Monday, July 14, 2008

Teenage Wasteland

  • The teen scene is killing my AMC dreams, even with the arrival of Petey Cortlandt. How much more can we take??
  • Richie is dead, and we really (really) miss him.
  • Amanda and Josh might as well be dead.
  • Jessie "dicks" out -- playing private detective and cop all rolled into one!
  • Greenlee falls from her boat - maybe the richest girl in Pine Valley should upgrade her teeny ride.
No song this week. My damn computer updated itself, and all of sudden it won't let me hook up to Limewire. I'm about to throw the damn thing out the window. Anyway, rather than delay you, our beloved listeners, you're getting a stripped down version of the PVP. I was thinking I'd sing about Richie being gone - maybe Hall & Oates "She's Gone," making it, "He's Gone." Or maybe I would have done the song, "These Eyes," and made it "He Died, We're Crying!" Something like that. You got any ideas for the song this week? I'm exhausted from fighting my crappy computer. Let us know, here.

7/11/08 Podcast


Anonymous said...

Hey Ashley,

We appreciate your efforts in the face of conniving computer chaos.

Both of those song suggestions sound great by the way. Here's another: "where have Josh and Amamda gone, long time passing?" to the tune of Where Have All The Flowers Gone by Pete Seeger.

Terry in Toronto

Crazy_Daisy_Designs said...

You've got to have a sense of humor for those teen scenes, or you'll definitely throw something at the TV!

Petey's return was way too much like an After School Special - "it looks like..... blood!". No, it looks much more like me puking, thanks anyway, Petey!


Anonymous said...

Hey Guys,

Welcome back Pedro! You are so right on the Merkin! Here's the Wikipedia link:

and more info:

Do you think there's any connection or relation between the Merkin and the new character on Angie's head?

Too much time on my hands today obviously. ;)

Terry in Toronto

Ericka said...

Ashley, you've given us so many great songs, don't stress about it. fo Petey's return...I don't know if you've mentioned this as I haven't listened to the podcast yet. I listen to it on my way to and from work to make the drive bareable. Anyway, did they say where he's been?? Are we supposed to believe that he's been in PV all this time? if so, why didn't he come see big brother Tad when he almost died!! His momma and daddy were there, but no Petey. Also, why hasn't he met or been around his long lost niece yet? I remember when Kendall was Petey's nanny and he was an ANNOYING little nerdy brat but are supposed to believe that he grew up to be a nerdy teenager too?? They couldve made him hot but still a nerd! why look the part too?? And! How does he know that's Colby's car? By all rights, she just got that car the day before or at least 2 days before, whenever her birthday was. He's weird and so is the whole story line. And how did he test the blood on her car b4 he came in the house?? and why was he even looking at her car. IT's all so stupid.

Anonymous said...

awe i miss jordan

Luis Merino said...

Yay!! PEDRO!! Love me some Pedro. Jordan, you were missed, and you are great, but Pedro's dry commentary is awesome.

melmel said...

What I don't get is why Petey suddenly got the urge to finally go to Colby's?? He should've run into them somewhere- like a restaurant or something. Made no sense that he'd suddenly appear at the Chandler Mansion to hang out with a girl he's only stared at at school. PS I'll give him a chance, but AMC better not be trying to make a Spinelli 2.0- he'll never compare!

Brian said...

Haven't listened to the Podcast, but I agree with what has been said about Petey. Maybe they should have said he was going to a school outside of PV and only now is returning to be closer to Chompers or Opal.

Gosh, there is so much story that the writers could do in that Cortland family. I hate to say it, but they could even kill off Palmer if it meant more Opal time. That family has had such good stories lines (with exception to the paintings in Palmer's basement). Why not shake the canvas up by focusing on someone other than the Fusion women.

Keri said...

I don't like the writers rewriting history to accomodate Pete having a crush on Colby. When did he have time to do this, if he wasn't here for the past two years and before that Colby was on the run with Liza? I think his first scenes should have been with his parents or at least with Tad. It makes no sense that he immediately heads over to Colby's home. The blood kit and etc. is very contrived, I think that the writers are trying to hard to force Pete into the Cookie Cutter Club.

