Jeepers Creepers!

• David creepily manipulates Amanda.
• David creepily manipulates Krystal.
• Brot's mom reveals her creepy reasons for lying to Taylor (not to mention that she has creepy eyes).
• InsAnnie pulls the ultimate creepy move against Ryan (and I'm kind of glad).
• Jessie and Rebecca are just plain creepy.
• Colby is a creep, period.

I must warn you - the levels on the podcast this week are not good. I set my inputs levels too high by accident, and it gets pretty blown-out in spots. (What can I say, people? I don't got Jimmy Jam helpin' out!) I apologize in advance if I've hurt your ears. One other thing: do yourself a favor, and check out One Life to Live, if you can swing it. It isn't perfect, but it just feels real. Plus, they don't assault the viewer's intelligence on a daily basis. No to mention that they have actual adults on the show, and characters that have been there more than 10 years. Seriously. And all of them can act. They might not be the best lookin' crew, but who cares? Acting before beauty, we always say. (Plus, we ain't so perfect ourselves, if you can believe that.) Finally, whatever you do, please, please, please tell us what's going on in that big brain of yours. We'd love to know, here.

11/21/08 Podcast

You Take the Good, You Take the Bad

The good:

• Reeanca unlimited.
• Brot plus Taylor (but definitely minus Colby).
• Zach (finally) shedding a (manly) tear over his sleeping beauty.
• Aggie Nixon and the "All My Children" prayer.
• Anything Petey Cortlandt.

The (very) bad:

• Anything Cryan, Greenlee, and Aidumb.
• Erica and Adam making out.
• Jesse as a liar.
• Bianca as a liar.
• Colby as anything.

I just wanted to thank you all for your amazing posts whilst Jordan and I recuperated. I also want to give a special shout out to Luis, who continues to provide amazing PVP Theme Song Intros for us. (They are all his work and creation. You rock, Luis!) I don't have much more to add, because you all do it so well. So keep on with your bad selves, and do your thing like only PVP listeners do!, here.

11/14/08 Podcast

Another Week of Good News, Bad News

Let's do the bad news first.

Both Jordan and I had a bad week. I had the stomach flu, and Jordan caught a crazy bug as well. We're both feeling better, but neither one of us was up to a 'cast this week. So sorry to disappoint, but hopefully next week things will be looking up for both of us (and food will be staying down).

The good news? I was actually caught up in this past Thursday's and Friday's episodes! I mean, I didn't nod off once. I swear! Okay, well, maybe the Greenlee/Ryan/Aidumb appearances were an exception, but for the most part? Some real moments of greatness where I felt like, This is my All My Children. The Iraq vets support group? Astounding. Taylor and Jake? Great stuff, folks! Okay, fine - so some of Taylor's temper-tantrums weren't fun, but tell me you weren't crying when Taylor talked about making love to Brot! She's one hell of an actress, that Ehlers! Bianca and Reese? Steamy, people!!! Open-mouthed kissing and all! And Brot? OMFG - I cannot wait to see how this real-life vet blows us out of the water with his story!

I am still pissed about the Zach baby-daddy storyline, the "Jesse We Hardly Knew Ye'" crap, and I really don't know how much more I can take of Randi, Colby, or Carmen-as-hoochie-mama. Not sure these things are surmountable for me, unless they disappear. And I don't have much to say about Annie, because I'm not the fan that y'all are. (Plus, I know the end of the story, and it blows.)

Still, I'm watchin', and I'm so glad that you're still with me, listenin'.

Here's an old PVP eppy which includes mention of the Zarf support group scenes, which was also a golden AMC moment, IMHO.

And don't forget: we live for your comments, people. Keep the discussion going, here.

3/9/07 Podcast

"I'm All Cried Out... Over You."

(Read title caption to the tune of the famous ditty by Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam, and not with Bobbie Eakes portrayal of grieving momma in mind.)

• Krystal "mourns" the death of her daughter, Arabella Carey Chandler.
• David threatens everyone in town. (No wonder our resident Dr. Evil gets it wrong all the time. He lacks focus.)
• Binks gets engaged. (Shouldn't we care a little more about this?)
• Annie does not want to get the police involved in the search for her daughter. It's just not safe. Much better for an unarmed woman to bring $10 million bucks -- in cash -- in a sack -- to a dangerous kidnapper in the seediest part of town. Much safer.
• Kendall is still in a coma. And doing some of the finest acting we've seen on AMC all week. (Ouch. Harsh, right?)

