More Pancakes and Poetry (Really?)

• In a dazzlingly original display of sexual bravado, Greenlee paints her body in Aidumb's poetry. (We're serious. She does. And it's gross.)
• "Father-of-the-Year" Cryan Lavery makes (V-Tach-free) pancakes for Emma.
• Angie yells.
• Taylor cries.
• Kendull complains.
• Zach sulks.
• Petey scores!
• Randi... well, Randi doesn't do anything, really.

PVP founder and debonair commentator Taylor Crawford joins us this week as AMC chugs along under the direction of Chuckie Pratthole. Chuck is wrapping up old storylines while trying to expand some new ones. We're observing some hits, some misses, and some lost opportunities along the way. As our ass-toot bloggers have noted, history, TPTB, history! Just a little more, please! What else do you want more of? Tell us, darlings, here.

09/27/08 Podcast

Square Peg in a Round Hole

• Greenlee is so calm as to be comatose, and Kendall is someone we really don't even care about anymore.


• Petey gets electrocuted. (Huh? This better be Chuck Pratt's way of getting him to forget Colby!)


• Frankie attempts to comfort a D.B.T.E. Randi. (Actually, we couldn't tell she was sad, bless her heart).


• Annie and Petey continue to delight, but Jackson and Carmen still wanna make us hurl.

Seems like we have wildly divergent opinions, folk. Why are Jordan and I so not excited over recent developments? And as far as what's in the works? We are not amused by what we're hearing! What's your take? Give it to us straight, here.

09/19/08 Podcast

Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right

• Chuck Pratt undoes an "undone" abortion, but pretty much murders the character of Josh in the process.
• Angie and Frankie blow out the speakers on my high-definition television.
• Taylor and Jake and Amanda continue to delight.
• No Tad and Krystal, but less Colby, bless her heart!
• InsAnnie loses her baby, and Melissa Clare Egan gets to do what she does best. (We're loving it.)

I'm so over the Suxtet, but I'm way curious about what InsAnnie will tell Ryan. I'm still avoiding the spoilers, and I think MCE is here to stay, so... What do y'all think? I know you'll tell us, here.

09/12/08 Podcast

Shadow Explorer, YOU ROCK!

I got my file back!! If any of y'all use Windows Vista, download Shadow Explorer, now!

And for any of you who care to listen mid-week to a new podcast from last week, here it is!

(And let's keep the ass-toot commentary going and the opinions flowing here.)

09/05/08 Podcast

This Week, On All My Children!

As some of y'all know, the computer program that I use to record my podcasts broke down around 2 in the morning last night and corrupted my file. (At 2:01 a.m., Ashley broke down.)

But hey, they are bigger things in life to blubber about, so let's talk about The Kids!

Affter being away for a week and not getting a new PVP this week, your ass-toot commentary is needed now more than ever. So come on, listeners -- do your thing like only you can, here!

(And here's a golden oldie to tide you over, too!)

5/26/06 Podcast

Well, We Felt *Something*

• Fletcher was killed by a chick! (We loved it, and I, for one, am loving me some Taylor.)
• "Bella" stunk up the room, but our precious Amanda still came out smelling like a rose.
• Turns out, Jesse couldn't call Angie all those years because he was in the loony bin and couldn't find any quarters lying around.
• Crazy Kathy lights up our lives, and Baby Jenny is a joy.
• Suxtet who? InsAnnie what? (Okay, Jordan will feistily disagree with me on that one!)
• Jerkson and Carmen, however, still make both Jordan and me want to hurl.

I have not been reading the spoilers, but I'm starting to think I should because I'm a little nervous about where our little show is going, and I don't like surprises. What do y'all think? I know you'll let us know, here.

09/05/08 Podcast

First, the Good News...

• We got some SMOKIN'-HOT sex with Amamda and Jake (even if it was way too short a session).
• Devil Erica and Angel Erica was the most delicious we've seen La Kane in at least a year.
• No Trollby!
• InsAnnie gets more insAnnier.
• Angie and Franklin finally call Jesse on the whole "I've-been-on-the-run-for-20-years-but-somehow-I-know-how-to-make-Lamb-Chops-with-a-Moroccan-Spice-Rub-and-Asparagus-Risotto."
• Taylor and Jake, whilst not sexy, get (for me, at least) interesting. If AMC plays their cards right (and so far, I enjoyed what I saw), the Iraq storyline could be another groundbreaker for our little show.

The bad?

• Still too much suxtet.
• Petey's clothing choices. (Someone needs to tell the wardrobe department that Petey's clothes broadcast "dork" the way Stuart's one untucked collar broadcasts "special.")
• Fusion. (Enough said.)
• And last but not least? No new PVP this week.

