Tuesday, November 24, 2009

DON’T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU IN THE PRATTHOLE!!

Prattostrophic. Prattastrophe. The Tornado. Dr. Sinclair. Randi. Di. Marissa. Dr. Evil. Relentless Annie. Stuart. Headwounds. Comas. The Cougar.

It began with a storm of epic proportions-the Tornado that was to wipe the Pine Valley canvas clean, reboot AMC and re-energize the ABC daytime lineup. Ironically, all we lost was Kendall’s seaside cabin and The Comeback. Even Babe is still around, sort of. The real damage wasn’t the tornado, it was the relentless stupidity of Head Writer Chuck Pratt whose path of destruction, misogyny, disrespect, carelessness and ineptitude has been limitless and titanic.

I have to hand it to our very own Jordan Hudson. He called it from the start. He was familiar with Chuck Pratt and predicted how we would suffer under the hell of Pratt’s pen. It quickly became apparent to the rest of us the minute we found out Bianca was pregnant with her sister’s husband’s baby. And it all just imploded after that as promising stories bombed and offended: Taylor, Brot and Jake; Who Shot Stuart; the Dance-a-thon; and infamously, Bianca and Reese. All fine, even brilliant actors in the roles couldn’t save the randomly idiotic plot points. It’s been a brilliantly explosive and excruciating nosedive into the toilet for a show rich in history, esteemed for its social relevance and beloved for its actors and the legacy put forth by the legendary Agnes Nixon. In fact, Erica actually scrubbed the toilet with Annie’s bangs if I recall correctly.

But suddenly something happened. Somebody woke up and started paying attention and holding people accountable. Somebody put down their crack pipe and, in a moment of clarity, realized that a huge opportunity with the 40th anniversary was about to be squandered. It was announced that Julia Barr is returning. For however brief a stint it may be, it was a huge announcement. Hayley, Mateo, Nina, Greg, Maria, Lily, Bianca will be there all played by the fan faves who originated the characters. Coming on the heels of Aidan’s merciful departure and Colby’s recast, our imaginations ran wild with speculation of the possibilities, but it was hard to ignore the fact that Pratt is still writing for the show. If Susan Lucci and Debbi Morgan can’t spin this shit into gold, how could any of them do it? More than likely we would watch the 40th in anticipation only to feel cheated in the end with people who sound and look the part, but act more like people out of Stepford Wives or pods from Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Let’s face it, Pratt never got it. Why would this be any different? I figured the 40th would be the end for me--a good point to thank the actors for caring enough to try and just wave goodbye to a show I’ve loved for literally as long as I can remember—almost the entire run of the show.

Then came the news that Pratt has been released from his duties as head writer followed by the doozie that Lorraine Broderick will be writing through the transition. I always said we fans would weather Pratt’s storm, but I was this close to giving up. When you love something, you go out of your way to make time for it. In my life, I have skipped school and work for this show, stayed up way too late, procrastinated on completing tasks of far greater significance, just to tune in and catch up with my Pine Valley friends and neighbors. It just wasn’t worth it anymore. But suddenly my hope has been restored. I don’t know who to thank, but if you are reading this, even if you were the one who brought Pratt to town, I forgive you and I thank you for having the courage to make this change. I don’t really care why or how it came to be. I just appreciate the fact that it appears that maybe you are paying attention and taking charge. While I am grateful and I really want to acknowledge all of the incredibly wonderful changes taking place, there is one very significant truth that still has to be dealt with:

All My Children still freaking sucks.

It’s horrendous. As we speak Annie is in a coma. David Hayward is holding Amanda’s womb hostage. Madison is hiding in a closet somewhere. JR is still bald. Aidan hasn’t left. Randi is still alive. AMC can’t course correct fast enough. ABC needs to swallow the bitter pill, pony up the money and rewrite, reshoot and reinvent this show STAT! Don’t even waste time trying to make sense out of Pratt’s bullshit. Just drop his stories and characters like yesterday’s Taylor Thompson. Poof! Make it all disappear.

Control. Alt. Delete. Reboot!

It’s the holidays. I’d rather watch ‘best of’ compilations, classic reruns, and reunion shows where people just get together, exchange pleasantries and eat cookies than see anymore episodes where Annie acts crazy, Aidan acts jealous, David acts evil, Adam acts feeble, Erica acts horny, Jessie acts stupid, Tad bores me to death, and anyone suffers blunt trauma to the head. Give Lorraine free reign and support to do her thing. Tell me when we can expect to start seeing the results of her influence because until I know for sure that Pratt’s material is finished and her material has started, I’m not watching.

