Sunday, December 21, 2008

Now Who Will Lead Our Carnival?

Now who will lead our carnival? And who will make us stronger?
Who will mend our broken sleep when she is here no longer?

For who's part do we stand and bow? What stories do we tell?

And will we memorize the day when great and greatness fell?

Say will this valley overcome, and will these shadows fade?

And will we lift our eyes to see the beauty that she made?

The disappearing last of her that leads to worlds unknown

Has left a path to softly tread when sadness wanders home.

I'll meet thee where the highland winds divide wild mountain tyne,
Where I will be forever yours and you, forever mine.


This week was our Myrtle week. Though we were mixed on the tribute show last Friday, we were glad to see our great dame honored. But with the gaping hole our Myrtle has left, where will we find the heart of the show? Boobianca's sperm-stealing antics take her out of the running. So who will it be? Maybe a new executive producer will come to the rescue? Lots of rumors, folks, and we know you'll keep all of us posted here. (I know I'll be sure to check out Superposter's blog for all of the latest.)

Have a grand holiday, and we'll see you next year!

12/19/08 Podcast

282 comments:

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Anonymous said...

LOL thanks mom...i mean Laura...hahaha

My parents never let me out during New Years. Not sure why. Last year, I finally got to go to the movies with some friends but this years, I really dont have any plans because all of my friends are out of town right now.

Right now, watchin GH. Why did they put the Black and White ball on? Why? Hey, look! It's Trevor! They havent totally forgotten about him, unlike now. I love GH to death but they have a tendency to forget people...Quartmaines...Cassadines....Lansings....etc

Arizonagal said...

Hey Laura, We feds get plenty of days off, but sometimes we gotta use leave. I just walked around the lab to tell people they could leave an hour early; found the students playing Taboo, so I brought them some fudge.

The hubby and I are staying home tonight, watching a bad movie and playing boggle. Oh and since I just found out Cooper and Griffin are ringing in the year on CNN, I'll have to tune in for that. I know Kathy so has the hots for Anderson. That's the extent of our excitement!

What are all ya'll bloggers doing tonight? DiscoDan it's okay to stay home on NYE. You'd be surprised at how many people actually do that.

Hope you all have a safe and happy new year.

Here's wishing you more happiness
Than all my words can tell,
Not just alone for New Years Eve
But for all the year as well

hugs and kisses xoxoxo

Mel Got Served said...

Holy post overload- we're onto a second page!!!

I totally agree about Max Brady- can't he date someone he isn't related to (by adoption)? I could never go back to Days after they kill Bo and Hope's son, Zach. Or when they temporarily killed Alice Horton with her donuts.

I wish Soapnet would play Sunset Beach- it was just campy fun.

Laura said...

From the newspapers about Soapnet. Who hasn't seen each of these movies about 5 times each. How cheap is that idiot Frons.

SoapNet Gets 19 Sony Films for Sunday Slot
By Vlada Gelman

SoapNet has acquired 19 movies from Sony Pictures Television for its Sunday Night Movie 10 p.m. time slot.

The movies, which include “Something’s Gotta Give,” “Sleepless in Seattle” and “My Best Friend’s Wedding,” will begin airing this month.

The films join SoapNet’s new series “Greg Behrendt’s Wake-Up Call,” “Being Erica” and “Southern Belles: Louisville.” (link to )

“SoapNet added movies to its programming slate a year ago in an effort to expand ‘soapy’ programming and extend its reach,” Brian Frons, president of daytime, Disney-ABC Television Group, said in a statement. “Each of the titles offers an entry point for new viewers, accentuating SoapNet’s brand.”

And what is SoapNet's brand - Frons? Do you know or care.

Someone wondered who his boss is - here it is.

Brian Scott Frons was named president, Daytime, Disney-ABC Television Group in May 2006. He
oversees the creation, production and delivery of all product on ABC Daytime, SOAPnet and ABC Media
Productions, and reports to Anne Sweeney, co-chair, Disney Media Networks, and president, Disney-ABC
Television Group.

anne.sweeney@disney.com

Anonymous said...

Well that is a barf-worthy list of movies, sort of like the Lifetime movie lineup. That sounds like the kind of list some weaselly network guy would think appeals to us women. Is that "being erica" show anything to do with Erica Kane?

For those staying home tonight, there is an I Love Lucy marathon and on SciFi, vintage Twilight Zone.

Happy and safe new year to all of you!

Norn Cutson said...

ok, i sent this to Frons & CC'd Anne Sweeney.


Dear Brian Frons,

I wanted to thank you for airing repeats during the ABC Daytime lineup throughout the holidays.
I'd heard about what a great show YOUNG & THE RESTLESS was on CBS, but I'd always been loyal to ABC.
Now with the repeats, I've had a chance to check out what I've been missing...WOW!
CBS really knows how to do a soap right!
They've got me hooked on their character-driven storylines, humor, and sense of family...all the the things that i *LOVE* about soaps!

I know that you didn't intend to broaden my horizons, but I am thankful just the same!

happy 2009
Norn Cutson

jordan hudson said...

Guys I want to apologize if it seems all I'm doing is dissing AMC....but I'am.

As the year comes to and end. It hurts me to think that my beloved AMC will not make it to it's 40th Anniversary. That makes me so mad.

I know it seems to be silly to care about a television show. Yet that is the difference between Daytime and Primetime.

Primetime shows are great and amazing. They can entertain, and enlighten us. We have family comedies, Adult comedies, dramas about doctors, police, families. They are with us but eventualy they run their course.

Daytime is a reflection of life. In daytime we have it all comdey, dramad, all generations. We become involved with this community, of this town, Baycity, Springfield, Llanview, Port Charles, Oakdale....Pine Valley. We are there, some of us from the begining. We see children grow up and live there lives. We are in a way friends of the family. As we are there for their first date, there first heartache. When they get married and when they have children of their own. We are there through there losses and there success and along the way we learn and grow.

So when I hear people like Chris Goutman, Ellen Wheeler and Brian Frons saying that daytime is no longer relevant. How dare you. HOW DARE YOU say that the hard work that Irna Phillip, Douglas Marland, Agnes Nixon, Bill Bell, Ted Corday and so many others have created is no longer relevant. You just dont have the imagination and creativity that your predecessors had. The problem isn't daytime. It's people like you being put into positions with out the talent and know how to make these shows work. You just don't care. Because when you care you get OLTL and YR.

If this is to be AMC's last year it will hurt to loose my show. Yet in a way it is already gone. I think who will I miss, my god everyone is gone Brooke, Dixie Myrtle, Phoebe, Langley, Ruth, Liza, Stuart, Marian, Edmund , Maria, Julia...and the few that remain ....I don't know them anymore. Tad killed someone and got away with it. David holds the town hostage. KWAK cheated on Tad. Amanda pushed Jr to drink. Jesse lied to Angie. AMC you break my heart. You guys from Laura to Disocdan to N69 to Shadow and the woman of Canada to Alejandro and so on you guys keep me going and hoping that maybe just maybe someone will listen to our prayers and save our show. The only way that can happen is the dissmal of Pratthole, Craputhers and Frons.

See you all in 2009

and remember YES WE CAN

Norn Cutson said...

Jordan Hudson, we are all *RIGHT THERE WITH YOU*!

i really felt it crytalize listening to AMC win the *WORST* of everything on the DAYTIME CONFIDENTIAL podcast!

Because i *COULDN'T ARGUE WITH IT*!

i could not think of a single thing to say in defense of AMC!

jordan hudson said...

LOL Laura thank you just emailed ANNE.

Regarding New Years....for me it has always been a family holiday. My mom's family always got together under one roof for the holidays.I mean everyoen Uncles , aunts couisns etc. While that is no longer possible there are way too many of us. We are still in groups and the mintue it hits 12 we all cry and hug each other, when we can get through on phone we call each other and beign puertorican by 2am someone is fighting but lol I could never imagine spending New Years Eve anywhere but with family and friends. That includes you guys. Thank you for keeping my spirits up this year and your warm wishes, support and praise.

jordan hudson said...

Dear Ms. Sweeney,

I don't know if you will ever receive and read this email, yet I had to try something. Are you even aware of the dismal job that Brian Frons is doing in regards to Daytime Dramas and Soapnet. I wish you would really check out the Pinevalleypodcast.com blog and shows as well as Daytime confidential.com to hear what people are saying. When Spanish telenovelas, British shows like Eastenders and Aussie shows like Neighbours are brining in ratings and viewers, it goes to show that Daytime Drama still has life. It is still relevant. the problem is the people you allow to be in charge of your shows. As a man, I'm disgusted with how misogynistic AMC has become under Pratt's writing. I'm more confused with how you are not. Or are you just not aware? I think it's high time Frons be relieved of his duties. You need someone who actually cares about Daytime and who will do the work needed to bring life back into the genre. Luckily you already have someone who fills those qualifications. Frank Valenti your current E.P. at OLTL. I hope you will take the time to really hear what your viewers have to say.