Sorry, folks. A few of you have sent your loving thoughts our way, and even suggested that Ashley Mendoza needed to take a break every so often. So I've done just that. But I'm posting an oldie-but-goodie for you - in fact, it's our second-oldest episode! One of the first, back in May of 2006. (My how we're grown - we're 27 in SORAS years!) Those of you who have been with us since the beginning will recognize our very own Taylor Crawford. If we're lucky, we'll get Taylor back just in time for the annihilation of Josh's character. Although I'm dreading that particular storyline, I would pay money to hear Taylor say, "I wish I had a plane but I crashed it." (Thanks for the walk down memory lane, Brown Penny!)

I hope you all have a restful holiday (Jordan and I sure will), and we look forward to reading your continued ass-toot observations, here.

5/12/06 Podcast.

Winner or Snoozer?

• InsAnnie gets crazier, but doesn't catfight Kendall.
• Greenlee and Aidumb keep having not-so-hot sex.
• Carmen goes for Jackson, and doesn't get bitch slapped by Erica.
• Fletcher offers Frankie a deal that Frankie would prefer to refuse (and a storyline that I prefer would go away).

I'm losing my patience, folks. I'm sure Esensten and Brown are gone, yet the silliness remains. Please keep me hangin' on - and cheer me up - here.

8/22/08 Podcast

Split Decisions

• Greenlee marries Aidumb, while Ryan re-marries InsAnnie.
• Jack and Erica break, and Erica and Sam make.... small talk?
• During her first week in town, Taylor is all charm (uh, not really) as she graces Jake and Frankie with her presence.
• Amamda continues her personal quest to represent and promote strong women of the world everywhere!

Jordan and I are like two ships in the night this week. Not only did we record our latest podcast in the wee hours of the morning (so no song this week, folks), but we also had very different opinions of the week's events. Our blog is rocking this summer, so I know you'll tell us where you fall on the All My Children Spectrum of Suckiness. Post your thoughts (and maybe some new nicknames), here.

(And a special shout-out of love to Laura. All of our thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time.)


8/15/08 Podcast

It's Better Than a Sleeping Pill!

Is anyone surprised by the developments this week?

• InsAnnie tries to kill Greenlee.
• Greenlee remains oblivious to InsAnnie's craziness.
• Kendall obsesses over Ryan and InsAnnie, but doesn't seem to remember that she has children.
• Fletcher propositions Frankie. (Okay, even we couldn't have predicted the idiocy of this particular turn.)
• Erica looks hot! (Now that is one lady who never bores.)

So glad to be back this week, listeners! The show is a tad slow, but you, our viewers, always delight! Feel free to share your thoughts, opinions, and ideas here. (And Maybe Jordan will share that TV list of his, too.)

8/08/08 Podcast

Apologies

And I'm not talking about the song by Grace Potter and The Nocturnals.

Y'all are heatin' up this blog, and I'm afraid I've brought it all to a screeching halt.

Alas, I was not able to post a podcast this week. No Jesse/Frankie re-enactments, no Erica on a "date" with Sexy Sammy, no Coldby rants, no Blandie "blowups." I will be back next week - I promise, but until then, here's an oldie but goodie for you.

And please, folks, keep the DBTE list, the rants, the ass-toot commentary, the Amamda-Frankie-Jake-ANYONE ideas flowing here! Lord knows that your posts are keeping me tuned in right now, because our lame-duck head writers definitely aren't (bless their hearts).

11/30/07 Podcast

Too Many Teens!

• As our troublesome teens get dumber, Blandie gets evil-er.
• Ryan loves Greenlee, and Kendull tells her so.
• Erica "eats" her first post-jail meal.
• As Angie's weave gets smaller, Tad and Krystal's riff grows.

Julie Hanan Craputhers, Megan McTrash... Just two classic ABC Daytime TPTB that have made our Hall of Shame. We've got a new one to add: for her recent casting brilliance in putting on the canvas a NuColby and a New Randi, Judy Blye Wilson is responsible for many a fast-forward in the past weeks. (Not mine, of course, but I've been tempted.) Trouble is, we don't have a nickname for her. Can you help? Give us your ideas, here.

7/25/08 Podcast

Who's That's Girl?

• Blandie is kicking (Greenlee's) ass and compiling baby names.
• Angie and Jesse worry about that nasty Randy taking their precious Franklin for a ride (literally).
• Ryan rescues Greenlee, but Aidumb gets all the thanks (if you know what I mean).
• Jake is still waiting for his storyline to arrive - and it's coming on July 24th, with the arrival of Beth Ehler's "Taylor."

I'm sort of looking forward to Beth Ehler's coming on as "Taylor," but this reeks of the TPTB wanting a "sure supercouple" in RPG and BE. Is it so sure? I say, this ain't Guiding Light! Let's move on people! Still, who cares what I say. (I'm sick of hearing myself talk.) Tell us what you, our ass-toot listeners, think here.

7/18/08 Podcast

Teenage Wasteland

• The teen scene is killing my AMC dreams, even with the arrival of Petey Cortlandt. How much more can we take??
• Richie is dead, and we really (really) miss him.
• Amanda and Josh might as well be dead.
• Jessie "dicks" out -- playing private detective and cop all rolled into one!
• Greenlee falls from her boat - maybe the richest girl in Pine Valley should upgrade her teeny ride.

