So What?

We all know that...

• Richie's gonna die.
• Blandie's gonna get pregnant with Ryan's baby.
• Aidumb and Greenlee ain't gonna make it.
• Franklin and Randi will hook up.
• NuColby's gonna drive off a cliff and into a sea of boulders. (Oh, wait a minute - that was Greenlee last year. Damn.)

Jordan and I are Debbie Downers this week. With old writers on the way out and a new writer heading in, there's lots of safe (read: boring)transitional crap-o happening right now, if you ask us. With the obvious stuff that's happening, I could write the damn show. (And believe me - I have my talents, but soap writing ain't one of them.) Your thoughts on all this? We know you have 'em, so share 'em here.

6/27/08 Podcast

Appearances Aren't Everything

• Richie appears as if he's getting out of jail, only to realize that it appears that he will be getting his ass kicked by Zach.
• Angie appears as if she's about to slaughter a goat in a Santeria ritual.
• Greenlee appears as if she needs another romp in the sack- with Josh (but we'll take Jake, too).
• The NuColby appears as if she needs acting class.

The Emmys came and went, and our little show, well... Our folks looked fabulous, right? We may not have garnered many of those little statuettes, but our girlsat least looked good, right Judy Blye Wilson? (Oy.) Tell us what you think of the whole dag-gone mess that was the Daytime Emmys for All My Children here.

6/20/08 Podcast

Oh No They Didn't!

Oh yes - they did.

• Dixie and Tad have a final meeting - and the prospects of Jordan's "astral plane" storyline get dimmer.
• Kendall gets whinier, while Zach gets manlier.
• Greens has sex with Josh!!!!!!
• Lily says goodbye.

Since Jordan and I have met, we've had almost not one single disagreement betwixt us - that is, until Liza Colby. What do y'all think? Another great love for Tad - in Liza? Why am I not seeing it? And why am I so fascinated by it? Maybe someone will ask Marcy Smith (formerly Walker) what she thinks in her interview, courtesy of our friend Superposter, or you can tell us what you think here.

6/13/08 Podcast

New Beginnings for Old Flames

• Adam reveals the truth about Kate-thy, so Tad and Adam make nice - for the moment.
• Greenlee gets woe-is-me-wasted, and her ex-dude just may get to bust out some old moves on her.
• "Trailer-Trash" turned "Yummy-Mummy" Babe goes "Brooklyn-Hooker" Babe, and gets herself in a whole mess o' trouble.
• Erica mourns for the loss of... Kendall's secret? (Uh, folks? Knock knock? Julia died last week? Hello??)

Yikes. Despite the decent reviews, Frons knows best, and will soon replace Barbara Esensten and James Harmon Brown with another failed-upward writer, Charles Pratt. Jordan and I pride ourselves on our whip-smart listenership, and we think Chuck could use some tips as he heads to Pine Valley. Please, viewers - give Mr. Pratt your advice (he'll need it) here.

6/7/08 Podcast

A Wedding, a Funeral and a Heavenly Reunion

• Tad and Dixie reunite - in heaven. (Ugh. I mean, it's nice and all, but c'mon, folks! It's not for real.)
• Greenlee finds out that Aidumb cheated on her with Kendall, and proves she's an actress worth her weight in Emmy. (The woman cries over Aidumb daily. That's talent!)
• Colby and Dre continue to amaze with their sparkling dialogue and compelling storylines.
• And on a serious note: our Mini-hands Julia dies this week, and we will truly miss the gem that is our shining Sydney Penny.

In my recent absence, y'all have kept this little blog here abuzz with ass-toot observations and witty banter. And there's oh-so-much more to discuss! Charles Pratt hired, Beth Ehlers chumped, Leven Rambin dumped, not to mention the mourning of the loss of another fine actress from the show. Keep on discussin', folks, here.

5/30/08 Podcast

Jesse and Angie Can Barely See Straight!

(What with dangling on helicopters and all!)

I can barely see straight myself. I was away -- far away -- for a week with my man Carlos, but with no computer, no internet access, no television, nothing. So a) I'm truly sorry I didn't post sooner, and b) I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON ON ALL MY CHILDREN SINCE LAST TUESDAY!

So, loyal viewers, I will be hunkering down for the next 192 hours with your posts and my DVR, and will be feasting on what I'm told is a very, uh, turbulent Pine Valley. I can't wait.

Whilst I'm updating, I hope this PVP classic makes you giggle, and please -- keep those opinions flowing here.

7/13/07 Podcast

Contrived Plots and Foiled Protagonists

• Adam conveniently gets himself committed when he conveniently doesn't hear the team from Oak Haven enter his home.
• Fusion conveniently gets a shipment of hooker dresses that Babe can use to scm Richie's gal-pal.
• Jackson and Kendall conveniently get their cellphones switched, and Jack conveniently answers the phone when Erica calls to say just one more thing to Kendall about her affair with Aidan.
• Ryan conveniently never had a vasectomy. (Actually, that's kind of inconvenient for Ryan, considering how many women in Pine Valley he's had sex with.)