Oh goodness! I wish I had been all caught up on your posts (instead of all cried out at the sinking of my show) before posting this podcast! I'm caught up now, and loving how you all keep it going. (Shadow and n69, you're giving me a run for my money! You boys have me rollin'!) These are troubled times for our show, although, funnily enough, the ratings seem to be holding -- for now. Keep the thoughts flowing here.

10/31/08 Podcast

These Eyes... Aren't Cryin'!

• Krystal says a (not so) tearful goodbye to Arabella Carey Chandler.
• Jake-gyver attempts brain surgery in the dark, and what do you know? It doesn't go so well.
• Ryan and Aidumb survive the tornado. Damn.
• Jesse and Angie are seemingly having communication problems.

It appears as if everyone in Pine Valley is either dead, in a coma, or seriously maimed. But why aren't we here at the PVP feeling the drama? You feelin' it? So far, the reviews are mixed. Help us figure it all out, and keep on hangin' on (as you always do) here.

10/24/08 Podcast

There's A(nother) Tornado in Pine Valley

(Except this one has better special effects.)

Oh, folks. I'm not gonna lie. I've been absent from both the 'cast and the blog this week. Ever since I saw TIIC turn Carmen into a caricature with her catfight with Erica on Wednesday, I haven't been the same. Almost stopped watching right then and there. But we made a commitment to you ("We Watch So you Don't Have To!"), and we're doing our best to keep that commitment. I will hang in this week, because I do think there will be some good, old-fashioned high stakes soap moments in the days ahead (not to mention the fact that I still love doing this podcast for you). So kick back, have a glass of chocolate milk, and give us your ass-toot opinions and commentaries (as you always do) here.

10/17/08 Podcast

P.S. - The Pine Valley Podcast offers our condolences to Laura, who lost her mother-in-law recently. Our best wishes to you and your family, Laura. We're thinking of you.

Somethin' Bad's a Comin'!

• Not sure if you all caught this, but apparently, something very, very bad will happen in Pine Valley. Soon. And it will end the world as we know it. (Didn't that happen in the real world last Monday, folks?)
• Jesse should be fingerprinted. Seriously. He's not our Jesse, folks. Sorry. Nope. It ain't him. Don't believe it. Not for one second.
• InsAnnie, Zach, Kendull, Cryan, Aidumb and Not-Very-Meanlee continue to make us seriously want to drive nails into our eyeballs.
• Petey was awesome!

Yikes. I'm afraid I was harsh this week, folks. It ain't gettin' better, people, and I'm nervous. Not about the tornado, mind you, but the ratings. That's the real cliffhanger! All we can do is try to keep a sense of humor about the whole thing. We hope you'll have a laugh with us, here.

10/03/08 Podcast

More Pancakes and Poetry (Really?)

• In a dazzlingly original display of sexual bravado, Greenlee paints her body in Aidumb's poetry. (We're serious. She does. And it's gross.)
• "Father-of-the-Year" Cryan Lavery makes (V-Tach-free) pancakes for Emma.
• Angie yells.
• Taylor cries.
• Kendull complains.
• Zach sulks.
• Petey scores!
• Randi... well, Randi doesn't do anything, really.

PVP founder and debonair commentator Taylor Crawford joins us this week as AMC chugs along under the direction of Chuckie Pratthole. Chuck is wrapping up old storylines while trying to expand some new ones. We're observing some hits, some misses, and some lost opportunities along the way. As our ass-toot bloggers have noted, history, TPTB, history! Just a little more, please! What else do you want more of? Tell us, darlings, here.

09/27/08 Podcast

Square Peg in a Round Hole

• Greenlee is so calm as to be comatose, and Kendall is someone we really don't even care about anymore.


• Petey gets electrocuted. (Huh? This better be Chuck Pratt's way of getting him to forget Colby!)


• Frankie attempts to comfort a D.B.T.E. Randi. (Actually, we couldn't tell she was sad, bless her heart).