Sincerely
Jordan Hudson

Anonymous said...

Melmel, I dont think that the people at DAYS don't respect adoption whatsoever. So far, Max has bedded two of his nieces. Belle and Shawn are both Bradys. It's ridic. I personally would rather watch AMC than DAYS right now, because NBC Daytime is truly dead.

Laura, I believe that these movies must include some sort of common theme. They all have nothing to do with soaps. At least Being Erica seems to be some sort of Soap but I wish they wouldnt have used the name Erica. Being Erica would be a good reality show set to pick out the next Susan Lucci. I miss I Wanna Be a Soap Star.

Jordan, Laura, and Norn, love the letters. It's the only thing we can do. We need to do whatever we can to save our show. Jordan, don't throw in the towel just yet. I'd rather be one of the janitors turning off the lights before I wrote off this show. Do it for La Lucci

Shadow said...

n69n:

That link was worth it just for the "joie de eff you" remark. Obviously the topic was different than the one here. But my guess is that "joie de eff you" will be Kendall's retort to Rinx when they try to explain their "joie de vivre" reasoning for not consulting her before they sampled her husband's twinkie filling.

Norn Cutson said...

SERIAL DRAMA - All My Children: 2008 In Review

"2008 in Pine Valley was much the same as it has been for the past few years: poorly written; lacking in sense; more than a little bit depressing on several different levels; and boring. There were some highlights, to be sure, but each of those highlights were canceled out by stories that left the "bad and boring" realm and shot way up to the level of "what in the name of all things holy was that dreck I just sat through?""

Anonymous said...

I just watched the Tuesday's AMC episode and all I can say is WTF?? Was Zach molesting Reese with his beard? I though it was weird and it looked like Reese did too! Am I the only one who thought Simon was cute? If Reese doesn't want him, I'll take him!


~~Chloe~~

Shadow said...

Great work Laura! I'll try to write something too and send to Ms. Sweeney.

Jordan, so right there with you man. You say it so well. So frustrating this show, but like that article n69 linked, daytime shows are sticky and I just can't shake off AMC yet. I'll probably be there mopping the floors with Discodan at the end. After 10,000 shows and 35 years, I'm going to outlast the boneheads in charge. It's easier to do thanks to you wonderful, funny, thoughtful folks here at the PVP.

BTW, my favorite opening is the 1990 version too. It all worked. It told a story. It emphasized the vets. Everyone else was arranged by family. It honored some of AMC's past. I really like the theme today but I don't like the studio snapshots as much as the falling pictures. And they seemed to have an easier time changing the pictures then. It was distinguishable from the GH and OLTL. Why do they all have to look alike? When ABC Daytime Love in the Afternoon was at its smokin' hottest, the shows had completely distinguishable openings.

Least fave opening: the white pearls.

Yesterday I mentioned how the opening sequence bugs me. Today's bugger is repeats. 10,000 shows and 40 years of history to draw from. Why ever show a repeat? Repeats DIE in primetime. Why would it differ in daytime where the audience pays attention with so much more detail? We watch 251 or so shows a year. It would seem to me that for that sort of loyalty you might reward your fans with the a simple clip show of Christmases past. Or interviews with the characters. Or special eps focusing on the history of the show. Another I Love Lucci. Or Leave it to Adam. Why not spend an hour explaining how a family came to be like the Chandlers or Courtlands. That cant be expensive. VH1 and the other cable channels do it all day everyday. I'm seeing marathons on TV tonite like "100 scariest movie moments". Recap the year in an interesting way. But don't re-air an out of sequence repeat of a shit episode. The tornado was fine. The effects were cool. But it wasn't groundbreaking or particularly memorable. Nothing really changed afterward so it was sort of a waste. But there are plenty of groundbreaking s/ls you could recount for me in a best of ep: Cindy with Aids comes to mind.

That article n69 linked (I think--I clicked around some other links too) explained how daytime is "sticky" and primetime shows could only wish to creat the kind of loyalt a soap has. that being the case, why not throw a bone and win some easy goodwill? Sure, take a day off, but give us something to enjoy and feel good about during the holidays. Wholesale repeats of recently aired shows just say, "We don't care or feel any obligation to you the faithful viewer".

Besides, if there was ever a time to grab some new and older viewers back, now would be the time when people have time to flip around and maybe reconnect. Show a clip show to educate the newbies and fan the nostalgia of the old timers.

I could go on but I'll just stop now.

The Shadows are hanging out tonight. Playing games, eating pizza, watching a little TV and enjoying being together at home.

You are all wonderful people and I wish you all a new year full of happiness, love and joy!

jordan hudson said...

n69 thank your for posting that it gave me laugh. I'm sorry but its so true. I was actaully shocked when I read marlena blog and how she complimented what Pratt was doing. This was someone whoI respected so much and whose article in Soap Opera Weekly I looked forward to. Yet I thought she is nuts if she thinks Pratt is turning AMC around, he's putting the final nail in the coffin.

No Chole

Simon was stunnign but then what do you expect from Judyt Blye wilson who onyl cats on looks.

Shadow said...

Old AMC Bloopers:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i30y0_pm-V4&feature=related

Palmer and Myrtle:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLBCJZNJhj0&feature=related

Remembering Mona:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adYgCinHZ1I&feature=related

Erica & Bianca thru the years:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PS-RrlABQI&feature=related

Laura said...

Daytime Confidential has a great post, the best drunk scene ever with our beloved Phoebe. I think I'll have to draft a letter myself.

Happy New Year, New Yorkers. Came home early to see Times Square. One hour left, too old to party now. Actually I can drink, but I can't take hangover.

Anonymous said...

I don't get it. Why would Ellen Wheeler say daytime is not relevant? Doesn't she support the success of GL? I've lost a lot of respect for her. I always thought she did such a great job on AMC and GL and then I hear this crap? Her roots are on daytime. W/o daytime she has no career.

What would the networks fill daytime hours with? More judge shows (how could there possibly be more!), game shows, reality shows? I refuse to believe this genre is history. Daytime drama is both relevant and necessary. The problem is the soaps are not as economically feasible at this time, compared to the other options.

Ah well, happy new year folks.

Anonymous said...

hey i don't know if you guys have seen this but it is so funny and so true! like 95% has happened on our beloved show All My Children.

http://soapnet.go.com/soapnet/article/path-articleNum_12486/category_shows/subcategory_allmychildren

To add on to the list, for #51: Anytime you and your partner keep saying that "tonight is the night" (sex) in anticipation, its not gonna happen!!

Norn Cutson said...

who knows what 2009 is gonna bring us...good or bad, i'll be here with ya'll.

Laura said...

I wonder if Thorsten Kaye is in Chicago for the Red Wings Blackhawk game at Wrigley Field? Watching it, pretty cool. Wouldn't mind being there, but being nice and warm inside is good too.

Is anybody going to any Soap Mania events? Look it up on the web, they are going all over. It looks like they are in the warm states down South now. Can't blame them. Depending on where it is and who is there, I may consider going.
I don't think I can be trusted on a ship with Cameron and Aidumb. An unfortunate accident may happen. I don't mind the people, just the characters. But if Frons is on board, all bets are off.

Anonymous said...

Laura, I am loving this game. Huge Chicago sports guy except the Cubs because I'm a Sox fan. The Hawks have been doin amazing lately. If Thorsten Kaye is there, he's gunna have an earful of Hawk fans. It is really loud there.

Oh, and I wouldnt be on one of those cruises either. I heard KWAK was steering.... not good.

Norn Cutson said...

i've been watchin a bunch of EDGE OF NIGHT clips today...that show was goooooooooood!!!!

Laura said...

n69, did you see the one on DC with Kim Hunter. Great stuff

Norn Cutson said...

yeah, thats what got me started!

& then i happened to be doing a search for Shirley Stoler, an actress i'm really fond of...& it turns out she was a villain on EDGE OF NIGHT in a related storyline!

so ive had a lot of fun today watching all that...& i was introduced to the character of RAVEN & she is hot stuff!!!!!

Arizonagal said...