Can you spell C-O-N-T-R-O-V-E-R-S-Y? A brouhaha is arising over the rumors that have Beth Ehlers from Guiding Light taking over the beloved role of Liza. We've got some pretty strong opinions already brewing -- some that even jeopardize the future of our little podcast! (Are you listening to your fans, Jordan Hudson?) Weigh in on the recasting -- and save Jordan Hudson! -- here.

5/16/08 Podcast

The Witching Hour

• Dixie's sexy ghost is haunting Adam, and we're loving every minute of it.
• Aidan and Jake magically make it back to Pine Valley from Africa in under two hours.
• Blandie clearly isn't making any magic with Ryan. (Too bad she and Richie are related, because together, they'd be hot!)
• Warren Buffet makes Opal's heart sing, but he doesn't do much else for our girl, Erica.
• NuColby is a dud. Period.

Taylor's back for what is probably the PVP's 100th episode! He's had fun this week with Miss Dixie, Miss Erica, the Hot-Shot Doctor and the Doofus, and I've had fun having him back this week. Show Taylor some love -- and give your fellow bloggers some of those ass-toot opinions we know you have! -- here.

5/9/08 Podcast

A New Beginning?

• Dixie's back as a ghost -- and we'll take it.
• After a grueling 22 hours in solitary confinement, Sam Woods rescues Erica and gets her a new tube of lip gloss.
• Blandie's up to no good, and viewers everywhere yawn.
• Zach ships Aidan to Africa to rescue Jake Martin. (We, uh, see a pretty good opportunity here to, ahem, clear the path for Jake and Greenlee, Mr. and Mrs. Head Writer.... Just a suggestion, folks.)
• Don't say "no-no" to Ya-Ya -- she's a keeper.

Lots of stuff to talk about. Where do we begin? Mini-Hands Julia rumors, new head writer rumors, Emmy busts, ladybugs.... Our little show has beens so much fun! Do your thing and post your thoughts on it all, here.

5/2/08 Podcast

Things Are Not As they Seem

• Erica Kane has the B5 boys singing her praises -- or so those ABC execs would like us to think.
• Jesse finds an old stuffed elephant in his grave, and we find a lot of b.s. in the various turns this storyline is taking.
• Blandie tries to reel Ryan in with her sweet, understanding ways (with a little Tawana Brawley thrown in for good measure).
• Zach and Kendall kiss and make up -- again, and again, and again, and again....

Okay, so a lot is coming up on the horizon for our little show. Dixie and Greg Nelson will be back for a few eppys, Colby Chandler will grow up almost overnight, and tragedy will befall the citizens of Pine Valley once again. It's almost too obvious who's gonna take the fall, and I'm not happy about the odds against a particular, mini-handed lovely. What have you heard (or not), and what do you think about what you have (or haven't) heard? Tell us, please!, here.

4/25/08 Podcast

Zach's Achy-Breaky Heart

• Kendall gets her infidelity off her chest, and lobs it onto Zach's shrinking heart.
• Angie damn near opens up a can of whoop-ass on both Frankie and Jessie.
• Things are getting back to normal with Blandie and Ryan - Blandie is blander than ever, and Ryan is wussier than ever.
• Adam tells Krystal he loves her, then leaves her.

They got our girl. Depending on who's telling it, Ambyr Childers, who plays our beloved Colby Chandler, is either leaving to pursue other projects, or being recast because she's too damn young for Frankie. I say thank your lucky stars, Ambyr! On to bigger and better things for you, young lady! What do you think about the whole thing? Do your thang, here.

4/18/08 Podcast

Jenny, We Hardly Knew Ye

• Jenny Junior gets a lesson on Jenny Gardner Nelson courtesy of Jesse, and we here at the PVP feel like we're in heaven with her.
• Kendall prepares to tell the actual, real, no-joke-I-ain't-lyin' truth to Zach.
• Blandie fails to hide the divorce papers from Ryan, only to have him ask her for more time. Huh???
• Greenlee gets "the love of her life" back. (Uh oh. Excuse me for a second. I'm feeling sick again.)

Lots of rumors and innuendos this week, folks. We here at the Pine Valley Podcast love a little harmless gossip ourselves, so feel free to add your AMC insights here.

4/11/08 Podcast

Love vs. Honor

• Carmen wusses out on her revenge plan, which means that Erica Kane better do some more quick thinking!
• Blandie seems ready to throw in the towel with Ryan, whilst a babbling Aidan (who is no stranger to babbling) blows it with Greens.
• Jessie and Angie renew their vows, and we're glad they did.

All My Children, or Todos Mis Hijos? Jordan and I begged to differ a little on the, uh, direction of the Erica Kane/Carmen Morales storyline, but y'all tell us what you think, here.