I have to say that I like the actor playing Pete, already I can say that he appears to be the most talented of the teens. He's being compared to Spinelli from GH alot but I don't really see any similarities between the two. Spinelli wasn't the first nerd on daytime tv and I'm still failing to see what's so fascinating about him.

I haven't gotten a chance to listen to the podcast but I'm looking forward to what you think, Ashley. :)


Those eyes, twinkling with evil glee
That smile, devilish as could be
That psycho An-nie, yeah, she killed her brother Ri-chie, oh-oh-oh
Took a crowbar to his skull, yeah, and she broke it, and she broke it, babe

He died ... we're cryin'!
Ri-chie was evil to the core, but a villain like him sure kept us tuning into AMC!
Why him ... not Ryan?
Ri-chie was crazier than sh*t, which made him a perfect fit for the little town of Pine Val-ley!


Anonymous said...

Ok I did not watch today's episode but I read that Petey is smarter than everyone or something like that.

Did Petey solve the case today?

Anonymous said...

I love how Kate-thy shut KWAK down. Hahaha!

"Im not going to camp, and you can't make me"

Anonymous said...

That song playing during Ryan's memories returning sound like soft porn music.

Im distracted from the whole scene. Maybe there is not enough sex Ashley, if that is what i am thinking during these damn scenes!

Or I just don't care about Ryan saving somebody AGAIN!

melmel said...

Casting suggestion: Send our recently departed Billy Mitchell to OLTL as a love interest for Jessica/Tess- hot!

Also, I know the nerd on daytime is tried and true, but I guess I feel like AMC is playing catch-up to the better soaps at this time, and for the ABC network, Spinelli's a hit. Petey is nothing like Spinelli, but the whole dork in love with the pretty girl that has been/is still going on on GH. Let's be honest, I wouldn't be even making a comparison if it involved the REAL Colby. Knowing that Petey is on and in love with Colby means we're stuck with her crap acting more. Sorry, blunt!

crs 17 said...

mel says:

Also, I know the nerd on daytime is tried and true, but I guess I feel like AMC is playing catch-up to the better soaps at this time, and for the ABC network, Spinelli's a hit. Petey is nothing like Spinelli, but the whole dork in love with the pretty girl that has been/is still going on on GH.

Did I miss when Petey fell in love with Cassandra?

OOOH....was I bad?

crs 17

Anonymous said...

If you take of his glasses and fix his hair Petey isn't bad looking. I was thinking of Spinelli too. A song how about Season of the Witch for Annie. It is an old song by Donovan. It was in the movie to Die for with Nicole Kidman. Are you can use She's a B**tch by Missy Elliot.

I am tired of One Life to Live and the constant going to heaven and multiple personalities some please smack Tess until Jessica returns

sunshine said...

I LOVE the opening that Luis made! It sounds so cool and official. :) Good job Luis!

I hate the teens! I haven't heard one good thing about them from ANYWHERE!
glad to have pedro back. missed you Jordan!

Leslie said...

Omg! I'm here listening to the podcast on the 5 train and I decided to google merkin. I definitely didn't believe it... Until the google images came up along with the links on my blackberry screen! Talk about embarrasing!

melmel said...

crs 17 - ziiiiiiiiiiiiing! That made me LOL.

Keri said...

melmel, I get what you're saying but I have a feeling that Pete won't be geeky for too long. I think that the getup is temporary. GH has a hit with Spinelli but Pete's getting up there. He's become very popular at a board I post on. We all agree that it's pretty predictable having him fall for Colby though...and annoying. I feel like he's being wasted on her. I like Corrina, they should have Petey falling for a middle class girl. That'd be a good story.

Anonymous said...

Anyone else notice how the recaps on the offical AMC website are suddenly more detailed and entertaining? Not that I didn't enjoy the 3 sentence summaries... Totally random, I know, but I had to share.

Anonymous said...

When do we see Pratt's first day of writing?

lucyb24 said...