Jordan Hudson, thank you for rallying the troops. You and Ashley inspire me with your extraordinary efforts. And, it seems appropriate on this first day of January 2009, to remind all our bloggers of the soap laws for PV. Credit for these laws goes to Dave Vollman and others who contributed to this list.


These laws are specific for AMC, but I'm sure they fit just about any soap... (c) copyright 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002 David Vollman, Editor. THE SOAP LAWS OF PINE VALLEY, PENNSYLVANIA was and is a collaborative effort of several readers of the rec.arts.tv.soaps.abc USENET group. This article may be redistributed provided the entire article including this notice is intact.

THE SOAP LAWS OF PINE VALLEY, PENNSYLVANIA

Hear ye, hear ye. Here lie the soap laws for the town of Pine Valley Pennsylvania, established 1683.

To amend or change these laws, send your proposed addition or change to the city clerk's office (cra...@lucent.com) for consideration.

These laws are numbered starting with a section number and terminating with a statute number, which will begin at one and increment for each individual statue in that section. Penalties for violations of the laws included within are left to the discretion of the trial court.

New or revised statutes are denoted with a *.

SECTION 0 - Section 0 contains special exemptions to Pine Valley laws.

S0.001 Joseph and Ruth Martin, Husband and Wife, are exempt from all laws contained herein, unless explicitly stated otherwise.

S0.002 Katherine Martin, also known as Kate Martin, also known as "Gran," now deceased, is exempt from all laws contained herein, unless explicitly stated otherwise.

S0.003 Mona Kane Tyler, now deceased, is exempt from all laws contained herein, unless explicitly stated otherwise.

SECTION 1 - Section 1 contains laws applicable to families in Pine Valley

S1.001 Residents are required to have a child somewhere of a long, forgotten liaison.

S1.002 Residents who leave Pine Valley will have all records of their existence removed from all other residents memories within 14 days.

S1.003 Upon a resident mentioning a friend, loved one, relative, or prisoner, the aforementioned person is required to arrive in Pine Valley within 60 days.

S1.004 If a resident of Pine Valley is involved in a happy love life, a past romantic interest or ex-spouse is required to arrive within 30 days.

S1.005 If a resident reaches the utmost happiness attainable in Pine Valley, the resident is required to die within 60 days. The final 30 days of this time will be spent in intensive care at Pine Valley Hospital.

S1.006 Pregnancy is required to occur in the following instances:
a) If a resident thinks that without a doubt, she cannot become pregnant,
b) If the parents of the fetus end their relationship.
c) If the parents of the fetus have intercourse once.
d) If a resident has intercourse to spite another resident.

S1.007 Pregnancy is required to cause one of the following:
a) the parentage is questionable
b) The child will be born prematurely because the mother fell down the stairs or something or there will be other medical complications.
c) If the child goes to term, the child will be not be born in a hospital, but some other, usually isolated, locale.

S1.007.5 Any woman in Pine Valley who is pregnant must faint at least once, before anyone knows said woman is pregnant.

S1.008 If a resident proclaims over and over their love for another resident to anyone who will listen, The resident is in love with someone else.

S1.009 All Residents are required to have "little secrets" that no one will ever tell.

S1.010 Secrets required in S1.009 are required to be revealed at the time that will cause the most possible damage to the resident.

S1.011 If two residents start off their relationship fighting or hating each other, they will eventually fall in love.

S1.012 No two biological parents can raise their child together in the same household.

S1.013 If two past lovers plan an evening out with different people, they are required to dine at the same restaurant.

S1.014 All children of residents are required to go to camp frequently.

S1.015 Infant children of residents are required to be doing one of the following at all times:
a) preparing for a nap
b) napping
c) waking up from a nap.

S1.016 The child of any resident who is put up for adoption, kidnapped, or stolen from the nursery will soon be adopted by someone close to at least one of the biological parents, or must return to Pine Valley at the worst possible time for the adoptive parent.

S1.017 Residents discussing private matters are required to do so in a room with the door open, allowing other residents to hear the conversation.

S1.018 Residents engaged in extra-marital affairs are required to do at least one of the following:
a)have intercourse in a house in which they don't lock the doors, or perhaps even close the doors.
b) leave the location of their next meeting in plain view.
c) fail to use birth control
d) the event is videotaped or the participants are caught on audio tape discussing the transgression.

S1.019 Intercourse between residents after the resolution of a relationship threatening matter is required to involve the following:
a) lit candles
b) several floral arrangements.

S1.020 Child residents age as follows:
0,1,2,3,10,11,12,16,17.

S1.021 Adult residents of Pine Valley are not required to have 1 year added to their age every 365.25 days.

S1.022 Any newlywed couple who wants "lots" of children and wants the first "right away" will have one of the following problems:
a) infertility,
b) pregnancy that ends in miscarriage (and sometimes renders the woman incapable of further pregnancies), or
c) death of the expectant mother with the pregnancy continued to term by a woman with a strong emotional attachment to the grieving father.

S1.023 All residents are required to have one of the following:
a) identical sibling,
b) sibling capable of taking over their lives, or
c) person who looks identical to them, although they are not related.

S1.024 Any parent is allowed to sue the other parent for custody at any time. During the custody hearing, any past behavior of the plaintiff showing them to be an unfit parent is not admissable.

S1.025 Residents are prohibited from mentioning other residents sudden and unexplained changes in physical characterisitcs, including, but not limited to, height, weight, eye color, hair color and foot size.

S1.026 Any child that is adopted by a Pine Valley resident will have the natural parent or parents arrive in town shortly after their adoption.

S1.027 Any resident having conversing or corresponding with Erica Kane must include "Mona was a great lady" somewhere in the conversation or correspondance.

S1.028 Any male resident or nonresident conversing with Erica Kane is required to mention what a beautiful and amazing woman she is at least once.

S1.029 A resident's paternity is never definate.

SECTION 2 - Section 2 contains laws applicable to Weddings held in PV, or Weddings of residents of Pine Valley married elsewhere, including Elk Green.

S2.001 Weddings of residents are planned almost instantaneously, no matter how elaborate.

S2.002 Weddings that are held in Pine Valley will be held as follows:
a) must be religious. A cleric or another must officiate
b) there will be a full scale orchestra, that will not be seen
c) When the question is asked "does anyone know of a reason these two cannot be married....," there are several nervous glances.

S2.003 A crisis is required to strike within 24 hours of a wedding, causing at least one of the following:
a) the bride or groom to just make it in time
b) the couple to doubt their future together

S2.004 If the Bride is seen in her wedding dress before the date of the wedding, the wedding is required to be canceled or postponed.

S2.005 Any wedding that is not planned and executed within 14 days is not allowed to take place.

S2.006 The Boutique is required to stock wedding dresses for all female residents that are ready to be worn on a moments notice.

S2.008 Honeymoon trips are required to be cancelled due to family or other emergency. If a trip is taken, the residents are required to discover a long lost family secret.

SECTION 3 - Section 3 contains laws applicable to transportation into, out of and within Pine Valley.

S3.001 All established residents of Pine Valley are allowed to use the Pine Valley Transporter system.

S3.002 No person, other than those allowed by S3.001, is allowed to view or use the Pine Valley Transporter system. Residents are prohibited from mentioning the Transporter, and must pretend they drove to their destination.

S3.003 If residents need to have a conversation on the way to their destination, they must either use a car, plane, or train for at least a short amount of time. also, the scenery outside of the chosen vehicle does not have to match any known locality, and does not even have to be consistent from one point of view to the next.

S3.004 Residents who wish to use their cars must do one of the following while in their car:
a) have an accident
b) be stopped by the police for speeding, or be otherwise hindered while on the way to a time critical destination
c) become stranded

S3.005 Residents are not required to buy fuel for their cars.

S3.006 The Pine Valley Airport has direct flights to any major city in the world within a 24 hour period.

S3.007 Residents can buy an airline tickets at the airport. no reservations are needed.

S3.008 Residents are prohibited from suffering from jet lag.

S3.009 All residents can afford to fly first class or at least regular fare, regardless of the scheduling of their flight.

S3.010 Any resident driving on Old River Road is required to have an accident

S3.011 Time is completely relative in Pine Valley

S3.012 In keeping with S3.002, residents who drove somewhere will still be offered (and accept) rides from others upon leaving.

S3.013 Residents who are driving are not required to watch the road or read any signs until an accident is immediately pending.

S3.014 Residents visiting other residents must always use the transporter so that while they are there, or more likely immediately after they leave, the next person arriving has no clue (from a car in the driveway or seeing the person leaving) that anyone is or has been there.