4/04/08 Podcast

Why You Gotta Give Me The Run-Around?

• Erica and Carmen are connected at the wrists and on the run. (Good thing neither one of them has has to go the bathroom.)
• Greenlee gives that ol' Blandie what-for! (And I think Ms. Blandie is gonna give it right back.)
• Baby Ian appears alive, whilst Josh and A-Mam-da should really have the Pine Valley Police looking for them.

It's a free-for-all this week, folks. I'm liking things well enough on All My Children right now -- let's just say that I haven't thrown any shoes at Carlos' high-definition television in a while. Tell us what you think about AMC these days, here.

(And don't forget: if you haven't had the chance to tell TPTB that we need Dixie Cooney Martin alive and well on our show, go to http://www.tadndixie.com for instructions on how to e-mail them all.)

3/28/08 Podcast

Everybody Needs a Hero

• Colby and Frankie run for their lives, as Jessie verbally spars with that kooky Gardner.
• Angie cries all over the new hospital room set, making those white uniforms look a little less bright.
• Babe and J.R. get closer, and Richie gets creepier.
• Ryan still doesn't remember Blandie, but he does remember how to manipulate a woman.
• Carmen Morales shines almost as bright as Erica Kane, and we, for one, can't wait for more.

Okay, folks, so let's talk. The hot news is talk of Dixie Cooney Martin's return to All My Children. Only, for heaven's sake!, she's coming back as a #*&^%#^%%$% ghost!!! Tell us what you think of this crappy idea, here.

3/21/08 Podcast

Carmen's in 'da House!

But Ashley is not. :(

I'm out this week, folks. Sorry, but Carlos had to go visit his mom in Glen Burnie, Maryland, and I'm with him, stuck in the Holiday Inn here with my computer, but no access to a microphone.

And I'm itching, people - itching! My girl, Elizabeth Rodriguez, is on the show, and she is amazing. (And to all a' y'all that want to go ahead and tell TPTB at AMC that Carmen needs a sister, and that you know just who would be perfect for the job, feel free to write in!)

Jordan will be with me next week, but until then, I'm taking a suggestion from you all, and posting and oldie-but-goodie episode featuring me and my beloved former co-host, Taylor Crawford. This one is in honor of Miss Colby Chandler, who always seems to shine in moments of duress. Take a listen, have a laugh (I hope), and - as always - let us know what you think, here.

4/13/07 Podcast

An Ode to Cheating Eskimo Kisses

• Aidan keeps Kendall safe by reciting her poetry.
• Luckily, Ryan's memory loss does not affect his recall for the number for the Pine Valley Airlines.
• Greenlee and Zach "eskimo" kiss?
• Erica foils Sam Woods by going to jail. (That will show him!)
• Blandie and Ryan make love, and this time, I don't fall asleep!
• Jessie yells at Angie, Tad, Frankie and Krystal.

Oh, Aidan Turner! How do we love thee? Let us count the ways! Give us your opinion on Aidan: a talented thespian, or basically beefcake? Discuss, here.

3/7/08 Podcast

I Am Woman!

• The Fusion women show the world their independence - by showing each other their breasts.
• Blandie wins Ryan back - by kicking him to the curb.
• Erica Kane will go to prison! (And she will bring her makeup case this time around.)

Some spirited conversation on the PVP this week, folks! disagree on Blandie--or, uh, "Annie," as Jordan insists on calling her. Did she do the right thing by kicking Ryan to the curb? Did she do Helen Reddy proud, or would Dr. Robin cringe? Ponder, discuss, rant, do what you will, here.

2/29/08 Podcast

We've Got Tonight...

• Jesse and Angie make love, but not future plans, as Jesse insists he has to leave Pine Valley for good.
• Babe and J.R. make love, numerous times, as Richie makes more evil plans. (This one makes Libidozone and poisonous pancakes look like child's play, people.)
• Greenlee and Aidan make love, but thank goodness we don't have to see it.
• Erica makes money, and a new enemy in Samuel Woods, who locks her up for insider trading.

This week on the podcast, I asked Pedro this question and now I'll ask you: for those of y'all who weren't around when Jesse and Angie fell in love twenty years ago, are you as moved by their storyline as those of us who were? Discuss this, and anything else your little heart desires, here.

2/22/08 Podcast

How Many Really Know What Love Is?

• Angie finally sees Jesse - alive - on a train to nowhere. (With that train going in reverse, thank goodness Angie makes it off the tracks alive to see him.)
• Ryan finally realizes that Kendall is a way hotter catch than Blandie.
• Fusion goes "Red" - and I'm red with embarassment at the shameless product promotion of a certain soup company. (It is keeping our little show alive, though...)
• Note to Erica: People of color (and women) can do accounting, too.

I wanna know: in spite of silly haystacks and oddly classic train cars, were you hurtling tears as I was when Jesse and Angie saw each other for the first time? This and anything else you wanna talk about, you do it, here.

2/15/08 Podcast