Is anyone else missing the coming attractions at the end? I've gotten so used to them the endings just seems to be hanging in mid air without them. (And it seems like we are getting 6 minutes of commercials now).
So nice to hear Pedro's voice again! It would be a real hoot to have the three of you together one week. Just a suggestion.....

melmel said...

keri, that's a great post. I like your idea of pairing Petey with Corrina. Her acting has improved and could be a little more than a glorified babysitter. I like Petey and will give him a chance, but I just hope AMC adds some twists/pizzazz to it instead of the geek-to-chic SL. OR just bring back Ambyr who I bet he'd have amazing chemistry with and not acting to a brick wall.

Now how soon until a Petey/Palmer(Chompers) scene?

Anonymous said...

I think Angie is suffering from PTSD.

Maybe she should see someone. Whoo!


Laura said...

Hey Ash, et. al.

Great podcast, but I have to say Angie's weave is a better actor than any of the teens, especially the dreaded Coldby. The weave would win an act off with her, and a few others.

Nice to hear from you Pedro. I think you like Petey because of his great name!

I like all your guest hosts.

I agree Billy Miller would be good on OLTL, but they have a lot of cast members now. He will be on something soon with his talent. Why do the good ones go? Amber, Billy, Julia Barr leave and the Aidumbs and others keep hanging around.

Jordon are you looking forward to the OLTL anniversary episodes? Read about them in Soap Opera Digest today. They also said Adam and Erica will be front and center with the new writer. That will be an improvement. Hopefully with summer ending next month, the teens will off soon.

Anonymous said...

So Pratt says,

"He feels one of the most important things is to bring Ryan/Greenlee/Aidan/Zach/Kendall front and center"

But UMM, are they not already, Im very nervous about this now!

melmel said...

Notice he didn't say Annie. I can't believe I'm saying this but BOO! Please no Rylee again!!!

Anonymous said...

Yes mel, I am sick of them shoving Rylee down our throats.

No mention of Tad, Krystal, Angie, or Jesse either.

Im Nervous!

Crazy_Daisy_Designs said...

I have a question if anyone has the answer.... is anyone aware of a hospital cremating someone? Isn't that done at a funeral home? also, if there is an open murder investigation, can the body be cremated? I thought the police would have to sign that it's okay.

Anyone have insight into this??


Anonymous said...

Melissa, good obsevation that I did not even pay attention to. I have never heard of such a thing myself.
That'a laughable, Give the viewers some credit.

crs 17 said...

Ok, done listening to the podcast:

Ashley, you need to get Pedro back out in nature more often. Pedro was hilarious this week; he was really on his game with his snarky self. I have almost forgiven him for his socks and sandals-self.

I want to clear up ANY RPG mess I may have started. Personally I was not implying that RPG was friends with Dorothy. I was saying that "Some were saying..." and wondered what you all thought. As we all know, there is nothing wrong with drinking lavender kool-aid. I just wanted to preface my comments with that. I think that the way they dress Jake and all the jewelry is very metrosexual myself. Since Jake was not like this before, I assume it is somewhat influenced by RPG. Maybe some viewers are taking this as RPG waving the rainbow flag. I personally do not. I remember he had a big relationship way back when with a famous actress, whom Ashley kindly reminded us was Yasmine Bleeth, so... I say all this to say, I don't want anyone thinking I'm trying to start rumors, OK?

I do like the new opening, by the way. I must've missed it last week.

crs 17

Anonymous said...

Hey CRS-17,

It would be kool if they made Jake gay and that's the brooding secret that inspired him to stay away from Pine Valley. It would be interesting to have Greens and Amamda and others all over him and then find out he's just not that into them and really is hot for Josh. ... although that would interfere with the Beth Ehlers army character who's heading his way starting July 24.

I'm personally terrified of any writer (Pratt) who wants to put Kendall, Zach, Greenlee, Aidan and Ryan any more front and centre. What the hell? Are they coming into our living rooms in 3-D!? I want more balance on the show with airtime and interesting authentic storylines for everyone including Opal, Myrtle, Angie & Jessie, Adam & KWAK and yes Tad too. Does he even know that Jenny exists now that Kate is on the scene. AMAMDA & JOSH between the sheets action. Does AMC want ratings or not?!