SECTION 4 - Section 4 contains laws applicable to finance in Pine Valley

S4.001 Residents are not required to pay for anything. If they decide to pay for an item, they always have enough.

S4.002 All residents of Pine Valley are required to have large sums of disposable cash at some time in their life.

S4.003 All children of Adam Chandler are required to have a minimum one million dollar trust fund.

S4.004 Residents who are employed are required to take unlimited time off at full pay to do one or more of the following:
a)meddle,
b)schmooz,
c)have intercourse, and
d)have lunch.

S4.005 Residents who amass a large fortune are required to lose said fortune to their worst enemy in town due to an ill advised business move.

S4.006 Residents who have lost their fortune in S4.005, will recover the fortune after a long illness.

S4.007 Residents are prohibited from sitting down at a desk to pay bills

S4.008 Residents are required to have a grand dress or tuxedo for a party, no matter what their alleged financial condition is.

S4.009 A resident may not own more than 49% of the stock in a public corporation, even if they originated the business.

S4.010 All residents of Pine Valley are required to be able to handle complex corporate financial matters without any apparent training.

SECTION 5 - Section 5 contains laws applicable to health care in Pine Valley

S5.001 All doctors at Pine Valley hospital must be able to practice in any specialty except psychology and obstetrics.

S5.002 All patients at Pine Valley Hospital will receive state of the art treatment in a private room, regardless of their financial or insurance status.

S5.003 All residents are prohibited from having small ailments such as the following:
a) flu
b) headaches (unless it is the symptom of a brain tumor)
c) stubbed toes

S5.004 Scarring is prohibited in Pine Valley Hospital.

S5.0045 Any doctor who has practiced at Pine Valley Hospital is allowed to use the super secret nonscarring techniques at any time.

S5.005 If a resident has a cold, other residents are prohibited from mentioning their raspy, hoarse voice or asking how they are. Residents with colds are also prohibited from staying in bed and blowing their nose.

S5.006 Female residents are prohibited from receiving pap smears

S5.007 Male residents are prohibited from receiving prostate exams.

S5.008 Only one psychiatrist is allowed to practice in Pine Valley at any time.

S5.009 Residents cannot be considered permanently infertile for any reason.

S5.010 There is only one floor, called the 4th floor, in the Pine Valley hospital.

S5.011 Any specialist practicing at Pine Valley Hospital are required to be "the best in their field."

S5.012 Specialists mentioned in S5.011 are required to be practicing general medicine within 90 days of their arrival in Pine Valley.

S5.013 Residents of Pine Valley are required to withstand tremendous trauma, including, but not limited to, falls from bridges and aircraft.

S5.014 Residents who are presumed dead from trauma contained in S5.103 are required to return to Pine Valley alive at the worst possible time for the other residents they interacted with.

S5.015 Doctors in Pine Valley are specifically prohibited from invoking doctor-patient confidentially at any time.

S5.016 Patients at PVH will never exhibit any side effects of any medication they are currently taking.

S5.017 All residents of Pine Valley are allowed to access the Pine Valley Hospital records system.

S5.018 All doors in Pine Valley Hospital are required to have windows.

S5.019 All residents of Pine Valley have unlimited access to Pine Valley Hospital.

*S5.0195 All residents of Pine Valley have unlimited access to Pine Valley Hospital's records system.

S5.020 When a resident of Pine Valley is severly injured or critically ill, all residents of Pine Valley must be informed of the seriousness of the situation before the injured or ill resident is informed of thier condition.

SECTION 6 - Section 6 contains laws applicable to education in Pine Valley or education of Pine Valley residents in any location.

S6.001 Residents may attend the Pine Valley Schools at their leisure. Attendance is not required, nor will attendance records be kept.

S6.002 Residents will automatically graduate from Pine Valley High School.

S6.003 Any college-age resident, guest of a resident, family member of a resident, or distant acquaintance of a resident is AUTOMATICALLY ACCEPTED into Pine Valley University, regardless of high school record, placement test scores, or ability to pay tuition.

S6.004 Pine Valley University is required to have the best program in the nation in any field of study a student is pursuing.

S6.005 Any student at Pine Valley University who is not studying in a accordance with S6.004 will be moved to Stanford University.

SECTION 7 - Section 7 contains any laws that do not fit into the previous sections.

S7.001 Residents are prohibited from attending a Grateful Dead show

S7.002 The magazines in any location are required to be 80% Tempo back issues. The other 20% will be National Intruder, with stories about residents on the front cover.

S7.003 Any time a Resident is really stressed out, the following remedies are allowed:
a) hot tea administered by Ruth, Myrtle, Mona or Peggy, or
b) Tranquilizers prescribed by Dr. Joe Martin.
c) Tranquilizers prescribed by Dr. Maria Santos.
d) throw the most breakable and expensive object in the room. If resident is Erica Kane, this option is required.

S7.003.5 Anytime a resident uses the words 'NEVER' of 'ALWAYS' in a sentence, the opposite is required to happen.

S7.004 A new resident is introduced a body part at a time and in the following order: Feet, legs, back of the head, swinging arms, voice, and then the face.

S7.005 Mentions of bodily functions are prohibited.

S7.006 Restrooms will be available for women only, and only used when the women want a private place to talk and/or fight.

S7.007 Residents are prohibited from having pleasant dreams.

S7.008 All residents are required to awaken from dreams by sitting upright quickly and gasping.

S7.009 Pine Valley residents are required to suspend time after a probing question is asked of them.

S7.010 Residents suspending time in S7.009 must maintain eye movements so non-residents of Pine Valley will not suspect time has been suspended.

S7.011 Any PV resident who loses his/her wallet is required to have an accident and develop amnesia within 15 days.

S7.012 Residents are prohibited from watching television or listening to a radio unless a news program with information critical to the resident is being broadcast from the studios of WRCW.

S7.013 All female residents are required to wear a full face of makeup and have their hair fixed impeccably 24 hours a day.

S7.013.5 All Female residents are required to wear high heels at all times.

S7.014 S7.013 may be suspended in rare cases when said person is in a coma and/or near death.

S7.015 Famous residents of Pine Valley are entitled to use the Pine Valley Cloaking Feature, allowing the famous resident to go unnoticed while in other large cities. The Pine Valley Cloaking Feature does not function on other famous Pine Valley residents.

SECTION 8 - Section 8 deals with courtroom proceedings in Pine Valley

S8.001 Any Pine Valley resident in a court action must be represented by a local attorney. If two Pine Valley residents are involved, one must be represented by a local attorney, and the other may be represented by an attorney from elsewhere.

S8.002 During any Pine Valley Trial, counsel must allow witnesses to ramble on and speculate wildly without objection.

S8.003 During any trial in Pine Valley, the defendant must have at least one emotional outburst. If Erica Kane is the defendant, this must occur daily.

S8.004 Any resident of Pine Valley is allowed to take and pass the bar exam, even if they have not attended law school. In this case, the resident will have appeared to have studied in the offices of Montgomery and Associates.

S8.005 Residents practicing law under section S8.004, will be required to represent high profile clients in their first case.

S8.006 Court orders issued in Pine Valley are valid in any part of the world.

S8.009 The police powers of the Pine Valley Police Department are valid in any part of the world.

S8.010 Police powers are granted to the current Pine Valley District Attorney.

S8.011 If a resident is accused of a crime and subsequently clears themselves, charges for any additional crimes committed while attempting to clear themselves will be dropped.

Anonymous said...

I agree Jordan. Simon was hot, but he looked like he should be Reese's little brother instead of former fiance. Actually the first thing I thought was how similar he looked to Bianca. Maybe that was the point. Simon was probably in diapers when Reese was graduating high school!

Hope everyone has a Happy New Year!
I'm off to see my brand new baby nephew!! I'm soooo excited!

~~Chloe~~

Erica Kane said...

Arizonagal that was fantastic!! I laughed so hard. I also want to thank Jordan for rallying the troops..when I read the statement from Chris Goutman where he said "Soap fans don't want to watch five days a week i thinki they would rather watch three days a week instead.", I wanted to go to NY and find that fool and say "HEY Mother Trucker, if you would produce five quality shows a week we would watch five days a week." He just makes me so mad he has ruined ATWT as much as Crapputhers has ruined AMC.
Love ya'll
Miss Kane/Chris

Shadow said...

Arizonagal, you out did yourself with that one. How funny!

Pratt has this one down:

S7.004 A new resident is introduced a body part at a time and in the following order: Feet, legs, back of the head, swinging arms, voice, and then the face.

