers in place. What do you think of the job that Barbara Esensten and James Harmon Brown are doing? Opine, please, here.

10/12/07 Podcast

Who Can You Trust?

• Big bad Richie hasn't yet been as big or as bad as Blandie has made him out to be.
• Zach and Hannah get caught with pants on, but with guilt all over their faces.
• Adam apologizes to Krystal for stealing baby Jenny, and Krystal apologizes for, well, nothing at all.
• Zach and J.R. plot – together! – to get Greenlee out of Fusion and into maternity clothes.

So Jordan and I agree (I think): neither of us care to see this particular Greenlee reunite with anyone, let alone with Kendall. Superposter posed the question too, but feel free to weigh in with your own thoughts on this, or anything else, here.

10/5/07 Podcast

Things Aren't What They Seem Down in the Valley!

• Wes ain't who he says he is.
• Hannah ain't who we think she is.
• Blandie ain't as safe as Ryan says she is.
• J.R. is who we'd rather not see him as.
• Ava really is always what she has been, unfortunately.

Question of the week: did anyone really enjoy Greenlee's "detective" work? I mean, isn't it hard to enjoy the goofy hijinks of characters that you don't love to hate, but just simply hate? If you think I'm way off base on this one, you can all tell me all to go to you-know-where, here.

9/28/07 Podcast

Gimme a Break!

(Well, just a little one.)

I'm out this weekend, folks. Out someplace I've barely heard of (Newport, Rhode Island) at a wedding for one of Carlos' homies. Not a whole lot of "flava," if you know what I mean, but man! Them mansions are ridic-a-lous! I highly recommend this place, people.

So I'm sorry to say, no podcast this week, but let's dish on the week instead. Krystal thinks she's busting Adam, but really she ends up testing Stuart's devotion to Marion! (You can't tell me that Stuey didn't feel a little tingly after that kiss Krystal planted on him!) Ms. Erica Kane gets Kendall to take a second look at cochlear implants, and my heart breaks (again) for Ms. Kendall. (That child was gorgeous, people! Cassie de Paiva's son -- she plays Blair on One Life to Live -- looks just like her, and he did a great job playing the deaf child that Erica has on her show.)

What else? Oh, we find out that the guy who held up Babe is Richie, Blandie's brother, and Babe has to go ID some dead guy we all know ain't Richie because we already know that new Babe is gonna have some kind of relationship with this wacko. She works up some tears for the scene after the viewing of the body with Goofy Wes, and I'm just pulling my hair out. (I will not miss Alexa Havins' crying jags!)

Who did I miss? Oh, J.R. gets creepier! This thing with Ava? The kiss? Gross, people, gross. He's turning her into some kind of porn star, and smirking his way through every freakin' show. Oh -- Di made an appearance. (Taylor, you missed out!) Hannah continues to impress me -- although the woman is now half her original size. (Rice and beans, girl, rice and beans!) Plus her hair looked bad on Thursday. Her chemistry with Josh? I ain't feelin' it yet, but I'm hopeful.

The only thing I want to say about Freaklee is that Kendall pretended to be all nice to her, saying that she would reconcile with Greens just so that Kendall could move on. I was about to throw something at the high-definition television because I cannot take a "Kenlee" reunion, but then my girl turned it on! She walks out of Greenlee's apartment after this ridic-a-lous meeting with a smirk and says something like, "She bought it." I am very intrigued by what our girl has in store for Freaklee! (Suggestion: blunt objects are messy, so choose your weapon carefully. You want to make sure you get the job done, girl. You can do it!)

Okay, enough rambling from me. What are your thoughts? Please, keep me going and post them, here.

You Know You've Overstayed Your Welcome When...

• Even Blandie doesn't want to talk to you (Aidan!)
• Even Kendall doesn't want to hold you (Ian!)
• Even a prison shrink wants you out of his office (Ryan!)
• Even Ava won't have sex with you (J.R.!)
• Even Taylor Crawford stops watching!

Yes, people, it's Taylor's last podcast (at least, for a very long time). The man just couldn't take the "gifts" that AMC keeps on giving anymore (and can we blame him?). He's taking a break that he may not ever come back from, and we will miss him. Taylor, we're glad we knew ya'. Your thoughts, folks — any and all — here.

9/14/07 Podcast

A Short - But Kind of Sweet - Week

• Blandie actually reveals her secret (and I'm starting to sort of care).
• Krystal and "Stuart" bond.
• Aidan and Greenlee make love (I care about this only because it means brief but welcome moments of silence from both of them).
• New Troublesome Teens party in Philly (and away from Pine Valley).

It's been a sweet week for the most part in Pine Valley, but it will be sweeter next week when Taylor Crawford returns for what may be his final appearance on the Podcast. Send Taylor your thoughts and best wishes, here.

9/7/07 Podcast

An Action-Packed Week?

• Tad kisses Krystal!
• Kendall spikes Spike's juice box!
• Zach kangaroos Ian!
• Blandies makes love to Ryan! (Just so you know, the exclamation point on the end of this headline is a stretch, people.)