I am reserving judgement on Petey. So far he's OK but as usual the writers have mucked it up royally. If he's been lurking around town all this time how come no one even mentioned him? Was he at basketball camp too? I want to see Corrinina and Colby girlfighting over him with pulling hair and everything. Can you tell I'm desperate for interesting stories? Maybe the teens enter into a pregnancy pact and have to be counselled back to sense?

Terry in Toronto

Anonymous said...


LMAO! pregnancy pact! HaHaHa! Did not see that one coming.


Kate said...

No way is Jake GAY, Terry in Toronto! NO WAY, LOL! That is an interesting idea, though. But remember that he's related to Josh.

Jake ain't gay, but he should have some women all over him. He's a lover and a hottie. I'm sure he'd make any woman very happy, if you get my drift. He has chemistry with Greenlee; he might have some with Amanda. And when Beth Ehlers' Taylor arrives... There's the potential for three women to be after him. He shouldn't complain about that, lol.

The teens actually have a story, and Colby is the center of it. Someone put a gun to my head! Just kidding...but those teens are pretty unbearable, especially Colby. That new Colby is on more than Jake is. What the hell?! But Cassie and Dre do have some chemistry, and I like the new Petey already. Hopefully he can act.

Yay for Ryan having his memory back. Now let's move on.

Why did Aiden and Greenlee have to reunite? They were better off apart.

Keep up the awesome podcast! It's always so entertaining.

Kate said...

BTW, have to add that the jewelery worn by Jake is definitely because of RPG. He wore rings and necklaces on Guiding Light all the time. :)

Elyse and Susan in Toronto said...

Hey Jordash,

Jordan, Jordan! Wherefore art though Jordan?

Here are a few things to ponder about AMC this week ( so far):
1) Why did Ryan look 10yrs older when he is with Blanie than with Greens?
2)Why did Angie look like she was waiting for a ball to break out at any moment? ( she was a little overdressed for arguing with a pimp lol)
3) Why did Emma look like she has never met Ryan before?
4) Why did Ryan pay Corina like she was a hooker (i.e. Randy) and not like a babysitter?
5) When did Kendall become become the best P.I. in P.V.? Also, Jesse should heir her, as he needs help finding who killed Nipples Novak, and she is good, lol.

Who did David Canary piss off to have to be in scenes with Dred, NuColby and Cassandra?

elyse and Susan in Toronto said...

On the subject of RPG (i.e. Jake) being light in the loafers , I have it on good authority ( although I am in Toronto, I have my sources)from someone who has known him for over 10 years he is not nor never has been light in the loafers. Also, he is a very nice guy , according to my source. Further, I have several pieces of his jewelry, which I now treasure, as the last few GL years I didn't care at all about them. :)

elyse and Susan in Toronto said...

The Official DBTE list
5) Randy
4) Cassie ( sadly the vortex is sucking the life out of her eyes)
3) The Woods boys ( Grampa must be so proud of his vortexes, lol)
2) NuColby
1) Randy's Pimp

Brace yourself, P.V. has been rocked Aidumb has acted his way OUT OF A PAPER BAG!!!!!!!!
I think part of the reason is those troublesome teens. Cass and Dred are so bad they make us appreciate Aidumb and Greens. It is a who would you rather scenario. Another example of this is that NuColby makes NuBabe look good which in turn makes New Coke seem like a new idea.

Finally, Petey Cortland, I think you should give him a chance. The main reason for this is that he looks like a young version of Justin Bruening (ex-Jamie). So lets just give him a chance to whip off those glasses and become a hunk.

Anonymous said...

If NuColdby is going to have a drinking problem...Sigh!

Shouldn't her mother (Liza) come to town?

Anonymous said...


Im new, so Can you explain when you say nivea gold lotion?

It's funny but i just don't understand.

Ashley said...

Yes ma'am!