I meant to tell you all that we saw Marley & Me yesterday. I didn't know Emma was in it. She was really cute and really good. I don't know when she had time to film it. That little girl is workin' hard these days.

This is the biggest PVP Blog I have ever seen! And it's filled with so much good stuff. Man I wish Ms. Sweeney or someone who can make a change would take some time and read through some of it. I don't think anyone's been "Leading Our Carnival" in a long, long time. AMC needs a new ringmaster!

jordan hudson said...

N69 Raven Alexander Swift Whitney Devaraux Whitney is one of my all time Favorite bad girls and one of all my time favorite actresses is Ms Sharon Gabet who portrayed her. Raven's real name was Charolete and she changed it to Raven lol. Edge of Night ruled and you would be surprised who was on the show over it's many years. EON went out with style with a big old mystery that the head writers promised would be one of the greatest storylines. The Wonderlane Murders. Alas ABC gave EON the pink slip but again it went out with a bang.

Anonymous said...

Here are some of my minor additions to the Pine Valley laws:

S2.006 The Boutique is required to stock wedding dresses for all female residents that are ready to be worn on a moments notice. Dresses will be stocked in sizes 0 to 4.

S4.010 All residents of Pine Valley are required to be able to handle complex corporate financial matters without any apparent training. Witness JR, Kendall?, Hayley and Babe as CEOs with a high school diploma and a GED.

I propose adding sections as follows:

Section (damn, I keep typing sextion) 5.021 90% of all prominent PV residents shall suffer injury or illness resulting in a coma of undetermined length, until their contract disputes are resolved, or they return from vacation.

S5.022 Female coma patients will remain attractive with clean hair. Patients of both sexes will not require foley catheters.

Norn Cutson said...

i really like how, on EDGE OF NIGHT, the police aren't screw-ups!

that Frances Fisher is entertaining, & it doesnt seem like anyone's gonna pull anything over her character, DEBORAH SAXON...she actually *SOLVES* cases!

Shadow said...

S60.0 Kissing. Kissing scenes should be as loud as possible with lots of slurping and sucking noises so the audience can get a little bile in their throat.

S61.0 Props. Props are a vital part of our show and should be used according to this regulaion to avoid confusion amongst the viewers. Use of all props must be exaggerated to the greatest extent. For example but not by way of limitation, walkers should click loudly so the audience can hear it. The Moon mustshould shine brightly so the audience will see it. Squint if necessary to emphasize lunar brightness. Awe appropriately. Always use a dagger or hunting knife with meat hanging off it for stabbing scenes so the audience will believe it.

S62.0 Safe Sex: Stars are advised to wear flame retardent undergarments during all sex scenes to minimize the likelihood of combustion from nearby candle flames.

Norn Cutson said...

i wanted to call attention to two bits from A THOUSAND OTHER WORLDS...

* If the story did its job really well, the fourth wall would disappear and it would feel like you were reading a good book - the people in this fictional town would feel like people in your world, or friends, or family.

* When you watched, if it were done correctly, you should feel almost like you were a voyeur, peering through their windows to see what really happened in their kitchens or bedrooms.

* It would be like real life, but slightly more dramatic - or melodramatic.

* The people we saw would be great actors, primarily from the tradition of theater, who could play characters that were us, or at least what we perceived us to be: individuals with hopes and dreams….people who were attractive but not necessarily models or mannequins.

* There would be sorrow, death and evil, but - as in life - there would be love, joy, and humor.

* The town would have elders, as well as quirky characters who added light and texture to our world.

* Love and romance would be a main ingredient, but family ties were as important, if not more so.

* Perhaps most importantly, narratives were woven with great care. Two-and-three-year arcs ensured a beginning, middle and end. If a show had four stories, one could view them using a stove as a metaphor: one should be coming to a complete boil, two should be simmering, and one should be newly placed on the stove.


...and their post As if feminism never happened

about how Soap Women got so much smarter in the 70s...& are so dumbed down now.

Anonymous said...

Shadow, LOL! I'm adding a comment here:

"S60.0 Kissing. Kissing scenes should be as loud as possible with lots of slurping and sucking noises so the audience can get a little bile in their throat."

Exception: Unless you are Erica Kane. Ms Kane is required to keep her lips glued together so as to form a thin hard line through which no tongue, or saliva, can pass. All kissing scenes for Ms. Lucci will cut to a commercial so that her lipstick and makeup can be re-applied. Not now, not ever, will visible signs of smoochage be allowed to taint the flawless skin of Ms. Lucci.

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year Ashley, Jordan and everyone in the PVP podcast and blog family!

Terry in Toronto

jordan hudson said...

Terry where you been girl. I have nto seen you on the blog at all miss ya. Happy new year and holidays to you smooches

Arizonagal said...

Speaking of misogyny and women as victims. Before I die, just once, I want to see Erica Kane walk to a bed by herself when she's going to have sex with a man. I swear to you, in the 37 years I have been watching AMC, I have never once seen that broad walk to her bed for the purposes of having sex. She is always swept up in the strong arms of Jackson, Adam, whoever, and carried off to her fate, like some cheap bodice-ripper romance novel. Blech, I hate that kind of crap.

I don't find that romantic, I find it so dated and unrealistic. I love it when my hubby treats me like a lady, but I kissed him first, I proposed to him first. He was too busy being a gentleman, the poor guy didn't stand a chance!

Shadow said...

I'm bored at the carwash. They have Oprah on in the waiting area. When did she get so fat again? She's going to lose weight on TV again as part of her "best life" series. GMAFB!She's helping people realize their dreams. I have a little bile in my throat. Is this the crap they want to put on instead of soaps Soaps? It sucks!

Has anyone heard anymore about Elizabeth Rodriguez?

jordan hudson said...

Arizonagl...lol I can't believ you brough that up anymore becasue the other day when david lifetd KWAK up and brought her to bed it struck me as odd. I thought who does that anymore. It is so dated and here you are on the blog saying excatly what I was thinking. I'm so glad when I know Im not alone. then I dont feel crazy lmao

Arizonagal said...

Yeah Jordan, did you notice that when David picked up KWAK, he seemed to buckle under her weight. She's not a big woman, actually she's perfect, but I'm sure she weighs more than the other ladies in PV who have been tagged by the slim reaper.

I was watching it thinking "I got it, I got it... I dont got it!" (Ron Carey, Mel Brooks' chauffeur/butler in High Anxiety).

Now Erica, he could pick her up and twirl her like a plate spinner. Funny the things you think about while watching AMC. The absurdity of AMC always strikes me and causes my brain to go on tangents.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Laura, DC is reporting that Thorsten Kaye was at the Winter Classic. Too bad the Hawks lost.

Anonymous said...

Hey all,

Happy New Year! Here is hoping that 2009 Rocks!

I tired watching OLTL today after AMC and I realized something I could not last beyond 3 minutes. I do have to say it was nice that they acknowledged New year's ever not like AMC where only some got to have fun and everyone else babysat. However, I regress, the writing might be better but the actors are still to say the least. they cannot sell their material though our acting is very good and they sell crap on a shingle. Todd, seemed worse then Aidumb he was so wooden. I think we should tae the cast of AMC and the writers of OLTL and we could have a great show. what do u think? I think we're cooking now.

Shadow said...

I bet this is where they get all those freakin' candles?

http://www.candles.net/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?page=C/CTGY/EC&gclid=CNXk0aCy8ZcCFRykagodIC8pDA

Shadow said...

I'm surprised the ad doesn't say something like "As seen on All My Children"...

Laura said...

I loved Sharon Gabet on the Edge of Night, she was briefly on OLTL as Melinda Cramer, Dorian's sister. She was better as a villian. I remember even then the best stories sometimes came from behind the scenes. The chief of Police actor, was a porn-star/Disco singer. Here is the stuff from Wikipedia.

Wade Nichols (aka Dennis Parker 28 October 1946 - 28 January 1985) was an American actor and singer.

His first adult role was in the 1975 film Exploring Young Girls. He followed with films such as Summer of Laura, My Sex-Rated Wife, Marishino Cherries, and John Derrick's Love You. Nichols also appeared in the 1975 adult gay film Boynapped!.

In 1979, using the name Dennis Parker, he recorded an album of disco songs on the Casablanca label.

Also under the name Dennis Parker, he was known for playing Police Chief Derek Mallory on the soap opera The Edge of Night from 1979 to 1984. During the final weeks of the show, he was too ill to tape any episodes and, had the show not been cancelled, he would have been replaced.

