Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Life's A Beach...

What a crazy week! OLTL’s Carlotta is recast and sparks a debate over the burgeoning Fish storyline with our own Jordan and DiscoDan weighing in on the issues. The entertainment world takes a big hit with the losses of Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and pitchman Billy Mays, and we, like the rest of the world, paused for a moment to share some reflections on how our lives were touched by them all. Beth Ehlers sounds off about her sucktastic experience on the Chuck Pratt penned AMC. Our friend Norn (n69) goes inside ABC studios and gets a first hand look behind the scenes at ABC Daytime! And our sweet Mel Got Served takes a shot at an audition for “Wheel of Fortune”. Oh yeah, and from what I’ve read here on the blog, a bunch of stuff happened on or about AMC.

Sorry guys, I didn’t watch much of AMC last week because I was too busy getting ready for our beach vacation this week. That means I won’t be watching much this week either. Kids rule and they want to snorkel, swim, fish, build drippy castles and play putt-putt golf all day. (I have to say, that’s all pretty fun stuff too!) If you wouldn’t mind watching so I don’t have to, I sure would appreciate it. I’ll reset the blog so it doesn’t get too huge, and you post your ass-toot comments right here.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Keep It Simple

  • Emma faked a tummy ache knowing Ryan would immediately rush her to the hospital where she could sneak away to visit Annie. Is Emma the new Crazy Kathy? Like Mother, Like Daughter I hope.
  • Aside from the complete implausibility of the plot, Chrishell Stause delivered an emotional and moving performance as Amanda delivered a perfect baby boy and told the world he died. David continued to defy the limits of time, logic and probability by being everywhere, all the time, at just the right time. Fortunately for David, flights leave Pine Valley every 30 minutes for Barbados. After finding out Jake and Amanda were there, he immediately hopped a flight and arrived minutes after the birth. The entire hospital staff was primed and ready for him and swore the baby died. Will David just accept the baby’s death or will he keep harassing Amanda until she cracks? Where is Janet From Another Planet in Amanda’s hour of need? David is no match for Grandma JFAP.

  • Speaking of David, he proved his love for Krystal by driving drunk and wrecking into a guardrail. Krystal suffered her 80th head injury this year and was hospitalized just after she did a Penelope Pittstop in Tad’s arms. David also mocked Marissa for trying to be the daughter he never had, but JR made her feel better by explaining how she reminded him of cherry coke swilling, guacamole eating Saint Babe of Pine Valley.

  • Tad mixed with the ladies and showed chemistry with JaLu, KWAK and Taylor. After reminiscing about old times with JaLu and realizing that Krystal’s heart is still with her head bashing husband, he pondered if Tad the Cad was dead. Then he sipped wine and popped a woody with Taylor at the ConFusion bar. Taylor and Brot’s relationship hit the skids.

  • Angie’s Mood Weave turned limp and lifeless as Angie fretted over Frankie’s future. Frankie continued his downward spiral unable to turn the pages of his favorite magazine, sip from a wine goblet, or eat macaroni and cheese with a fork. The whole family staged an intervention and reminded him that he’s married to a really hot hooker.

  • JaLu took on Annie’s case, while Adam accepted Annie into his home and kicked JR and Lil’ A out on their Lil’ Asses.

  • Adam and the DA continue working to make the case against Kendall, who responded by sleeping late, watching TV, playing with her kids and parading about in low-cut blouses revealing her glistening 10” scar. Adam & Co. may be out to get her, but she’s too busy rubbing Mederma scar fading cream all over her chest and fantasizing about a ménage a trios’ with Ryan and Zach to care.

  • Ryan kissed Erica in a weird, unnecessary scene. Annie kissed Adam and I felt a little bile rise up in the back of my throat, although I wonder who is playing who. Adam and Annie are gross, but sort of interesting. Ryan and Erica are just gross. Pratt says the audience wants it to happen though. The lesson here is: keep it simple enough for Pratt to understand or he will misinterpret what we say. Here’s how you do it:

    F-I-R-E C-H-U-C-K P-R-A-T-T !

    Now it’s your turn, right here.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Happy Anniversary Chuck Pratt or Fire Chuck Pratt??

This month marks Chuck Pratt’s one year anniversary since joining All My Children, and we have him to thank for these gems from the last week:

  • Another week, another head injury as David threw JR into a doorframe and knocked him out, and Tad threw a punch at David for calling him stupid. Hopefully the Babe Carey Chandler Memorial Wing at PVH specializes in treatment of head traumas.

  • Amanda accepted Jake’s spontaneous proposal and the two shared a funny, moving exchange of vows in a double wedding with Marco and Consuela. But was it over the top to have David and Marissa burst in unannounced?

  • On their honeymoon in Barbados, Jake and Amanda frolic on the beach in a scene we didn’t see, then Amanda delivered the spawn of David. Fortunately for JaLu, Jake has the best cell phone ever and an unlimited calling plan for calls between the US and Barbados.