So WooHoo Pratt is gone! Hip Hip Hooray Colby’s been recast! Three cheers for Julia Barr’s return! And all that other good stuff.

But it don’t mean shit until Pratt disappears from Pine Valley for good.

What’s going through your minds? What characters should Lorraine bring back? Share your hopes, thoughts and wishes right here.

56 comments:

Mel Got Served said...

I asked Nelson Branco about the 40th Anniversary on Facebook and who wrote it. He said taping was last week so Chuck Pratt indeed wrote the 40th anniversary.

Mel Got Served said...

Oh and Nelson also said Randi was a Frons hire (not a Pratt one), so getting rid of her might not be as easy. BOO! Maybe they'll backburner her reeeeeal far.

Shadow said...

Myrtle's funeral and the anniversary show last year after the tornado where Angel Agnes paid visits were self contained and much better than anything else. Maybe Agnes helped with the 40th. There is always hope for creative editing and voiceovers I guess. I had this horrible thought that Pratt would try to resurrect Pheobe from the dead and create new episodes with her past footage and digital technology to make her lips move with new words like they did after Tony's mother died on an early season of Sorpranos.

Marcus said...

I've been watching AMC since the summer of 98. I even took locker room beat downs for being the solo football player in college that skipped going to eat with the boys to watch AMC and OLTL. The news of Pratt leaving makes it all worth while. Where the hell is Jackson? And why does Tad not have his own story line? How bout they sprinkle in a lil bit more of the pillar actors and weed out these side show fools who are on the show via 7 degrees of separation of the murder of Stewart? Ryan, the Hubbards, Tad, A-DUMB, Zach and Kendall are all A-list characters who have been reduced to living vicariously off the murder story. Take a page from OLTL, section your characters into cliques of 6 or 7 and write a central plot for each clique, with smaller sub plots for each character, show each clique every other day. And please learn the art of a "Story Arc". NO this is NOT real life, but even fake life has ebbs and flows. Everyday isn't a struggle for life and death. Even broke people BBQ on Saturday. Love the show, kiss the twins for me. First time poster, hope I made my point.

Shadow said...

Marcus said, "Even broke people BBQ on Saturday."

Ha! Welcome Marcus!!

OLTL FREAK said...

http://www.daytimeconfidential.com/2009/11/23/abc-soap-stars-sing-jingle-bell-rock#new

Laura said...

Shadow, what you wrote was brilliant. I have probably watched this show over time longer than most of you, even Jordan.

I remember when Erica had her abortion and how groundbreaking that was. At the time I believe it was legal in New York and not other states.

I remember Erica going after Nick, who was about 30 years older than her, now she's going out with someone 30 years younger!

I told myself I was quitting totally after the 40th anniversary episode. But even though we have Pratt writing it I see the light at the end of the tunnel. When is the last of Pratt's airdate. I am putting it on my Itunes App Days Days Until.

I hope this wonderful group of people has a great Thanksgiving. As you know, we have much to be Thankful for.

Shadow said...

Here's an idea forAMC-LA: sign Andrea Evans. Since Viki basically banished her from Lanfair, she needs a place to call home. I think she lives in LA and she's a huge fan fave. She could liven things up a bit.

Shadow said...

But sign her as Tina Lord and ditch the fake foreign country shiz.

Crystal said...

If they are fast maybe they can redo some of the anniversary stuff.


In order to show my Thanksgiving of the exit of 'he who shall no longer be named' I have written a little haiku.

Great news travels fast
The powers that be heard us
Suck it Pratt, suck it

Laura said...

If Andrea Evans can be on AMC. So could David Vickers. AMC needs some humor right now. But it also needs heart. Please keep Julia Barr. Luke from DC thought Janet Dillon should come and kill the characters that need to go.

Mel Got Served said...

OMG wouldn't it have been perfect if when baby Trevor went missing a few months ago and Randi took him, Amanda confided in Janet, and then Janet would escape from the psych ward to find her grandson and take revenge against who had the baby (aka death to Randi)

Shadow said...

I think the person I want back second to Julia Barr is Kate Collins. Mandy needs her mom. I've said before that that there's no way Janet would let this stuff happen, and part of what made Amanda a sympathetic character was the weight that she carried around about having a nutbag mother. Despite her craziness and the shame Janet heaped on Amanda, Amanda took care of her because Janet was her mother. It's what made Amands likeable when she did some dispicable stuff herself. I'd like to see Janet return in lucid, attracticve form just this side of crazy. Teetering on the brink. Scary when she needs to be.