Sometime last year, Blandie and Ryan were shooting a sleepwalking -- er, I mean, lovemaking! - scene. (I think Ryan took Blanide on a trip to the Caribbean to get away from Richie.) In the scene, Blandie had our Ryan on the table, and was rubbing lotion on his fake-baked body. The prop people had obviously peeled the tags off of the bottle, but you could tell that IT WAS NIVEA GOLD LOTION! Ryan used to be oine of the manliest men on soaps, and now we have him being rubbed like a girly-man with Nivea Gold lotion?! SO that his fake-tan body can look even more bronze? Is this sexy, ladies? Even Pedro rolled his eyes when he saw that one!

So if you ever hear me refer to that Nivea Gold lotion, I'm more than likely joking about the sad loss of Ryan's manhood.

PS - That's why I love me some Zach and Jake. I can't see either one of them using that damn Nivea Gold lotion! Just soap and water and toothpaste from a tube! Sexy!

Ashley said...

And yes, CRS 17 - didn't mean to get you in trouble. But yeah, RPG is pretty well known for lovin' the ladies. That donlt mean we can't have us some bun fun, know what I mean?


Anonymous said...

Oh that's hilarious! Sissy boy Ryan! I get it!

Ty said...

Y'know, I am glad someone brought up the whole Jake 'howudoin' thing, I have thought that since he came onto the scene.

Strangely, I think Jake has more chemistry with the men on the show than the women. Check out his scenes with Frankie, and you'll see what I mean.

Angie's weaves are busted, I'm sorry. They have her looking like Rick James most of the time, with these jeri curl messes and shaggy dog do's(don'ts is more like it).

Debbie Morgan is a beautiful woman, but damn, hair and wardrobe hates this woman. some of her outfits...AMC needs some drag queens to help them get it together. They spend like $400,000 per episode on Rebecca Budigs hair and makeup, but they go to Joyce Leslie and Sears for Angie.

Anonymous said...

Ty, you're killing me! LMAO and crying. "Rick James ... jheri curl messes ... Joyce Leslie" too too funny.

Terry in Toronto

jordan hudson said...

Oh how I have missed you guys. Remember you are ALL MY CHILDREN.
Terry I'm glad to see your back. Hope you had a great vacation. I loved your comment on last weeks blog about Angie's new do. And like Miss Janet Dubios Character I say every day Angie should have a new do. I especially loved Angie on Tuesday as she channeled Esther Rolle's Florida talking to Frankie. I love the fact that no matter how mediocre the storyline or dialogue is; the Hubbards will make it gold. Thank god for them.
I don't know about you all but I'm loving me some ANNIE right now. Her trying to cover up her evil fun fun.
I will save my comments on Petey for the Podcast this week. I should be back.
Isn't Annie's dad deaf? Because I could have sworn she told Jesse she needed to CALL her father reagrding Richie. hmmmm
I can't wait for this week of OLTL let alone next week. I know some of you don't like OLTL or watch it but damm is that show great right now. I wish they could convince Andrea Evans to say. I can only imagine how much fun it would be for her and her nut job brother Todd to join forces. I'm loving Tess wish she would take over for good that would be a nice twist. And dying for the the time travel storyline to begin. Oh it feels like the 80's and Im loving it.

Anonymous said...


LMAO about Annie calling her dad! Hahaha!

brown penny said...

The reason little Ricky Paull has chemistry with Frankie and other manly men in PV is simply because Ricky has chemistry with anyone and everyone, male or female. He is just hubba hubba hot. If he has a merkin, you know it's gotta be a manly merkin.

So Jordan is our soapcyclopedia. Is Pedro our keeper of bizarre factoids?

Anonymous said...


LMFAO! A manly merkin! Im crying at that one.

Anonymous said...

I feel like Randi was worst than NuCoby today. Her breakdown was terrible!

But I loved the Angie and Jesse scenes though!

Anonymous said...

Hi Guys,

People who are hearing impaired have access to computer/mechanical devices that connect to the phone so that when someone calls them it translates to text on a screen. It is not that unusual for someone who can't hear to get a phone call in this manner. At least here in Canada, all you have to do is call the operator and ask for help in placing teletypewriter (TTY)call.

