I have to admit, when Ashley asked if I would post a new blog this week, my first thought was "Oh shit, I'm busted". You see, I haven't watched much since the last time I posted during the dance-a-thon. Sure, I've caught a few minutes here and there, but mostly I've kept up through your astoot comments, the blog, the podcast and spoilers. Honestly, I don't feel like I've missed much. From what I can tell, very little has really happened on the show. Nobody on the show has really accomplished anything or grown as a person. The show's just treading water waiting for the move. The drama off screen regarding the move has been far more interesting, but my interest in that is even beginning to fade. Rebecca Budig is coming back. Woohoo.
Anyway, I thought I should try to say something really positive about the show--at least just one thing. Not much there for me right now though. About all I'm hanging onto these days is, "Nice theme song". Anyway, this show has been dissected over and over again by some of the best minds in the soap business. Twitter is a'buzz with the FIRE PRATT petition that is circulating. So what am I going to write about that hasn't been said over and over again the past few weeks?
How about a poem? Well it seemed like a good idea at first. The problem was finding my inspiration. Ryan and Erica? Ick. Annie and Adam. Vomit. Randi? Be serious. No the only thing that sort of inspired me was my total detestation of head scribe Chuck Pratt. Right away the rhymes starting whirling inside my brain, "Hickory Dickory Dock. Chuck Pratt can suck my....". However, I remembered that Ashley likes to keep this PG and I already said "shit" in the first sentence so I gave up on that ditty. After pondering this for the better part of a few seconds, I was able to put together this little number to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies:
Come and listen to a story ‘bout a hack named Pratt
There is no worse writer, he’s a total ass hat
He is killing All My Children, makes me wonder WTF
Why won’t the network get rid of this guy Chuck?
Pratt that is, Charles Pratt, Pratthole.
Well the first thing you know when his writing hit the air
Viewers said, “Chuck get away from there”
Said Melrose Place is the place you ought to be
Then Frons loaded up the show, moved it to Los Angeleeze.
Hollywierd, that is. Andrita Studios. HD.
Well now it’s time to say goodbye to Pratt and all his kin.
To Judy Blye Wilson, Frons, Crapputhers and Brianne
They aren't invited back again to stay in Pine Valley
Even when it starts broadcasting in HDTV
Haul ass, that is. Suck it, We dutch oven you!
Take Denise Vasi, y'hear?
I don't even know if that made sense, but it made me smile a little. Who doesn't love the Hillbillies theme song? How are you all coping with the state of AMC right now? Let's commiserate with each other, right here.