No song this week. My damn computer updated itself, and all of sudden it won't let me hook up to Limewire. I'm about to throw the damn thing out the window. Anyway, rather than delay you, our beloved listeners, you're getting a stripped down version of the PVP. I was thinking I'd sing about Richie being gone - maybe Hall & Oates "She's Gone," making it, "He's Gone." Or maybe I would have done the song, "These Eyes," and made it "He Died, We're Crying!" Something like that. You got any ideas for the song this week? I'm exhausted from fighting my crappy computer. Let us know, here.

7/11/08 Podcast

Troublesome Teens & Other Summer Scenes

• NuColby & Co. are up to summer hijinks - too bad we don't care.
• Greenlee, Kendall and Babe go "Extremities" on Richie. (It was kind of weird if you ask us).
• Blandie is full-on evil, letting Richie escape and possibly killing the man. (Gee, you think that's what happens?)
• Jake still has no storyline.

Do we all know what's about to happen? Doesn't it make an already challenged show a little more boring? Tell us what you think of them (the spoilers, of course, and anything else you want to opine on) here.

7/4/08 Podcast

So What?

We all know that...

• Richie's gonna die.
• Blandie's gonna get pregnant with Ryan's baby.
• Aidumb and Greenlee ain't gonna make it.
• Franklin and Randi will hook up.
• NuColby's gonna drive off a cliff and into a sea of boulders. (Oh, wait a minute - that was Greenlee last year. Damn.)

Jordan and I are Debbie Downers this week. With old writers on the way out and a new writer heading in, there's lots of safe (read: boring)transitional crap-o happening right now, if you ask us. With the obvious stuff that's happening, I could write the damn show. (And believe me - I have my talents, but soap writing ain't one of them.) Your thoughts on all this? We know you have 'em, so share 'em here.

6/27/08 Podcast

Appearances Aren't Everything

• Richie appears as if he's getting out of jail, only to realize that it appears that he will be getting his ass kicked by Zach.
• Angie appears as if she's about to slaughter a goat in a Santeria ritual.
• Greenlee appears as if she needs another romp in the sack- with Josh (but we'll take Jake, too).
• The NuColby appears as if she needs acting class.

The Emmys came and went, and our little show, well... Our folks looked fabulous, right? We may not have garnered many of those little statuettes, but our girlsat least looked good, right Judy Blye Wilson? (Oy.) Tell us what you think of the whole dag-gone mess that was the Daytime Emmys for All My Children here.

6/20/08 Podcast

Oh No They Didn't!

Oh yes - they did.

• Dixie and Tad have a final meeting - and the prospects of Jordan's "astral plane" storyline get dimmer.
• Kendall gets whinier, while Zach gets manlier.
• Greens has sex with Josh!!!!!!
• Lily says goodbye.

Since Jordan and I have met, we've had almost not one single disagreement betwixt us - that is, until Liza Colby. What do y'all think? Another great love for Tad - in Liza? Why am I not seeing it? And why am I so fascinated by it? Maybe someone will ask Marcy Smith (formerly Walker) what she thinks in her interview, courtesy of our friend Superposter, or you can tell us what you think here.

6/13/08 Podcast

New Beginnings for Old Flames

• Adam reveals the truth about Kate-thy, so Tad and Adam make nice - for the moment.
• Greenlee gets woe-is-me-wasted, and her ex-dude just may get to bust out some old moves on her.
• "Trailer-Trash" turned "Yummy-Mummy" Babe goes "Brooklyn-Hooker" Babe, and gets herself in a whole mess o' trouble.
• Erica mourns for the loss of... Kendall's secret? (Uh, folks? Knock knock? Julia died last week? Hello??)

Yikes. Despite the decent reviews, Frons knows best, and will soon replace Barbara Esensten and James Harmon Brown with another failed-upward writer, Charles Pratt. Jordan and I pride ourselves on our whip-smart listenership, and we think Chuck could use some tips as he heads to Pine Valley. Please, viewers - give Mr. Pratt your advice (he'll need it) here.

6/7/08 Podcast

A Wedding, a Funeral and a Heavenly Reunion

• Tad and Dixie reunite - in heaven. (Ugh. I mean, it's nice and all, but c'mon, folks! It's not for real.)
• Greenlee finds out that Aidumb cheated on her with Kendall, and proves she's an actress worth her weight in Emmy. (The woman cries over Aidumb daily. That's talent!)
• Colby and Dre continue to amaze with their sparkling dialogue and compelling storylines.
• And on a serious note: our Mini-hands Julia dies this week, and we will truly miss the gem that is our shining Sydney Penny.

In my recent absence, y'all have kept this little blog here abuzz with ass-toot observations and witty banter. And there's oh-so-much more to discuss! Charles Pratt hired, Beth Ehlers chumped, Leven Rambin dumped, not to mention the mourning of the loss of another fine actress from the show. Keep on discussin', folks, here.

5/30/08 Podcast