Laura said...

The ABC Christmas Carol was cute. Denise Vasi was in the back, looking cute in a Santa outfit not talking or singing. Kind of like when I watch AMC with my mute on. She does best with her mouth shut.

discodan said...

NuColby debuts and there's no announcement?
Wow AMC

Ashley said...

Is anyone else here have the o-pinion that NiuNiuColby (as Jordan would correctly pronounce it in his best upperclass British accent)IS DEAD BEHIND THE EYES??????

Ashley called it first. ;)

I will give her this: she shows SOME potential for growth. But she was useless today in her rant against our beloved Melissa Claire Egan, formerly known as "Blandie" and now, our fave and yours, InsAnnie.

Judy Blight Wilson, my ears are not garbage cans! Hire some actors who can ACT!

Sincerely,
Ashley B. Mendoza

brtedi said...

At least Colbyn2 (Colby nu to the second power) got my attention. With 2 lines she's done better, than her predecessor.

Crystal said...

Oh man, I haven't got to see ColbyTronV3 yet. Is it more lifelike than the last model?
;)

Shadow said...

Does NiuNiuColby at least have a normal sized forehead and stand upright with her shoulders back? If so, it's a step up.

Shadow said...

Who was in the opening credits? NiuNiu or Turdby?

Norn Cutson said...

¡happy thanksgivin', ya'll!

Ashley said...

OMG! Y'all are crackin' me up! Yes, NiuNiuColby IS a step up - I agree with that. And your'e right, Shadow - her forehead does take up considerably less screen space. It's an improvement, I know. Here's hoping that ColbyTronV3 talks in multitones, not monotone.

Happy Thanksgiving y'all!

Ashley B.M.

Terry in Toronto said...

OMG! I'm so happy Pratt is history! I wonder if I should try watching AMC again? I pray that the new head writer can save what's left of this sinking ship.

On the other hand OLTL was so amazing this week. Can you say Brody and Jessica! Their shower scene was the hottest thing ever and not for the sex (of which there was none) but because he was so tender and caring and nurturing toward her in her time of real need. Watching Brody wash her body and hair and then just hold her in bed was the most tender (and hottest) thing on ABC since Josh and Babe (Real REAL Babe) got it on in the kiddie pool.

Can't wait to hear Ashley and Jordan's take on things in the next podcast.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone South of the US Canada border.

Erica Kane said...

WOW!!! Turdby was gone from the opening credits on the new girl's first day...DOUBLE WOW...DAVID FREAKING HAYWARD got the fly away?!?!?!?!?!?!? SERIOUSLY???? WOW

Speechless Miss Kane

Elizabeth said...

I'd say at this point that NuNuColdy is merely drowsy behind the eyes...wouldn't say that she is dead just yet. Have to say that she is gorgeous and that the smaller forehead and lack of a Shirley Temple haircut and hunchback are a big improvement. Now if we could just get her to look more natural with the rest of the cast...but I'm thinking that that will get better with time. For now I say keep her and let her improve!

brtedi said...

I just finished watching OLTL on SOAPnet. Awwww….Mathew got to wear his shoes! :-D IRL, for some kids with disabilities, getting the opportunity to wear ‘real shoes’, rather than orthopedic ones or (leg) braces can be a very big deal.

Poor Kyle-- Greenbean Caserole isn't that hard to make...LOL!

Ms. M said...

I think the new nuColby showed more acting ability in her 4 lines today than Brianna Mongrief ever showed in a year and a half. Man they waited FOREVER to get rid of her. I'd say if a recast doesn't improve within 6 months you give them the boot, you don't make your audience suffer like that! They could have hired this Natalie Hall girl a loooong time ago and we wouldn't have had to endure that monotone, stiff girl for so long. There are people on the SOC boards who are "upset" because they liked Brianna. To each their own but, are you freakin kidding me? What was to like? She was TERRIBLE. And some of them say "aww she seemed nice, she grew on me". Yeah like a disgusting fungus.

jason said...

Lol okay so I'm going to have to watch today's AMC for NuColby lol. Who would have thought by the end of the year, PrattHole, Aidumb, and Trolby would all be off the show? PVP has influence!!

OLTL was amazing this week. I couldn't wait to come home and watch it. There's so much heart on the show. You can tell everyone puts a lot of thought into the show. It was nice to see the show revolve around everyone spending time together on Thanksgiving.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, Happy Thanksgiving to all my PVP family!!! I'm grateful for the podcast and for you guys!