• Annie and Petey continue to delight, but Jackson and Carmen still wanna make us hurl.

Seems like we have wildly divergent opinions, folk. Why are Jordan and I so not excited over recent developments? And as far as what's in the works? We are not amused by what we're hearing! What's your take? Give it to us straight, here.

09/19/08 Podcast

Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right

• Chuck Pratt undoes an "undone" abortion, but pretty much murders the character of Josh in the process.
• Angie and Frankie blow out the speakers on my high-definition television.
• Taylor and Jake and Amanda continue to delight.
• No Tad and Krystal, but less Colby, bless her heart!
• InsAnnie loses her baby, and Melissa Clare Egan gets to do what she does best. (We're loving it.)

I'm so over the Suxtet, but I'm way curious about what InsAnnie will tell Ryan. I'm still avoiding the spoilers, and I think MCE is here to stay, so... What do y'all think? I know you'll tell us, here.

09/12/08 Podcast

Shadow Explorer, YOU ROCK!

I got my file back!! If any of y'all use Windows Vista, download Shadow Explorer, now!

And for any of you who care to listen mid-week to a new podcast from last week, here it is!

(And let's keep the ass-toot commentary going and the opinions flowing here.)

09/05/08 Podcast

This Week, On All My Children!

As some of y'all know, the computer program that I use to record my podcasts broke down around 2 in the morning last night and corrupted my file. (At 2:01 a.m., Ashley broke down.)

But hey, they are bigger things in life to blubber about, so let's talk about The Kids!

Affter being away for a week and not getting a new PVP this week, your ass-toot commentary is needed now more than ever. So come on, listeners -- do your thing like only you can, here!

(And here's a golden oldie to tide you over, too!)

5/26/06 Podcast

Well, We Felt *Something*

• Fletcher was killed by a chick! (We loved it, and I, for one, am loving me some Taylor.)
• "Bella" stunk up the room, but our precious Amanda still came out smelling like a rose.
• Turns out, Jesse couldn't call Angie all those years because he was in the loony bin and couldn't find any quarters lying around.
• Crazy Kathy lights up our lives, and Baby Jenny is a joy.
• Suxtet who? InsAnnie what? (Okay, Jordan will feistily disagree with me on that one!)
• Jerkson and Carmen, however, still make both Jordan and me want to hurl.

I have not been reading the spoilers, but I'm starting to think I should because I'm a little nervous about where our little show is going, and I don't like surprises. What do y'all think? I know you'll let us know, here.

09/05/08 Podcast

First, the Good News...

• We got some SMOKIN'-HOT sex with Amamda and Jake (even if it was way too short a session).
• Devil Erica and Angel Erica was the most delicious we've seen La Kane in at least a year.
• No Trollby!
• InsAnnie gets more insAnnier.
• Angie and Franklin finally call Jesse on the whole "I've-been-on-the-run-for-20-years-but-somehow-I-know-how-to-make-Lamb-Chops-with-a-Moroccan-Spice-Rub-and-Asparagus-Risotto."
• Taylor and Jake, whilst not sexy, get (for me, at least) interesting. If AMC plays their cards right (and so far, I enjoyed what I saw), the Iraq storyline could be another groundbreaker for our little show.

The bad?

• Still too much suxtet.
• Petey's clothing choices. (Someone needs to tell the wardrobe department that Petey's clothes broadcast "dork" the way Stuart's one untucked collar broadcasts "special.")
• Fusion. (Enough said.)
• And last but not least? No new PVP this week.

Sorry, folks. A few of you have sent your loving thoughts our way, and even suggested that Ashley Mendoza needed to take a break every so often. So I've done just that. But I'm posting an oldie-but-goodie for you - in fact, it's our second-oldest episode! One of the first, back in May of 2006. (My how we're grown - we're 27 in SORAS years!) Those of you who have been with us since the beginning will recognize our very own Taylor Crawford. If we're lucky, we'll get Taylor back just in time for the annihilation of Josh's character. Although I'm dreading that particular storyline, I would pay money to hear Taylor say, "I wish I had a plane but I crashed it." (Thanks for the walk down memory lane, Brown Penny!)

I hope you all have a restful holiday (Jordan and I sure will), and we look forward to reading your continued ass-toot observations, here.