He committed suicide after he was diagnosed with AIDS

Laura said...

Discodan, I called it didn't I? I figured he would be there. At least he was smart enough not to wear Red Wings clothes there. I was wanting the Blackhawks to win. They have had a great year. I live south and I am more of a cubs fan, you live north and are a Sox fan. Rough isn't it. Glad some team is doing good. The Bears need a quarterback as bad as we need a new governor here.

Norn Cutson said...

dedicated to you all...

Anonymous said...

OMG, I just started watching old EON not long ago, and this information on Derek Mallory is freaking me out.

And I LURVE Sharon Gabet...but you know she found Jesus later right?

Guys, can we get rid of Dr. Sinclair already. The whiff of Passions is coming on strong with her.

I'm really pissed at what Opal's seeing in the cards y'all...can't anyone just LEAVE TOWN. How will they explain this when RB wants back next year? When she's "Real Dead Greenlee?"

Did you see we got a new script writer today. Ms. Lynsey Dufour. Good news--she's from Y&R. Bad news--she's from Y&R when everyone said Y&R was really bad.

Happy new year?

crs

P.S. I want to thank those of you who are helping me stay spoiler-free. You all should try it; it makes the show better.

Arizonagal said...

Hey Jordan, Just read that Krystal Hunt, ex Lizzie on GL, is joining the cast of OLTL. Interesting... Although I love Marcy Rylan as Lizzie, I was really bummed when Krystal Hunt left. This is good news!

jordan hudson said...

Laura and Crs.....wow wow...I will say that I met wade a.k.a Dennis Parker who was so great as Derek Mallory. He was very sweet and considerate man. Just a very nice human being. Yes all that is in Wikep. is true. Sadly three other male cast memembers from EON died of Aids. It was a scary time back then. Sadly today's generation does not have that fear. Anyway I digress wont get into a sermon. Just to let let you know that the EON cast were a bunch of fun loving people. Sharon Gabet was hysterical in person and alot of a wild child. Eon holds a special place in my heart.

The great thing about Soap operas back then was that shows had their own identity. Unlike what happened when Marlena got possesed by the Devil and the rating went up. It was a sign for every show that was so desperate for ratings to try and follow Reily's way. ( Not knocking the dead to some people he was a great writer. Not my tatse. ) He is responsible for the dumbing down of Soaps that followed. I think back to the good old days. When I could tune into New York City life on Riverside Drive and hear Maeve singing Danny Boy on Ryan's Hope. See Teenagers in love On AMC. Go on the run with Luke and Laura. See the crazy Antics of Karen and Marco on OLTL. Have some crime and mystery with raven and Sky on the EON. Have some Old School Soap with Loving. Comedy on Santa Barbara and some grand theatre on Another World. Sigh

Anonymous said...

Arizonagal thank-you for the holiday wishes! hope urs were great. Happy holidays and happy new year again to everyone.

Anonymous said...

I want everyone to know that the blog has hit a new record 254 posts do u know what that means.... every single AMC viewer has commented on this blogg LOL
Cheers

Anonymous said...

LOL Elyse and Susan.... this only the amount of GL viewers. We need about 50 more to get AMC. lol

Norn Cutson said...

notes on Fridays episode
~AMC~

• ZACH: "I think we both know what's going on here."

YUCK.

• SIMON looks maybe 20...how old is REESE?

• don't tell me there's any "security" @ OAKHAVEN...why wasnt ANNIE in "maximum security" to begin with?

that is just stoopit, with AIDUMB lurking...they still havent figured out that the *ONLY* person who hangs out in ANNIE's room is the one who gave her all those pills?!?

ANNIE's DR is just gonna go without her glasses from now on, just because ANNIE stole 'em?

& she's so easily fooled by AIDUMB?

• you see GREENLEE's face?
thats how i feel.

• so wait...SIMON shows up unannounced on BIANCA's doorstep (technically, The SLATER Residence)
AT MIDNIGHT ON NEW YEAR'S EVE????

thats not only DUMB, but rude!

so REESE just "hadn't met the right man yet"?

• this music is supposed to make us think AIDUMB is "cool".

• ANNIE: "The Mean Lady needs to die.
The Mean Lady needs to die.
The Mean Lady needs to die."


• GREENLEE goes to OPAL's...maybe this will perk up.

why are these people runnin around all over town AFTER midnight?!?
i just dont believe OPAL would be woide awake & answering her door that late.

has GREENLEE ever hung out with OPAL before?

why do i bother asking these questions?

• WHOA, do you see how low-cut ANNIE's DR's (i'm not callin her by name until she gets a personality) top is?!?!!? UNPROFESSIONAL.

• now OPAL reads tea leaves too.

notes on Fridays episode
~OLTL~

• GO ADDIE!
GO ADDIE!
GO ADDIE!

DAVID: "I'm following the path of The Buddah."
ADDIE: "Good for you! You're just in time for beatboxing!"

now *this* is a New Year's Eve show!

• ALEX OLANOV!!!!

dang, look @ ALEX's bangin' body! YOWSAH!!!!

• ADDIE: "Bye! I'll try to swing by JOKER D's later!"

• ha, i *knew* BLAIR & MCBAIN would end up on that pool table! DAMN! ZIIIIIIIIP!

• MARTY: "You sick, deluded bastard! I dont love you! I set you up! And ya fell for it!!!"

damn, this is gooood!!!

• ALEX: "Oh, I could have gotten him back anytime I wanted. All I would need was a bikini, some pork rinds and a satellite dish!"

• ALEX: (to DORIAN) "Clint dumped *you* for *Nora*?!?!
*That* must've been embarassing!"


• look how dowdy VIKI's outfit is...& NORA's always a frump!

• ADDIE: "Its lovely to see you free from greed; it gives you a wonderful glow!"

• tsk, MCBAIN shouldnt be goin thru MARTY's private things.

• ooooooh MARTY's face!!!!

MARTY: "Go ahead...JUMP!"

(cue VAN HALEN)

• ALEX: "Sex can be a very motivating factor"

(said while her boob is FILLING the screen!)

• i ***LOVE*** to see TODD hurting!!!!

omg is he gonna do it????

look @ MARTY's face!!!!

• i really like ADDIE's friendship with SEAN.

• i'm glad BLAIR blew out all those candles, things are exciting enough, we dont need another fire in ANGEL SQUARE!

damn she's gonna be C-C-C-COLD goin home in that little red dress!!!

• HE DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

So I had the weirest dream the other day. It was an AMC dream. In the room were me, JR, and some blonde girl that he was hitting on that Zach was apparently dating because he was spying on the three of us talking. And you'll never believe who was spying on Zach spying on us? Brooke. LOL. I thought I'd share that little tidbit

Anyways, this Simon guy is far too whiny for my taste. Yesterday, I realized something. He would have been a great Bobby Warner recast. In fact, if Bobby had been Reese's fiance, that would have set up a lot more drama because of Bobby helping Erica in Vegas. (I think...help me out here.)

And as my obligatory duty until the day that he returns, I leave you with this.

http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d100/discodan42/?action=view&current=PC4ev.jpg

Laura said...

Jordan the AIDS epidemic was very sad and scary, I lost quite a few friends to it. Iowa was not immune to this tragedy. In Chicago I remember co-workers dying and people being afraid of the disease. The worst part is how so many people died alone without family.

I know the theatre and creative arts community was hard hit. I often wonder how things would be different if these talented people were still around. It was a scary time. Billy Miller on Y&R reminds me so much of the late-great Jack Lester's character. Another victim of the disease. I often wonder how things things in the soap world would be different if some of these talented people like Joel Crothers were still around. I used to watch him on Dark Shadows, Edge, and Sommerset. I don't remember the scenes so much, just how great he was.
Surely we lost some talented writers to this horrible disease. If only they were here to help out our beloved daytime. I still think we are feeling the effects of this horrible disease in many areas. Sorry to be so sad, but not a day goes by that I don't think about my dear friends I lost much too soon.

Anonymous said...

More pine valley laws:

~ All main stay characters ( with the exception of Kwak) will have their characters assassinated at least 3 times a year with unexplained dialogue, actions or backstory.

~ all pine valley residents are requires to have a nanny/ feudal surf (Rachel, WInnifred, Coreena [who went from rock diva to babysitter/slave] who will never be pain on screen, nor have a life of their own they will get a thank-you and drive safely. Also the only time this person will be busy is when they are most needed and an accident/ Kendall being in a coma will follow.