Brian said...

Dare I say I didn't mind NuNuColby. She only had a few lines, but she was OK. I'm more upset that David is the last picture in he damned book. Why him? WHY! Why not Angie or Jessie? Or even Tad. But David? Ahhhh!

I can't wait until January. New storylines, vets for a day (or two), and Greens returns.

By they way, did one read the interview with Pete on the Pine Valley Bulletin? He doesn't seem to like Pratt any more than me do. He wanted a farewell scene for he left, which I think he earned. Good actor, his character just didn't fit right now.

jordan hudson said...

SORRY ASH BUT WE SO DISAGREE ON THIS ONE LOL BIG TIME ! LMAO. I adore NuNuColby. While she doesn't have the spark yet of Ambyer she is way ahead of the game in comparison to Mongrieff. She got me hooked asap and she is smoking they way a daughter of Liza Colby the real Liza Marcy Walker should be.

New Lady Gaga CD Outrageous loving it.!

Mel Got Served said...

Happy Thanksgiving! I'm thankful for Ashley and Jordan for continuing to do the podcast even when it's torture. I'm thankful for this board to talk soaps, TV, and life in general. I'm thankful for finding One Life to Live and enjoying every second of it. And I'm thankful for all the hunks on it, making impossible for me to choose a OLTL husband (and for Adam Mayfield). I'm thankful for multiple DVRs and Hulu to feed my TV addictiion. I'm thankful for family, friends, and my dog.

I'm extremely thankful Chuck Pratt got sacked.

And I'm also thankful that tomorrow WVU will demolish Pitt in football.

Eat, drink, and be merry today!

Shadow said...

Happy Turkey Day everybody! So thankful for all of you and the little community of friendship we've created here. Blessings to everyone. And thanks for the many smiles you have put across my face this year.

DancingElf88 said...

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! Just caught up on OLTL and it was sooo brilliant.

Alejandro said...

Jordan and anyone some girl told me about the new lady gaga song called alejandro. and i was like yeah right, and then i heard it and it was a good club song, jordan whatd u think, the beat reminded me of ace of base. itd be cool if she made a music video for this song haha.

Shadow said...

Hey a fun thought popped into my head. Erica needs a buddy and I'm not sure what's in the works for Opal. If I can't have my beloved Jill Larson, maybe Lorraine will bring back Carmen to give this show some life! As was the case with Pratt, he took Carmen to a dark, sad place before writing her out. Lorraine could bring her back and reinvigorate a once promising character. Hey Lorraine, give me some Sugar (Morales)!!

jordan hudson said...

Alejandro
I love all 8 songs Lady Gaga is this generations Madonna. her music is outrageous, her performances theatrical. She is an artist. I have been running that CD as well as Leona Lewis and Shakira love them all

Elizabeth said...

Jordan,
I've been running Leona's CD too, obsessed with Happy right now and playing it over and over again. Have you seen the video? Reminds me of my life right now, always too shy to go for the guy I really want. I wish I knew you in real life, b/c you and I would have to go guy hunting together! :)
~Elizabeth

Shadow said...

Hope you all had a fun and relaxing Thanksgiving Day. Here's a gem of an excerpt from PrattFalls:

#PrattFalls about Chuck Pratt: "You're a pirate shirted asshole with no talent at all." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEHi5wluCu4 #amc

Who will we riff on when Pratt and Aidan are gone? Too early to tell if ThirdColby (C3) is better than TurdColby (Brianne). Denis Vasi just doesn't inspire me one way or the other-bland, boring, DBTE, waste of screen time.

I'm excited that we may actually get to debate good storylines and riveting performances. Ready for the new writer to bring it on. Just when I think Pratt's writing can't get any worse, AMC airs another episode and proves that Pratt's lack of talent or ability is limitless.

Laura said...

Looking forward to the new podcast. Happy Birthday Kim Delaney, wow 48. You'll always be Jenny Gardner to me.

Terry in Toronto said...

Hey Jordan, what's the scoop on Lorraine Broderick the new AMC head writer? What should we be expecting?

jason said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jason said...

I also love Lady Gaga's Fame Monster album. She's a genius. I'm really hoping to see her next month, she's doing three nights in Los Angeles. I also love her support of the gay community. Though my favorite female singer will always be Britney by a long streach.

Has anyone heard of this Ke$ha (yes she uses a $ for the s in her name) singer? Yes she looks like Taylor Swift if Taylor Swift was a pot head and an alcoholic, but I kinda like her and love her song Tik Tok.

Can't wait for the new podcast!