5/12/06 Podcast.

Winner or Snoozer?

• InsAnnie gets crazier, but doesn't catfight Kendall.
• Greenlee and Aidumb keep having not-so-hot sex.
• Carmen goes for Jackson, and doesn't get bitch slapped by Erica.
• Fletcher offers Frankie a deal that Frankie would prefer to refuse (and a storyline that I prefer would go away).

I'm losing my patience, folks. I'm sure Esensten and Brown are gone, yet the silliness remains. Please keep me hangin' on - and cheer me up - here.

8/22/08 Podcast

Split Decisions

• Greenlee marries Aidumb, while Ryan re-marries InsAnnie.
• Jack and Erica break, and Erica and Sam make.... small talk?
• During her first week in town, Taylor is all charm (uh, not really) as she graces Jake and Frankie with her presence.
• Amamda continues her personal quest to represent and promote strong women of the world everywhere!

Jordan and I are like two ships in the night this week. Not only did we record our latest podcast in the wee hours of the morning (so no song this week, folks), but we also had very different opinions of the week's events. Our blog is rocking this summer, so I know you'll tell us where you fall on the All My Children Spectrum of Suckiness. Post your thoughts (and maybe some new nicknames), here.

(And a special shout-out of love to Laura. All of our thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time.)


8/15/08 Podcast

It's Better Than a Sleeping Pill!

Is anyone surprised by the developments this week?

• InsAnnie tries to kill Greenlee.
• Greenlee remains oblivious to InsAnnie's craziness.
• Kendall obsesses over Ryan and InsAnnie, but doesn't seem to remember that she has children.
• Fletcher propositions Frankie. (Okay, even we couldn't have predicted the idiocy of this particular turn.)
• Erica looks hot! (Now that is one lady who never bores.)

So glad to be back this week, listeners! The show is a tad slow, but you, our viewers, always delight! Feel free to share your thoughts, opinions, and ideas here. (And Maybe Jordan will share that TV list of his, too.)

8/08/08 Podcast

Apologies

And I'm not talking about the song by Grace Potter and The Nocturnals.

Y'all are heatin' up this blog, and I'm afraid I've brought it all to a screeching halt.

Alas, I was not able to post a podcast this week. No Jesse/Frankie re-enactments, no Erica on a "date" with Sexy Sammy, no Coldby rants, no Blandie "blowups." I will be back next week - I promise, but until then, here's an oldie but goodie for you.

And please, folks, keep the DBTE list, the rants, the ass-toot commentary, the Amamda-Frankie-Jake-ANYONE ideas flowing here! Lord knows that your posts are keeping me tuned in right now, because our lame-duck head writers definitely aren't (bless their hearts).

11/30/07 Podcast

Too Many Teens!

• As our troublesome teens get dumber, Blandie gets evil-er.
• Ryan loves Greenlee, and Kendull tells her so.
• Erica "eats" her first post-jail meal.
• As Angie's weave gets smaller, Tad and Krystal's riff grows.

Julie Hanan Craputhers, Megan McTrash... Just two classic ABC Daytime TPTB that have made our Hall of Shame. We've got a new one to add: for her recent casting brilliance in putting on the canvas a NuColby and a New Randi, Judy Blye Wilson is responsible for many a fast-forward in the past weeks. (Not mine, of course, but I've been tempted.) Trouble is, we don't have a nickname for her. Can you help? Give us your ideas, here.

7/25/08 Podcast

Who's That's Girl?

• Blandie is kicking (Greenlee's) ass and compiling baby names.
• Angie and Jesse worry about that nasty Randy taking their precious Franklin for a ride (literally).
• Ryan rescues Greenlee, but Aidumb gets all the thanks (if you know what I mean).
• Jake is still waiting for his storyline to arrive - and it's coming on July 24th, with the arrival of Beth Ehler's "Taylor."

I'm sort of looking forward to Beth Ehler's coming on as "Taylor," but this reeks of the TPTB wanting a "sure supercouple" in RPG and BE. Is it so sure? I say, this ain't Guiding Light! Let's move on people! Still, who cares what I say. (I'm sick of hearing myself talk.) Tell us what you, our ass-toot listeners, think here.

7/18/08 Podcast