Okay, so Blandie still has a secret. I think I know what it is (although I haven't read any spoilers), but the real question is, do you care? Let us know, here.

8/31/07 Podcast

It's All Starting to Unravel (Slowly....)

• In her grief for her children, Kendall pulls a Bianca. (I know you all remember when Bianca took "Bess" people!)
• Ava pulls a Madonna and kisses Amamda (except it's half as sexy).
• Jamie pulls a Jake, and Babe conveniently remembers that she loves him.

So Pedro gets his wish! His question is (and it's a good one), in an "act-off," who wins? Aspiring Aidan? or Jumpin' Jackson? You decide, please, here.

8/25/07 Podcast

Back to Basics

• Kendall takes off in a desperate attempt to save Spike's hearing, while Ian is fighting for his life.
• Zach gives Ryan what-for.
• Greenlee gets drunk (before even taking a swig), and screws things up for Kendall even more.
• Jack and Erica make love on the floor, and get divorced minutes later.

We're feeling optimistic about the show this week. Not a blockbuster week, but some really nice things are starting to happen, people! Do you agree? Your thoughts please, as always, here.

8/17/07 Podcast

There's Plenty of Blame to Go Around, People...

Baby Spike is deaf, and Baby Ian fights for his life, as

• Kendall blames herself for poor decision making.
• Ryan blames Greenlee, but still loves her?
• Zach blames the Cambias Curse.
• Blandie thinks about herself, and worries about losing her family over some dark secret nobody really gives a s#*$ about.

So we're confused, folks. Are you digging the Summer of Devastating Sadness, or are you about to toss your TiVo out the Window, like Terry and Stacy? (Taylor may be joining them soon!) Please opine, here.

8/10/07 Podcast

We Watch So You Don't Have To...

But not last week. Sort of.

While we did watch the show, Taylor and I dropped the ball on our little podcast this week due to competing vacation time off.

So I'll be back next week, and Taylor (who is vacationing in Dubuque, Iowa with his not-so-healthy great aunt Ouisa) will be back sometime after Labor Day.

Until then, let's not dish on Erica's neck (c'mon, people - the woman is 61 years old and better looking than most 30 year-olds I know!), and dish a little more on the amazing talent that is Alicia Minshew, and the amazing wonder that Sabine Singh has a three-year contract.

Your thoughts, folks, here.

GREENLEE AND SPIKE DRIVE OFF A CLIFF 20 FEET FROM THE GROUND AND INTO A SEA OF BOULDERS, AND THEY LIVE!

That's it. Nothing else really needs to be covered.

Many of you wrote us wanting to know what we thought about the show this week. Now that you know what we think, what do you think? Tell us, please, here.

7/27/07 Podcast

There IS a Mountain High Enough....

to keep us from watching All My Children. Like

• Kendall on the verge of another premature birth
• Diet Greenlee 5 days a week
• Jackson not knowing his own daughter's cell phone number
• Not enough Josh
• More Erica and Jack "Divorce Show" antics

(At least we got a little more sexiness from Ava and Jonny.)

We've had a couple of defections from the show this week. Are you still watching All My Children? Tell us what, to quote an even more appropriate song, keeps you hangin' on, here.

7/20/07 Podcast

It's Slutmetric!

• Ava and Jonny get horizontal.
• Much to our chagrin, Greenlee and Josh remain (somewhat) vertical.
• Amanda and J.R. go neither horizontal nor vertical, but are still the hottest couple on AMC right now.

If you've listened to the podcast this week, you know what our question of the week is. Discuss Aidan (or Aiden) if you will, here, please.

7/13/07 Podcast

A Game of Trust...

Trust us. We ain't buyin' it.

• A Fourth of July spent indoors in the office?
• Ryan really cares about Greenlee?
• Blandie looks crappy with freckles?
• Erica and Jackson are hot?

Okay, so this is, like, the umpteenth week we've been a little down on the show. What do we actually like about AMC right now? Help us out, folks, here.

7/6/07 Podcast

I Want My Money Back!

• J.R. figures out that Zach has Adam's $100 million that Adam borrowed from Zach to pay J.R.'s ransom, so really it's Zach's money that J.R. is looking for, only Adam doesn't know that J.R. is looking for Zach's money, Adam thinks it's his money because, well, Zach loaned it to him and so Adam's trying to get back the money that he borrowed from Zach so that he can pay it back to Zach, and then Adam won't have to give Zach all of his property and Chandler Enterprises and everything else that Adam owns, including Colby's prom dress, and J.R. is trying to get the money back because J.R. doesn't want Adam to know that he faked his own kidnapping, nor does he want Adam to lose everything Adam owns, including Colby's prom dress, and most of all, J.R. really doesn't want to lose Chandler Enterprises, which, at $100 mil, is a pretty good deal for Zach and a pretty insulting deal for the Chandlers.
  
  
• Erica and Jack make love.

Okay, so I'm feeling a little guilty about my "BlAnndie"/"Spray-TAnnie" rant. Am I the only one out there who just can't take this woman? Can you people please tell me what you think about her once and for all? I mean, am I crazy? Opine, please, here.

6/29/07 Podcast