Bxgal said...

I don't know if someone already posted this, but its an interview with Daniel Kennedy (Petey). Its pretty interesting.


heres the link:

http://www.ourprattville.com/entertainment/movies-music-tv/an-our-prattville-exclusive-interview-with-daniel-kennedy-actor-discusses-his-exit-from-all-my-children

jason said...

Bxgal thank you so much for sharing that interview! It was nice to see an actor whose on a soap to be so honest. You rarley see that. My favorite quote from the interview:
"As you know, Pete’s character is basically defined by his love for Colby, so I thought it was completely out of character for him (after pining after Colby this last year and a half) just to skip town. So, I said, “Mr. Pratt doesn’t normally care about character integrity (laughs) … he’s more into storylines, but I think we owe it to the fans to at least have a goodbye episode if Pete does indeed leave.” But, that wasn’t granted."

So true. I haven't been watching the show much, so I had no idea that Petey was gone.

jordan hudson said...

Lmao Terry listen to the new Podcast for my opinion on Lovely Lorraine.

Will you tube Kei$ha never herad of her. So glad I saw Lady gaga Before she blew up. Monster is awesome.

Elizabeth I would so be your wing man. All my friends are married with Kids. Sucks being the single one. Also did oyu know about the extra song on the Leona Lewis CD. Just keep it playing after the last song and another song will start after a minute or two. Love and hate when artist do that Janet did it on Velvet Rope.

LOVE KRIS ALLEN'S CD

Shadow said...

Good to know about Kris Allen's cd. I'll check it out. I sampled Glambert's CD and thought it sucked. I think Adam is trying too hard and he makes me itch-like I'm getting a rash or something.

Mel Got Served said...

Jason, is Ke$ha the song the starts with her rapping about getting ready and then it has a really catchy chorus? I really like the chorus, but her rapping skills suck. And what young person in their right mind would only hook up with a guy if he looked like Mick Jagger? He looks more like a Chompers than Palmer does!

Bxgal said...

Jason, the way they wrote off Petey is the same they write off every other character... after a while you just ask yourself, "hey, where is ____?" then like 6 months later, some random person will quickly mention that so-and-so went to London to visit family, or went to LA for work.

Ms.CaseyShameless said...

haha yeah Ke$ha is a totally mess (not even a hot one at that). I personally can't stand her but I know a lot of my friends like so to each their own I guess..

As for The Fame Monster.. All I can say is WOW! Lady GaGa never ceases to amaze me. "Alejandro" and "Telephone" (Beyoncé's very is fierce.. Sasha Fierce lol). I'm going to see her in January and now I can't wait!

Norn Cutson said...

thanks for that interview with PETEY!
interesting to hear that side of the Brianne MonGRIEF story!

Anonymous said...

Monday's AMC - - Tad had the Bea Arthur hair-do again today!!

Where's the new podcast??

Jenny

Brian said...

hey, does anyone think we will see Taylor again on AMC? I know the actress was being let go, but I wasn't sure if she is already gone. Anyone know?

Shadow said...

Brian-I think they took her out of the opening credits so I'm assuming that means she's off contract and off the show permanently. I don't even think they have mentioned her lately. Maybe she and Petey are getting it on in somewhere in Center City.

Somebody suggested that AMC do a Dallas and have Tad wake up and find that this all was a bad dream. I think they should start just after the tornado. Have Kendall wake up and realize the whole thing was a bad dream. Bring back Josh, kill Babe better and drop Marissa, nullify Bianca's pregnancy by Zach, etc. I don't really care what they do or how they do it as long as they just stop with Pratt's material as fast as possible. Just drop Randi, all this crap with David and Amanda, Madison, Ryan and Erica--all of it just as abruptly as Kathy turned from evil to sweet, Pete and Taylor disappeared, Dixie's murder was dropped again, etc. I don't even care if they just did a 2 minute thing at the beginning that said, "We recognize that Pratt is an idiot and the show was sucking ass so rather than torture for another 30 days we are just sort of starting over. Please bear with us during this transition as we reboot new storylines with a writer who isn't completely socially retarded."

Shadow said...

We Love Soaps just tweeted that Brianne Mongrief (who I warmly refer to as The Turd from AMC) joined Gotham. Bad sign for Gotham. They should have hired Denise Vasi.

Mel Got Served said...

Maybe they need someone to play a silent corpse on Gotham...

Crystal said...

Hey I just remembered Krystal was PG with David's kid, right? So are you telling me his low mobility sperm found their way to her dusty old egg. Pu-lease.