~In P.V dead does not mean dead

~a psychic reading will never give good news or if good news was given something was over looked

~ the only way a man in P.V. can resolve conflict is with his fists and charges will never be laid or if they are they will be dropped

~ Community service given in court is never seen be carried out unless ur Dr. David

~ there are 1.2 DNA clinic for every resident in PVH, instead of cosmetics and gambling everyone should hightail it into DNA, they know so much schooling would not be necessary

~ NEW LAW RYANS has been banned, it shall never again be alluded to or mentioned directly or indirelty, nor shall anymore children pop up.

~ Zack's sperm shall take over the spot vacated by the above mentioned Ryan's sperm

~ Someone put out an APB on the real Angie and Jesse as something definitely happened to theses characters ( could be above mentioned character assassination) which only Ashley can see on her HD TV's P.Vy after dark on Soapnet.

~holidays shall no longer be observed in P.V as clearly many people do not celebrate anything.

~Once ramson is paid out it shall never be mentioned again ( ie greenlee's 8 million plus Ryan's 2 mill)

~ Erica Kane must NEVER under ANY circumstances be refereed to as a Grandmother or Grandmere or Nonna Or Nanny or Nan or Bubbie etc....

( sorry they do not have the official codes, i didn't have the time we can table this until the town hall meeting)

Norn Cutson said...

Belinda, one of the contributors to DAYTIME CONFIDENTIAL (she focuses on ABC soaps) has a good column about AMC


its worth reading the whole thing, but here's some excerpts!

I have to take a minute here and just say how DISGUSTED I am by women losing their minds and going off the deep end because they can’t have ‘their” man. I’m insulted as a female with this repeated theme. It runs through all the soaps, not just All My Children but Annie is the perfect example. It is pitiful that any woman would allow her feelings for a man to drive her insane. It is pathetic in its stereotyping. Every time a love affair doesn’t go the way a woman wants it to on daytime she launches into revenge mode and does awful, criminal things or she has a “breakdown” and does horrid, criminal things. It all boils down to poor defenseless women can’t handle life without their big, strong, studly man holding their little, tiny perfectly manicured hand. Cough* cough* bullshit* cough* cough*

....


I can’t stand David Hayward. He is simply another in a long list of dangerous, vicious men who blow into town to take over/ruin/kill the people who have stayed in town all along. We could call them “returning Veteran actor # whatever” or “stunt return” instead of naming them, couldn’t we? I’m just so tired of the tried and true villain personification. It is so used and old and dead. Especially now that there are no hero’s, no good guys, now that everyone is tainted and criminal. There is no one to root for is there? It’s one bad guy against a bigger bad guy and all we can do is compare a list of their transgressions and argue over who’s villainy was worse!

....

Here’s a little tip for TPTB; consider it a Christmas gift: it is children that mass marketing suggests respond well to replaying the exact same thing over and over to. When making cartoons for children it is said that “they” deliberately make fewer new episodes than they do for adults because supposedly children take comfort from the repeated episodes. The familiarity of the often repeated is said to please them. Well soap viewers are not children nor are we simple minded adults who need that kind of placating. Branch out and try something original for a change or at the very least. FYI; we’ve got our big girl panties on. Try treating us as if we don’t have a shared brain that we pass around like the traveling pants! What about a decent love story that isn’t a freaking triangle that no one is innocent in? How about some characters that are hero’s not zeros? How about drama that doesn’t regurgitate the same damn storyline fifty different ways?

....

I am still enjoying my torrid love for hot newcomer Daniel Kennedy as Petey Cortlandt, no matter how wrong it might be. He is gorgeous, sue me. Sure it’s completely inappropriate lust on my part, but that’s one of the things that make it so hot. I have gym shoes older than he is (that’s no joke) but his Clark Kent like dressing down to look like a nerd can’t hide just exactly what a stone cold fox he is. That’s vernacular from my generation: it means he’s doable! Colby needs to wake up and smell the pheromones before Natalia decides to do so, Colby could wind up looking back at this as the year she missed out on a little something, something hot!

....

I like Tad & Kwak, but now she is mooning over David instead of Adam and I have to wonder, does Tad get to be first in his own wife’s eyes some day, any day: ever? It doesn’t look like it to me! Oh, now we see that David is drugging her hot milk. How original. Gee, I’m riveted. As I said on the ABC Edition of the Daytime Confidential podcast, it only shows what a slut Kwak really is. I do not get the attraction for David Hayward but that’s not a big shock. What does David have against Jake anyway? I mean I might be able to see his animosity toward JR, but what’s up with his hatred of Jake?

....

And Ryan Lavery; he is dead dog dull. The most exciting thing I have ever seen from him was a glimpse of Cameron Matheson’s thong undies, and dude; methinks thou dust protest too much!

jordan hudson said...

N69 David and jake have a sordid past from when Michale Lowery played jake. It was how david was actually introduced to the show. David was the ex of Jake's current flame at the time Ally.

Laura, yes Daytime lost mane people to this disease. davdi Oliver a talent young actor from AW was taken at a very young age. Dack Rambo who played Steve jacobi on AMC. It was a sacry time indeed. What scares me now thou is how some younge people to day (not all) but some think " Okay so I'll just get on the cocktail" as if Hiv is the sam ething as getting Herpes or any other treatable S.T.D. yes Joel Crothers was one of the other EON I was alluding to. he worked until the end, his last Soap was Santa Barbara. May they all be at peace.

AMC was a tad weird Friday. I don't understand why Simon would choose New Years Eve at Midnight to come and confront Reese who dumped him a Year and half ago. As usual the concept was right but the execution was off. Greenlee and Ryan annoy me to no end. So does Dr. Sheridna Crane ( because for the life of me I can't remember the character's name.

OLTL was great...enuff said.

Arizonagal I know about Krystal Hunt...rumors were that she will be Talia's younger sister. I wonder if she might be coming on to play a recast Sarah..hmmmm. If anyone could be Tina Clayton Lord Robert's daughter to the bone it woudl eb Krystal. I loev Marcy Rylan a great deal but the writers totaly changed the character to suit Marcy after Krystal left. They are to two totaly different Lizzies.

If you have not seen it go. Revolutionart Road is brilliant. Leo and Kate are our Generations Hepburn and Tracy. They need to do more films together

Anonymous said...

I just had a thought.

After Colin Egglesfield does his short stint on AMC this time around, they should bring him onto OLTL as CJ, Sarah's older brother that was in the air force. He looks enough like Cord to be able to pull it off, and you know that he can pull of the Buchanan vibe. They could have him romancing Layla, because she's got nothing else better to do, or maybe even going after Taila. Wouldnt be the first time he lusted after someone that he couldnt have. I dont know, but it could definitely work.

Anonymous said...

I'd love to see Colin Egglesfield on OLTL. He got the shaft on AMC and I know it's been said a million times, but why?! Why would TPTB can Colin and not Aiden Turner? You're right Ashley, the guy must be tuggin' Frons. There isn't anything Aiden is doing on AMC that could not have been done so much better by CE.

I am still pissed that a ground breaking storyline was undone, unaborted. But then, to cast Colin, make us like the character and the actor, and then can him? Why kill off a spawn of Erica? This is one move that has never made any sense to me. It's all wrong, wrong, wrong and just when you think TPTB's decisions can't get any worse, they do.

And now, when I hear what they are going to do with the Josh character, it is just sickening to me.

Sorry, I just get so frustrated. I wish I didn't care so much.

Arizonagal said...

All of the discussion of the early days of the AIDS epidemic brings back such a flood of memories. All the people lost, the fear, the prejudice. I am so glad there is now hope for people with HIV.

One of my favorite all time rock groups was and is Queen. I just thought Freddie Mercury was such an electrifying and talented singer and performer. You'd get chills watching him perform. I remember in 1985 when LiveAid was on the tube and I was sort of watching it and cleaning house at the same time. Queen came on stage and I was just blown away by them. He just owned that stage and years later, Freddie's performance is the only one I remember. RIP Freddie, died of AIDS at 45. Wonder what else would have come from his talent. Check this out...

http://tinyurl.com/5wyswu

jordan hudson said...

Discodan Im all for your idea.
Brownpenny you are not alone. Its okay to felel. this is why we msut destroy the enemey and there names are El Diablo Frons and the Pratthole. They need to be elimanted for good before they destroy all that is decent in the world and Pine Valley. can I get an Amen.


YES WE CAN

Ps Im a TAD tipsy. A belated New Years Eve Clebration cocktail. hello everyone

Anonymous said...

Brown Penny, I guarentee you, when it happens (not if), I will explode. I will throw things. I will come on this podcast blog and use language not fit for a sailor.