Terry in Toronto

Arizonagal said...

So Pedro, would your fuzzy slippers be called Merkinstocks? I gotta get that off my brain.

I'm way behind on viewing and have missed a few episodes, so I was surprised to see Greenlee on that little mini sailboat. WTF? I know this is a setup to show Ryan as a {gag} hero, but that seemed like a lame way to do it. Not to mention the production costs involved.

Here's a less expensive way to achieve the hero status. Greenlee is eating a Zagnut, which becomes lodged in her throat, Ryan heimlichs her, and presto, he is her hero.

Picture this. The Zagnut goes flying from Greenlee's mouth, across the room in slow motion. While it's in slo-mo flight, Ryan recovers lost memories of his love for her.

TGIF and back to work. Love you JordAsh!

Anonymous said...

Spumor Alert!

according to Nelson Branco, Chuck Pratt may bring a tornado to Pine Valley? and two characters may die? WHAT?

and YaYa is leaving the show? What?

God say it isn't so, upChuck!

Pancakes and elephants all over again?

What do you guys think?

Elyse in Toronto said...

Why did Nipples Novak's sister go all Janet from another planet on Greens?

Laura said...

Debbi Morgan is like 52 years old. I can't believe it. She looks so good. I was in ICU with my mother-in-law who is 95 and she could not believe it she thought she was 35. Like they say Black don't Crack.

I'm crackin up over Pedro's Merkinstocks.

Our little family on the blog is better than AMC at this point.

I was thinking about Tad and Ryan in the pool. Ryan would have had his shirt off for sure, except Tad had to keep his on. Although he looks a bit thinner than last year.

If you are looking for same sex action, I'd take it with Amanda. I'm a straight woman, but anything that brings her front and center.

Loving OLTL right now. Can Ron C. have an evil Twin that could write for AMC. Like a Ron/Don thing.

I could live with a tornado to kill off several people. I've gone on long enough, but who do you all want to see go besides my Coldby.

Anonymous said...

Laura my list would be,

of course NuColdby, Aidumb, Randi, and vortex(Dre)

dianne said...

Maybe the tornado could blow Ambyr into Pine Valley and send Ms. Mongrief to Oz... or back to Kansas, bless her heart. Definitely Dre would be a good traveling companion for Brianne.

And while we're blowing actors around, let's bring back Rosa Nevin as Cecily. She could definitely inject some humor in the AMC tradition. And how about Gloria Marsh breezing back in also.

Since tornadoes have hit both Pine Valley and Llanview before, this would bring a new twist, so to speak, to this plot line. Blowing out the bad, bless their hearts, and blowing in some old favorites.

Who else would you like to see return??

brown penny said...

I loved me some Cecily and Gloria Marsh. Whatever happened to the gorgeous and talented actresses who played those roles? Seems like when they left AMC, they dropped off the face of the earth. I'd also love to see Nipples Novak (good one Elyse, LOL) come back, along with Janet and Sledgehammer. Talk about a troublesome trio.

But really, come on, they already did the tragic tornado. Would they really do that again? Certainly there are other natural disasters that could befall PV.

Janet From Another Planet said...

About Annie calling her dad, when Spike was going through this whole crash s/l, Annie called him then to get help

it could have been a special phone or something idk

loved the podcast!!

dianne said...

How about an earthquake? That could stir things up. And maybe Brooke could be shaken into Pine Valley with Edmund's twin brother.

dianne said...

BTW, Jordan, it has been waaaay too long since we heard you say, "I am not amused!" Perhaps the rumor of this tornado story line may bring this fabulous line back. ;-) We'll be listening!

Brian said...

I read in this weeks TV Guide that the new writer wants to remake Fusion so it flows more like a company. That could actually bring in some possibilities. We still don't even know what some of those women do at Fusion! Kendull and Green's run the place and Babe is an assistant; but what are Annie and Amanda? Gosh, maybe they will actually have some more believable products.