  • JaLu may be mixing it up in black and white, but she still got no respect for her pregnancy as David pushed her around and Tad threw a dart in her belly. And she continues to be the most ethically challenged lawyer ever--pity the fool who gives her a retainer.

  • The murder mystery investigation heats up and the scarce evidence uncovered by Jessie makes Kendall the main suspect. We did find out that Ryan and Zach wear a size 10.5 shoe and David wears an 11. Next week we find out Kendall’s bra size and whether Stuart preferred boxers or briefs. I don’t know what any of it has to do with who murdered Stuart, but what does?

  • Krystal got her bitch back, and Marissa pledged to save David from himself.

  • Returning from his extended contract negotiations, uh, I mean tour of duty in Iraq, Frankie continued to mourn the loss of his digits. Randi hasn’t had sex in weeks and her inner ‘ho is losing her patience. As long as she can ride the big digit, she's not too concerned about the other ten.

  • Annie laid around in bed all week, while Adam and Aidan poked around the hospital mumbling about their feelings for her.

  • Apparently, Taylor is getting a rest from her exhausting storyline. She and Carmen Sugar Morales are vacationing in an undisclosed location. Maybe one day these fan faves will return with Brooke.

When ABC announced Pratt's hiring, Frons said: "Charles Pratt, Jr. is a master storyteller. His talents in writing today's biggest primetime hits in conjunction with his vast experience with daytime dramas will undoubtedly elevate All My Children stories in new and exciting directions."

Pratt officially arrived in June 2008. How do you think things are going one year into Pratt’s reign? The last year brought us a totally wacked InsAnnie, Erica/Adam alliance, Bianca, Reese & Gabrielle, the CGI Tornado, the anniversary show, Myrtle's funeral, Greenlee, Babe and Stuart's deaths, the return of David, the Satin Slayer, Angie and Jessie, Jake, Scott and Liza, an introduction to Taylor, Brot, Rancid, ehr Randi, and Marissa, Bucktoothed Boogerface, Dr. Sheridan Crane Sullivan, lots of head injuries, several bum hearts, a coma or two, some temporary blindness and so forth.

Do you think anything is better or is the show circling the drain? Should ABC renew Pratt for another year or part company? If you could give Pratthole, Frons or Crapputhers a word of advice, what would it be? Please share your thoughts, here.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Angie Great. Brot good. Randi bad. GhostBabe worse. Pratt worst.

  • As if killing Stuart wasn’t bad enough, Pratt makes us relive it over and over as he drags the “Who Shot Stuart” murder mystery out all summer long. Of course the real mystery is “WTF is with Tad?”.

  • Jessie is still acting like a Private Dick. Erica is the worst Private Dick ever, and Petey ruins the most significant piece of evidence discovered so far.

  • What does Emma know about Stuart's death? She has a thing for guns. Not long ago she found a gun under the bed, and while most girls draw bunnies, flowers and butterflies, Emma draws an Astra, 357 Magnum, 3 " barrel, Armaloy satin finish, Lee Reloading dye, handgun.

  • Pratt shoots another blank with an old storyline involving the sperm switch fiasco of Colby’s conception.

  • Colby tries to read. Annie gets shanked for reading. Ryan tries basic math. Bless his heart.

  • It’s Smackdown at Wildwind as KWAK and David go mano y mano over the end of their loving union!

  • Kendall is torn between two lovers, and feelin’ like a fool, because lovin’ both of them is breakin’ all the rules…

GOOD NEWS! Chrishell Stause aka Amamda Dillon mercifully extends her contract through the end of the year!

NEXT WEEK ON All My Children: One character’s sperm ends up in a place it doesn’t belong! Another beloved character suffers a blunt force trauma to the head! (Ok, I totally made that up, but the odds are in my favor.)

Well folks, there may not be a new podcast this week, but there’s plenty to dish about. Let’s keep the blog going while Ashley takes a break to start the adventure of her life with Carlos and The Twins. Be on the lookout for Jordan’s posts. No doubt he’ll have plenty of ass-toot commentary about AMC and the whole summer TV season! Post your thoughts and send Ashley happy thoughts right here.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

A Boring Whodunit, and a Surprise (from Us!)

  • Stuart gets killed, as Chuck Pratt commits another desperate act for the sake of ratings.
  • Jesse acts like a real Private Dick.
  • Jennifer Bassey's Marian makes us cheer, while J.Lu makes us wanna hurl.
  • The whole murder mystery has us rolling our eyes.
  • The Young and the Restless anyone? Anyone?
We're back from a brief hiatus folks! And we're about to take another one! We hope you enjoy the podcast, and that it'll all make sense once you get, oh, about 5 minutes in! During our hiatus, Jordan and Shadow will keep everyone busy and buzzing with new blogs (minus the podcast) every week or so for the next month or so. We love our little PVP family, and we hope you'll stick around and keep on posting. We'll be back before you know it, but in the meantime, keep the commentary going this week here.

5/29/09 Podcast