Jordan, I'm telling you, it could be great. Not only that, OLTL hasnt had a gay storyline in a while, and CJ has been rumored within the confines of OLTL to be either gay or at least bi. It could be really powerful if done correct. The last time that they even touched on the subject of homosexuality, you had Daniel Coulson killing the best character that OLTL has ever had, Paul Cramer. It was ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

yeah Discodan, I'll be right there with you throwing a chankleta at the HDTV - are we talking about the same thing here? The Josh thing? Anyway, I reiterate, I am disgusted!!

Anonymous said...

The Josh thing will literally make me throw up. I'm not kiding. It's disgusting. I cant stand it. There is only one semi-funny thing that I heard about it and it was a joke that Nelson Branco made about it when he was predicting what will happen in 09. Let's just say that Kendall's gunna start greasing her hair and sleeping with Hannah in the middle of the Cambias offices. Ha.....

jordan hudson said...

Discodan
At one point early on they almost made Rex gay. OLTL has yet to have a major family memember gay. Which is real suprising with A gay head writer and alleged gay E.P. CJ has never been shown as an adult while Sarah has been on twice grown up. OLTL could sure give ATWT a run for there money if they had a gay super male soap couple to compliment there sister shoes sappho pairing. As much as I adore Luke on ATWT. I don't love NUKE. Luke needs to find his Holden, just like his mama. Noah is a second rate dusty.

In regards to Josh. Everyone sya it with me....... IM NOT AMusED!

Anonymous said...

I remember when they almost made Rex gay. We would have never had the modern Tad the Cad (bed the girl, then her mom [Jen and Lindsey]) and Gigi and Shane would definitely be coming into some surprises. LOL

Anyways, if they did bring Colin in as CJ, that could open the door to bringing in an aged character from another core family like River Carpenter, or maybe if they brough back Danny Wolek with a son in tow or something....now that I say that, let's not make it any of Danny Wolek's kids because he's also a Lord. (Danny is Meredith Lord's son [Meredith is Viki's other sister who died]). Maybe Rachel Gannon could come back with an aged kid right around CJ's age. That would give us a gay interracial couple. Ron C. could definitely do a lot with that.

Anonymous said...

That or Marcie could have her brother come.

Norn Cutson said...

so who do ya'll think these two blind items from Nelson Branco's column are???

lets speculate!!!!


"—Which east coast soap starlet refused to work opposite her gay and black co-stars? She was quickly recast, despite the fact that viewers began to fall for her portrayal of the character.

—Which east coast Emmy-nominated actress was almost strangled after getting into a fight with her co-star? There was even an AFTRA investigation (she accused him of strangling her). The popular actor was soon fired. The role has been recast three times and is now being played by a west coast star."

Shadow said...

Now that Laurence Lau is finished at ATWT he should stop by AMC again to see Jessie and Angie. I always liked him. He still looks the same.

Shadow said...

Just watched Friday...

That wasn’t a kiss. That was an ear lick. A wet willie.

Aidumb peering through the window is so stupid. Not to mention him counting to 996. As if he could count that high.

I wonder if Simon noticed that Boobianca's left boob is bigger than the right? Major lopsided cleavage in this one.

Why would Dr. Sinclair have to sneak in and out of a storage closet where the towels and scrubs are? Is that her personal supply? Wouldn’t someone notice a red laptop in there when they are folding or grabbing a towel? And do they have electricity in there? Because most laptop batteries only last 4 hours. Who is the dickhead who approves this stuff? Pratt cannot getting paid for this.

What is with that little frown thing between Zach’s eyebrows? Has he always had that? It looks like an upside down V.

Boobianca looks better with straight hair. Really pretty today except for the crooked boob.

Couldn’t Janet just walk by and do something funny? Just stroll by while they wheel InsAnnie around or something. Give the place a little joie de vivre? (I just can’t let that dumb line go.)

Is the casino across the street from Zach’s place? Cause Boobianca just hung up the phone and walked in the door with Simon. As for this Simon/Reese confrontation, isn’t this a little late? It’s been a year and a half since she canceled their wedding, met Boob and got engaged and they’re just now having this conversation?

Is Opal only going to show up for an occasional tarot card reading or baby sitting job?

If I were Opal I’d be pissed too if somebody spit their dip in my teacup. That Greenlee is a pig!

Man, Aidumb is all quick reflexes in this one.

Is the Dairy Association paying for all this product placement? Boob, KWAK, everybody just loves milk now. If Ryan shows up with a milk moustache this week, I’m never watching again.

OMG, more candles. When does he have time to buy and stage all these candles? With all the body shaving, working out and tanning he must have to do every day, I just don’t see how he finds the time.

Dr. Sinclair just yanked that flash drive right out of her computer. Didn’t even bother to “eject” it first. Don’t mess with her Aidumb! She’s a loose cannon! Wild I tell ya.

Where is the fun in the Rinx love affair? I want to fall in love with them falling in love with each other. We don’t need Simon for controversy. Kendall will be back soon enough. Simon, the fake Zach kiss. Yech. Why can’t they work as hard at making this a positive, happy storyline? This whole relationship had a negative vibe from the start. Not because of the gay part, but because of the sperm thing. It would have been good enough just to see a beloved character like Binx come home and share her joy. 4 months of bliss and love. Watching a character we’ve seen through so much find her way. It could have been really beautiful. But instead Pratt is giving us one tired cliché after another and doing everything possible to doom the relationship. We don’t root for a supercouple because of the bad stuff that happens to them. We root for a supercouple because we fell in love with them falling in love, and then we can’t help but root for them no matter what life throws them. We never got the good stuff. We just skipped straight to the part where the relationship is being jeopardized so we don’t have any investment in them. Did he not take Soap 101 before he took this job?

Shadow said...

BTW, the whole show Friday took place in tiny little places-Zach's fire place. Zach's bar. Smallest casino ever. Opal's chair. Her house always looks especially fake to me. Ryan's fireplace. The door outside Annie's room. The storage closets? Did AMC have to give up the expensive digs because these are the most drab, cheap looking sets I have ever seen.

Anonymous said...

When Ryan asked Greenlee to marry him, she said no, and Ryan asked her why not. She gave some forgettable bullsh*t answer essentially blaming Annie. Here's what I really wanted to hear her say to him.

No Ryan, I can't marry you. You aren't even divorced from Annie yet and you have to deal with that first. Ryan, it's foolish to jump into another marriage so soon. Don't you think you need some time alone to figure out why all your relationships fail. They all have one thing in common - YOU. Maybe it's time you took a break and get your head together. How would all of this relationship hopping affect Emma? It's time for you to concentrate on being a father to a confused little girl who needs your complete focus. Ryan you need some counseling so you can figure out why you have this need to rush into relationships that always end badly. You have learned nothing from your mistakes and neither have I. Lets take this slowly and make sure we are doing the right thing.

Norn Cutson said...

who here is on facebook?
add me as a friend!

Erica Kane said...

Well today is AMC's 39th Anniversary!!! Happy Anniversary Pine Valley!!

Miss Kane/Chris

Shadow said...

Has Crapputhers been given the boot yet?

Brian said...

Does anyone know if we are getting a podcast today? I am in some serious need to hear Ashley and Jordan's opinions on yet another disappointing week. I want some classic soap stories rather than this dull lifeless substitutes.

And what was with Zack sucking in Reeses earlobe? I thought he was going to kiss her? I don't even know what he did.

Anonymous said...

So Zach and Reese might be the ticket into keeping Tamara Braun around, and I'm strangely okay with that. And I really honestly don't care whether Bianca stays or goes. That's how much they've hurt this character. And Erica playing mother hen is really tired, and it just started.... Oh, and since when is Jake interested in something that doesn't pertain to Jake? All of the sudden, he's Tad's brother, concerned about his marriage with KWAK. And boy, Opal is a quick healer. That was the most ridiculous medical related almost-drama that I have ever witnessed.

jordan hudson said...

Sorry Brian, Ashley is still on vacation but we will be back next week recharged and ready to go. I so wish we could have doen a podcast for these last two weeks. I thought were some of the most wretched written material Pratt and his team have puked out. I don't know how any reporter in there right mind can say that Pratt has improved AMC. I will say it at this point I rather have Mctavish back. Thats how inept Pratt is at telling a story.

Today's epsiode was just bizzare. Jake and Jr teaming up with no mention of the conflict due to Amanda. The inquisition of KWAK was so horribly done. I just the show is making me viloently ill

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